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Great great brill brill wicked wicked skill skill...

Started by Misspent Boners, May 06, 2018, 02:33:36 PM

Previous topic - Next topic
To have a friend like Jesus.

https://youtu.be/ujNF356ez68

What a wonderful video, instructing us on how to do a complete choreographed dance in tribute to our Lord and saviour the sexy Jesus Christ.




Watch the whole thing for absolute comedy gold; I love the bit where the guy on the left gives himself a supercamp slap on the wrist for getting it wrong. The song inexplicably begins with that famous Bach organ piece...And then when the Jesus tune kicks in proper the lyrics are so ridiculously fast that the 2 poor dancers can barely keep up. Again the guy on the left is particularly crap, just kind of swinging his limbs around in a demented fashion.

Towards the end there's a lovely Sabbathesque breakdown which sent me over the edge into fits of hilarity

Next viral video I reckon


Kelvin

I fairly sure the guy on the left hasn't believed in God a day in his life, and has has just infiltrated the group to take the piss.

pancreas

Quote from: Kelvin on May 06, 2018, 03:14:52 PM
I fairly sure the guy on the left hasn't believed in God a day in his life, and has has just infiltrated the group to take the piss.

I just kept imagining him as the target in a bukkake scene. Anyway, that's 3 minutes of my life, and a small piece of my sanity I'll never have back.

Kelvin


grassbath

I enjoy the meandering bassline, frightening synth strings and parping midi horns lending to the general cooking pot of insanity.

Quote from: grassbath on May 06, 2018, 03:57:50 PM
I enjoy the meandering bassline, frightening synth strings and parping midi horns lending to the general cooking pot of insanity.

Yeah those bizarre little synth flourishes are ridiculously ill fitting and disturbing hahaha

Blue Jam

When I started secondary school one of my new friends suggested I join "Quest Club", because she was in it and it was great and you got to stay indoors one lunchtime per week doing fun activities and you got to go on a really good school trip for free at the end of term.

"Quest Club" turned out to be the first years' own Christian Union and the school trip turned out to be a religious retreat. I got halfway through a Christian wordsearch or crossword or something before my new friend offered to save my seat while I got lunch and then just didn't bother coming back. I forget who she was now- funnily enough that friendship didn't last.

Junior Jesus-freak stuff like this just gives me the creeps. The Christian Union lot at my school were fucking weird- it's just not normal to be that age and that into religion. It's like being a Young Conservative or going on Young Apprentice or something.

Sebastian Cobb

[tag]New General Levy track said to 'need work'.[/tag]

Cuntbeaks

Quote from: Blue Jam on May 09, 2018, 12:06:51 AM
When I started secondary school one of my new friends suggested I join "Quest Club", because she was in it and it was great and you got to stay indoors one lunchtime per week doing fun activities and you got to go on a really good school trip for free at the end of term.

"Quest Club" turned out to be the first years' own Christian Union and the school trip turned out to be a religious retreat. I got halfway through a Christian wordsearch or crossword or something before my new friend offered to save my seat while I got lunch and then just didn't bother coming back. I forget who she was now- funnily enough that friendship didn't last.

Junior Jesus-freak stuff like this just gives me the creeps. The Christian Union lot at my school were fucking weird- it's just not normal to be that age and that into religion. It's like being a Young Conservative or going on Young Apprentice or something.
Surely they are all a front for harvesting fresh bumholes.

Blue Jam

Quote from: Cuntbeaks on May 09, 2018, 08:19:12 AM
Surely they are all a front for harvesting fresh bumholes.

I went to an all-girls' school and none of our RE teachers had cocks... but maybe that association is one reason why these things are so creepy.

Replies From View

There must have been a countrywide push for more youth-oriented church stuff at some point; we had one in the late 80s / early 90s called "Wacky Walcot" (the church itself was called Walcot Methodist Church); it was set up so we went to the first fifteen minutes of the church service and then left to do our "own thing", which was Wacky Walcot.  Hooray a sense of bunking off but then oh no we are still trapped here doing Jesus stuff.

