VERSUS 2017: The Contenders

[poo]

Blac Chyna's Anus
Drunk Toadfish from Neighbours
Porknell Boswego
Dog Shit
Tugnasty and Cloon
Cummy Dr Forskoid
The Bosun
Cackman Biffre
Knuckle Deep
Karl & Conjoined Anus Karl
Simon Adebisi
BritainFirst XI
Smengolin Rotundoforsk
Beans & Penises
Edvald Boasson Hagen
Roy Jay
Simon Clowsexy
Gunty Verpoohausen
Terringboldt Comely-Bunt
Armitage Wanks
Pork Hammer Xtrem
The Goblin
Dugbo (Interstellar space simpleton with a permanent erection)
Shane Ritchie
Pottay Mang Jeffre
Mongbit Intense-o-Pead
Piebald the Jizzy Gypsy
Steve McDonald off of Coronation Street
Stop, Look, Glisten
Cum Dump
Father Christmas
Graveraper
Frot Golem Ian
Marc Almond
Pwn Friday
Peter Donald Ebdon
Professor Sex
Ted Hankey
Gopping Sod
The Parsnip Sisters
Neptunian Sperm Dervish
Buldwyn Wubber-Borskyne
Digital Sex Wasp
Hitler
Spacedockers.com
Anal Cum Queen
Zip, Lob, Suck, Shoot
Bung's Homunculus
The Ponce of Bulba
Nick Knowles
Length Acceptance
Stooligreg Hurtybum
Psychology Turd
Paranormal Tits Hag
Frotty LaTour
Night Soil Man
The Happy Lozenge
Droitwich Turd Burglar
Dos Meirot
Sociopathic Powerslut II
The Shitty Owl
Cat Silage
Glyn
The Human Cum Tidy
Inserty Insertesson
Milverton
The Bicester Walrus
Art of the Hyperbeavre
Poo on Stilts
Mr Hen
Bean Beanland
Gupta de Mingmong's Horrible Poon Grayson
Susan Boswego
Situation Klimpt
24/7 Bottie Tug
The Harlequins from Epsilon 5
Berliner AssHaus
Golly Fudge
The Bumless Clowne
Ngary Ngary
Nolly Eggwe
Roy: Breeding Missionary Scarecrow
Juggy
Sexy Plague Doctor
The Gumbie Island Frot Preep
The Gaping Anus of Chris
Jenkins
Purple Aki
Peen (and the Bottie Oyst)
Mister Brindley
An tSaoi
Goodluck Jonathan
The Wally Milkers from Biffre World 7
Sperm Behemoth
The Walvis Bay Cum Dragon
The New Royal Baby
Lemon Party 2
Glans Patrol
Secondary Arse
Gloucester Military Lighthouse
Cocks Going In and Out
Judge Prepuce
The Man with the Arse Up His Arse
Shit n' Onions
The Devonshire Poo Pusher
Ronnie Pickering
Toad!
Mizbet the Skull-Fucking Scarecrow
A Stooligong is a Gooligong
The Bum-Hungry Jugout Smirn
Anal Cum King
Michael Perkins
Leicester Lick-Out King
Nige
Greginald Cackman
Milky Way Smother Crab
Pengboten Insane-o-Gash
Pacquois du Menthe
Slut
Frankenbulb
Ginger Colin
Lickouty Lickoutersson
Jugtown La Mer
Bingtown Wasp Man
Dar Eggwe
Death Glans
Gloylot  the Glen-Lonely Potty Clowne
Bryan McClownbiff
DJ insertion
The Lick-Out Twins
Tim Henman
Ranjit the Cum-Crazy
Thick Heavy Welsh Cock
Trago Mills Nightwatchmen
Space AIDS
Argos Universal Slut
Pubes Daz
Decoy Blowjob Goblins
Zbiderman Eggwe
The Man with the Cunt Up His Arse
Lee Bente'
Stazione de Beavre
Glengarry Glen-Egg
French Bumming in the USA
Paedos in Garyland
7egg
Darren
A Shitty Clown is a Spitty Clowne
Jugbian Quiche Ogre
Captian Pea-Coddy
Paul Ross
Tertiary Arse
Bunzle Eggwe
This Cunt: http://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php?action=profile
Tommy Boyd
Pure Cornish Anal
Ultimate Probe
Chauntcey Boswego
Shaheen Jafargholi
Buttman and Rocco
Homeless Ian Beale
Guangdong La Mer
22nd Crab Nebula Pwn Jesters
Cum Henry 2.0
Billtong Kenny-Eggwe
Pan-Galactic Finger Weasel No. 3744901
Eggdillis 9
The Ombudsman
Jingbot T. Nippelhaus
Orville the Mouse
The Pies Have Eyes!
Terry the Rapist
Gogknobbin Von Egg
The Thoughtful Rapist
Technology Egg
Bacon and Eggwe
Smeng the Cunt
Archbishop Desmond Poontang
Venusian Sex Blob
The Mull of Lak Toon
Scum
Sweetcorn Du Madre
Speculums & Antennae
Gary's Nan
Donald John Trump
John Wanoa
Fart Club Swindon
Fingerblast 3000
Sperm Hog
St John Smythe
Swansea Anus Inspector
Loggy Shallots
Greased-Up Fuck Loony
Shit 4 Cunts
Terrible Dr Forskoid
Baldigreg Nonretract-o-Forsk
Russell Grant
Bogluv Sumcunt
French Pegging
Lionel Boswego
Frot Golem Simon
Loose Floppy Anus (LFA)
Mysterious Erection
Labia and Co.
Frot Golem Henry
Slit Vicki
The Masked Anus
Frotmaglen
The Pierrots from Sector 9
A Gary called Alan
Foreskie the Foreskin
The Bottie Slaves from Alpha Proxima
Tony Drago 147
Ghost Oral
Greg
Chwaraeteg Adebowale
John Higgins
The Man with the Oystery Bell
Total Cum Solutions plc
Lance Corporal Boiled Egg
Coddy
Will-o-the-Wisp Gone Nasty
The Smego-Fecal Nexus
Ponzie
Eurobeak
Dr Porkinson
G3KH(FP)
GRAVE
Spitty Human Cock Slave
Legend Gary
Poos Mitchell
Your Mum
Turville
Revenge Dildo
Skullfucka
Randi Bison
Your Dad
Ian Hardcore
Scotch Egg on Stilts
Smirnigan Glentense-o-Paed
South Wales Heavy Cummers
Penis-Me-Owl-Tidy
Beeg Jenkins
Jason Megma
An Alan called Gary
The German with the little sweaty penis
Damocles The Sausage
Papa-John Weenus
The ASDA Butcher
G-Length
Foreskyne du Monde
Greg 2
Cunts McGuigan
Dorset Stool Rescue
Oswestry Wanking Club
Girth on that