Paul Calf

When I was 16/17 I had a girlfriend who was a clappy rock-church type Christian who went to St. Michael-le-Belfry near York Minster. You could tell it was a cool rock church because they called it 'St. Mike's'.

"They've got an electric guitar! and an amp, and rock!" she'd often say in an attempt to entice me. At the time, I was just learning Cubase and fascinated by the possibilities of procedurally-generated music.

It didn't last. Although I did shag her sister a couple of years later in an office above Gough and Davy's musical instrument shop on Stonebow, long after she had departed for a glittering career at Birmingham Conservatoire.

I often wonder what became of her.

Replies From View

Quote from: Paul Calf on May 09, 2018, 09:41:34 AM
I often wonder what became of her.

I suspect she succumbed to the gang wars of great great brill brill.  One minute you're doing the skill skill thumbs pointing action, and the next you're fighting off eight flick-knife youths, aren't you.

Just spent half an hour trying to find this video on YouTube before remembering I posted it here...clicked the link only to find its now private. Devastated. 

Dex Sawash


badaids

Quote from: Blue Jam on May 09, 2018, 12:06:51 AM
When I started secondary school one of my new friends suggested I join "Quest Club", because she was in it and it was great and you got to stay indoors one lunchtime per week doing fun activities and you got to go on a really good school trip for free at the end of term.

"Quest Club" turned out to be the first years' own Christian Union and the school trip turned out to be a religious retreat. I got halfway through a Christian wordsearch or crossword or something before my new friend offered to save my seat while I got lunch and then just didn't bother coming back. I forget who she was now- funnily enough that friendship didn't last.

Junior Jesus-freak stuff like this just gives me the creeps. The Christian Union lot at my school were fucking weird- it's just not normal to be that age and that into religion. It's like being a Young Conservative or going on Young Apprentice or something.

We had one of these at our school too called The Happy Club. The only reason we went at first was to avoid being forced outside in the pissing rain, and we were bemused to realise it was a Jesus freak Christian scam. The guy that ran it was called Roy, looked like a 100 year old Ted Danson and those wore powder blue nylon strides with massive flares and one of those thin plastic white belts. It had all the patchwork quilt Jesus We Love You friezes on the wall and everything. So we did what any card carrying prick 80s schoolboy did back then, we motored around acting the cunt annoying everyone until Roy lost his temper and booted us out. The final straw was when Roy nipped out for a piss and we piled barricaded the door by piling all the chairs against it so he couldn't get back in the classroom.

We hated The Happy Club but we resented the fact that we weren't allowed to be a part of it and so we were bound to ruin it for everyone else.

Our school had a JAM Club in the music room. Turned out it stood for Jesus And Me and no instruments were permitted.

Jasha

Every summer on the beach in Weston super Mare there was a young church group where you just arrived ad hock in the morning. It was the usual volley ball/limbo dancing/frisbee kind of thing till storytime then it was all about Jesus/Noah/Moses.  Popular with parents who wanted a free mornings babysitter though

Kankurette

Quote from: Blue Jam on May 09, 2018, 12:06:51 AM
When I started secondary school one of my new friends suggested I join "Quest Club", because she was in it and it was great and you got to stay indoors one lunchtime per week doing fun activities and you got to go on a really good school trip for free at the end of term.

"Quest Club" turned out to be the first years' own Christian Union and the school trip turned out to be a religious retreat. I got halfway through a Christian wordsearch or crossword or something before my new friend offered to save my seat while I got lunch and then just didn't bother coming back. I forget who she was now- funnily enough that friendship didn't last.

Junior Jesus-freak stuff like this just gives me the creeps. The Christian Union lot at my school were fucking weird- it's just not normal to be that age and that into religion. It's like being a Young Conservative or going on Young Apprentice or something.
We had a group like that in school called Chocolate Jam. Jam stood for 'Jesus and me'. I knew a couple of girls who were involved. One of them had a major drink problem in Sixth Form and later came out as a lesbian.