[poo]

Cumming soon

[Mr Eggs]

Speculums & Antennae all the fucking way home.

[thraxx]

What no Maggots In His Cum this year?

[canadagoose]

I think Milverton will do well.

[poo]

Speculums & Antennae all the fucking way home.

Good call; a personal fave. I'd love to see an Eggwe vs Boswego final - Nolly vs Gloylot is the dream. Got a feeling it's gonna be a year for players with defensive strength though - the smart money's on the likes of LFA and Mister Brindley, who, with his twenty fuckholes, can soak up wave after wave of hard pwn. Strongest field yet though - anything can happen.

[hamfist]

I think the sponsorship money Poundstretcher have brought in should help bring some junior contenders up through the ranks. These academy graduates are pretty sharp but admittedly still somewhat wet behind the biff. Hard to pick a winner at this stage.

Anyone collecting the panini stickers ?

[pancreas]

Disappointed not to see Loose Womb or Brigadier Prolapsus.

[Mr Eggs]

I can imagine scenario where Length Acceptance and Loose Floppy Anus get the final. Slack thumbing-in and backdoor work.

One for the connoisseur.

Nolly vs Gloylot is the dream.

Merthyr Tydfil leisure centre aint big enough.

[BlodwynPig]

I've got a dildo each way on Jenkins

[Ferris]

I am delighted to see The Masked Anus qualify (was worried there would be scheduling conflicts). One to watch.

Similarly pleased to see Tim Henman's competitive comeback. He has the determination to see it through all the way. Could be a dark horse for the title, I might stick a few quid on an each way semi-final appearance.

[spamwangler]

ctrl+f

"Chelsea Meat Thermometer"

NO RESULTS

disappointing.

see you next year boys.

[Cuellar]

What a prospect.

Going for a rusted cock-cage each way on Leicester Lick-Out King and a wild punt of £50m to win on South Wales Heavy Cummers, why not!

[BlodwynPig]

What a prospect.

Going for a rusted cock-cage each way on Leicester Lick-Out King and a wild punt of £50m to win on South Wales Heavy Cummers, why not!

You're a fucking fair weather fan. Remember when you were a bona fide Masticulator supporter, decked out in Masticulator repro lycra, shouting down fans of other contestants, abusing journalists who gave him a bad write up. Then he was convicted of failure to gape and you ditched all that faster than a Nolly jism smear. You should be banned from Merthyr

[Dex Sawash]

I hope we'll see A Stooligong is a Gooligong in the broadcasting booth


Edit- missed out that they're on the list in first read. Good news for ASIAG fans.

[BlodwynPig]

I hope we'll see A Stooligong is a Gooligong in the broadcasting booth


Edit- missed out that they're on the list in first read. Good news for ASIAG fans.

They'll be live commentating during their contest

[Cuellar]

You're a fucking fair weather fan. Remember when you were a bona fide Masticulator supporter, decked out in Masticulator repro lycra, shouting down fans of other contestants, abusing journalists who gave him a bad write up. Then he was convicted of failure to gape and you ditched all that faster than a Nolly jism smear. You should be banned from Merthyr

I do not recognise this. My position on that whole sorry affair remains consistent. I make no apology for following my heart on South Wales Heavy Cummers.

My support of Leicester Lick-Out King is, however, purely motivated by money.

[Captain Z]

Cum on Tim!

[Howj Begg]

Cum on Tim!

You realise you're cheering for his defeat here?

I think Psychology Turd may be one of my lecturers in disguise.

I know he's an outsider, but Greased-Up Fuck Loony has been looking really good in the wank-off qualifiers. MY tip for the top.

[thraxx]

I can't believe the lack of interest in VERSUS 2017 this year amongst Cabbers, though interest generally has been in decline since Man's Chest Poo Shited pulled out in 2000 preferring to go to the World Gape Club Championship in Tokyo that year.  Come on fellas what happened to the magic of the cup?

[BlodwynPig]

I'm not watching this. Literally a bunch of preening, pampered, perfumed arseholes.

I'm switching allegiances to the WVA Vorces 2014, this year at the abandoned Findus manufacturing plant in Killingworth.

[Ferris]

Come on fellas what happened to the magic of the cup?

Too much money in the game.

[Ferris]

I know he's an outsider, but Greased-Up Fuck Loony has been looking really good in the wank-off qualifiers. MY tip for the top.

Laughable. Will be finished in the first round

[hamfist]

Too much money in the game.

What with Poundstretcher onboard ?

It's a different world now. Look at the Chinese - their Nollycore scene has exploded in the last five years, fuelled by loose money gushing out of corporate donors. The ad revenue from 肛門的對手 2016 alone grossed more than the GDP of Andorra and the turnover of Greggs combined. There's still room for the traditional spit, cum and sawdust scene at local level. Gawthorpe Gapeoff 2017 drew quite a crowd and that's not even league, and they only do gaping.

[BlodwynPig]

Blame Barry Hernia and his idea for "speed gape" and "Frottage girls". Too much razzmatazz.

[Ferris]

What with Poundstretcher onboard ?

It's a different world now ... There's still room for the traditional spit, cum and sawdust scene at local level.

I hear this argument all the time and I just don't buy it. When VERSUS has that much cash, the youngsters (the future lifeblood of the sport) won't want to know about the local level stuff.

How long before mainstays like The Masked Anus are "unmasked" at th behest of corporate sponsors rather than for pure love of the game? Could even be this year. Disgrace, where is our government on this?

Asleep at the wheel.

[BlodwynPig]

You're the disgrace mate. Never even set foot in a versus arena, despite having one of the top tier gape stadia on your hometown doorstep - the Walsall Bowl (formerly Khan's Balti House).

When you've sat out 13 rounds of reacharound tussling preliminaries and experienced first hand the cosmic beauty of nolly bully bum ram at the Accrington Lido, then you can talk about how modernisation is spoiling the Grand Ol' Gape

[Ferris]

Clueless.

One (of the many!) venues I heard this argument was at Khan's(!), back in the day when it was "off-grid". I used to watch a friend's dad enter the amateur bouts most Friday nights and some of his performances would bring a tear to your eye.

Now, there was a group of us nippers in there enjoying the action, but there was no denying the ratio against the ageing demographic in the room. The sooner you wake up and realize VERSUS must adapt to attract today's youth, the better. You're a throwback, mate. Get with the times.

#WengerIn

[BlodwynPig]

I often watch the Versus Senior tour on ESPN. The real stars, admittedly past their peak, but it's always a joy to see an old timer recreating say "the floppy flange", even if the emphasis is on floppy these days.

[GMTV]

Are The Lick-Out Twins going to pull their tongues out this season? Or are they on the decline? A big big VERSUS for them.