SpiderChrist

My sister-in-law and my father-in-law are both evangelicals. Her name is Sue. Her Facebook profile reads JEsusanDME.

jobotic

Quote from: Blue Jam on May 09, 2018, 12:06:51 AM
When I started secondary school one of my new friends suggested I join "Quest Club", because she was in it and it was great and you got to stay indoors one lunchtime per week doing fun activities and you got to go on a really good school trip for free at the end of term.

"Quest Club" turned out to be the first years' own Christian Union and the school trip turned out to be a religious retreat. I got halfway through a Christian wordsearch or crossword or something before my new friend offered to save my seat while I got lunch and then just didn't bother coming back. I forget who she was now- funnily enough that friendship didn't last.

Junior Jesus-freak stuff like this just gives me the creeps. The Christian Union lot at my school were fucking weird- it's just not normal to be that age and that into religion. It's like being a Young Conservative or going on Young Apprentice or something.

My girlfriend from a hundred years ago had a cousin in a Xtian Metal band called Questallion.

Blue Jam

Quote from: Toxteth OGrady on May 11, 2021, 08:26:25 AM
Our school had a JAM Club in the music room. Turned out it stood for Jesus And Me and no instruments were permitted.

My school had a JIM club. One year mysterious posters started appearing around the school saying things like "You know when you've been JIM'd" and "A JIM a day helps you work, rest and play" and plays on other 90's advertising slogans. They were everywhere and it was annoying not knowing what they meant, especially as a few smug individuals were all "I know, but I'm not telling". Turned out it stood for "Jesus In Me" and it was the name of a spin-off of Christian Union, and once that little secret was out everyone stopped giving a fuck. It was basically an attempt to make Christianity seem like this cool and exclusive little club, but of course once everyone knew what it involved it didn't seem very cool at all.

Just tried Googling "Jesus In Me" and found this:

https://faithinkids.org/resources/app/resource/183/title/dangerous-club

"Dangerous Club" is a very misleading name. I wonder if they get a load of violent kids turning up on expecting to go out throwing fireworks and exploring derelict buildings and being very disappointed.

Captain Z

Before I went away to university I heard on more than one occasion that the best way to make new friends was to join a society (it absolutely wasn't). Not being interested in anything remotely competitive, I signed up to the "ultimate frisbee" club on a bit of a whim as the guys running the stall seemed pretty chill and friendly. This was 2003, so all I got was a day and time and approximate location to meet on the beach. I turned up, and sure enough, there was a group of people playing frisbee. "Is this ultimate frisbee?" "Yes, join in!". About an hour later I realised I was in fact playing frisbee with the Christian society, as they began trying to recruit me for further events. I made my excuses and left, and still to this day have no idea what happened to the actual ultimate frisbee club, or whether it was just an alt-Christian front all along.

SpiderChrist

Quote from: Blue Jam on May 11, 2021, 10:12:25 AM
My school had a JIM club. One year mysterious posters started appearing around the school saying things like "You know when you've been JIM'd" and "A JIM a day helps you work, rest and play"


touchingcloth

Quote from: SpiderChrist on May 11, 2021, 09:54:35 AM
My sister-in-law and my father-in-law are both evangelicals. Her name is Sue. Her Facebook profile reads JEsusanDME.

One of my favourite chords.

Paul Calf

Does tricking people into making a lifelong spiritual commitment work? I suppose it must have some success, but you're selecting for gullibility and suggestability.

Ahhhh.....

Kankurette

We had a few religious groups doing school assemblies in high school, including one who blindfolded me and gave me a carrot, and another one who did a cringey Nativity called Charlie's Shepherds. It was very Legz Akimbo. I did go through a brief Christian phase as a teen but it didn't last, though I do still enjoy the smell of churches (I have a thing about smells, must be the autism) and just looking at the architecture and stuff, like when my stepdad took me into a nice little old church in a village in Cambridgeshire when we were on a walk.