I hear you're a parasitic member of the rentier class now, doppelkorn.

[doppelkorn]

DING DONG! Landlord here!

So we have to move house from London to Manchester but it's too short notice to sell our flat and buy somewhere, so we're simultaneously becoming landlords (in London) and tenants (in Manchester).

Everyone, including me, thought, "Haha I'm gonna be coining it", but if you do the maths, that's not the case. We basically break even after agency fees and tax and insurance. For the first few months we actually make a massive loss. I'm not sure how these buy-to-let king/queenpins manage it.

I'll miss living in my own home. I like the thought of waking up and taking a claw hammer to my toilet, because it's my toilet. Can't do that in the master's new big house in Bury.

Has anyone else been disillusioned by predatory capitalism?

[thenoise]

Landlords usually only break even, month to month - you make the money when you sell the house.  House prices are unlikely to skyrocket like they did in the 90s, but it's still basically the best investment you can make.

[Zetetic]

We basically break even after agency fees and tax and insurance.

And the mortgage?

[thenoise]

Yes, and when you pay off the mortgage(s).  You have someone else paying off your debts, and when it is gone, they will still pay you.  It's a long term investment.

_{First against the wall when we are in charge.}

[Zetetic]

You have someone else paying off your debts

Quite - it's not "breaking even".

I think we're about ready to deliver a verdict.

[MojoJojo]

Yes, and when you pay off the mortgage(s).  You have someone else paying off your debts, and when it is gone, they will still pay you.  It's a long term investment.

This wasn't always the case - rents used to be similar to interest, so they'd be less than a repayment mortgage. The housing market made some sort of sense then.

[Icehaven]

I live in a 7 room houseshare with rooms varying between £400-550 pcm, which is at least £3000 a month, possibly up to £3500. I don't know what the monthly bills are but I doubt they come to half that, and even if they do that's still over a grand a month profit. So maybe extend your flat a bit, add a few more bedrooms?

[doppelkorn]

This is going really well.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Lol

[Paul Calf]

DING DONG! Landlord here!

So we have to move house from London to Manchester but it's too short notice to sell our flat and buy somewhere, so we're simultaneously becoming landlords (in London) and tenants (in Manchester).

Everyone, including me, thought, "Haha I'm gonna be coining it", but if you do the maths, that's not the case. We basically break even after agency fees and tax and insurance. For the first few months we actually make a massive loss. I'm not sure how these buy-to-let king/queenpins manage it.

I'll miss living in my own home. I like the thought of waking up and taking a claw hammer to my toilet, because it's my toilet. Can't do that in the master's new big house in Bury.

Has anyone else been disillusioned by predatory capitalism?

Using an agency? No excuse for that. They're all fucking cunts who'll kiss your arse while they extort money from both you and your tenants. Don't outsource the dirty work to bastards who'll drain you dry and make your tenants' lives a misery.

[shiftwork2]

Outing yourself as a landlord on CooBo.  Hmmm, interesting choice.

By the way it is CooBo now so please start using this forthwith cheers

[doppelkorn]

Too late mate. Done.

Our mate works for a lettings agent and gave us a decent discount, but our flat was on the market for weeks with bugger all interest. In the end we switched to another agent at the bottom of our road and they sent three potential parties round that night.

I don't have time to be checking and referencing potential tenants when we're moving jobs and house and have a one-year-old to deal with.

[doppelkorn]

Outing yourself as a landlord on CooBo.

Landlord and tenant.

[bgmnts]

Fuck off cunt.

[shiftwork2]

Fuck off cunt.

Is that at me or dops?  Fair either way tbh

[Paul Calf]

Too late mate. Done.

Our mate works for a lettings agent and gave us a decent discount, but our flat was on the market for weeks with bugger all interest. In the end we switched to another agent at the bottom of our road and they sent three potential parties round that night.

I don't have time to be checking and referencing potential tenants when we're moving jobs and house and have a one-year-old to deal with.

Renting is one thing, but keeping those fucking parasites in business really is inexcusable.

How much are they charging your tenants for those reference and credit  checks?

[doppelkorn]

What's supposed to happen now then?

[Icehaven]

I don't have time to be checking and referencing potential tenants

Your letting agent probably won't either, but they'll still happily charge you and your tenants for not doing it.

[Paul Calf]

Ditto cleaning and repairs.

[Replies From View]

What's supposed to happen now then?

You buy everyone's drinks forever.

[doppelkorn]

Well the pre-tenancy cleaning we have to pay for. Fair enough. I've seen the referencing documents. I mean I don't have a clue what the cost of doing that is. Fuck knows. Things like the gas and electrical safety certificates we have to arrange and pay for ourselves.

Question for Paul, because Paul has lots of opinions which are always, miraculously, correct: what should I have done from the start of the process?

The scenario is: you have to move to Manchester in three months and you own a flat in London.

[thenoise]

Landlord and tenant.

A cunt and a failure.

[Paul Calf]

Well the pre-tenancy cleaning we have to pay for. Fair enough. I've seen the referencing documents. I mean I don't have a clue what the cost of doing that is. Fuck knows. Things like the gas and electrical safety certificates we have to arrange and pay for ourselves.

Question for Paul, because Paul has lots of opinions which are always, miraculously, correct: what should I have done from the start of the process?

The scenario is: you have to move to Manchester in three months and you own a flat in London.

What would you have done if letting agents didn't exist?

[doppelkorn]

What would you have done if letting agents didn't exist?

What do you think? Are you basically telling me off for using a letting agent? Answer my question.

[Icehaven]

Well the pre-tenancy cleaning we have to pay for. Fair enough. I've seen the referencing documents. I mean I don't have a clue what the cost of doing that is. Fuck knows. Things like the gas and electrical safety certificates we have to arrange and pay for ourselves.

Do you know how much the letting agents fees to your tenant are going to be? If you're paying them to do the referencing (which doesn't mean they'll actually do it btw, whatever docs you've seen) then what are those fees for? If you're mates with the agent then do ask him as I'd genuinely like to know. Given that letting agencies charge tenants fees between zero and hundreds and hundreds of pounds (I have a colleague about to pay £400 in fees to rent a 2 bedroom house for £700 a month) I'm intrigued to know exactly what it is that some agents do for nothing which yet seems to cost others about £50, and others £400.

[bgmnts]

Is that at me or dops?  Fair either way tbh

You're reet.

[monkfromhavana]

Landlord and tenant.

I've just started singing this in a Depeche Mode "Master & Servant" style.

[Replies From View]

I'm intrigued to know exactly what it is that some agents do for nothing which yet seems to cost others about £50, and others £400.

All the broccoli needs to be removed from the property one way or another; the more broccoli left after the deadline, the higher the fees.

It seems a joke but I've seen letting agents sucking up broccoli spores from carpets with a giant digital counter thing on top of the vacuum cleaner like you'd see on a game show, registering all the broccoli going in.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I don't have time to be checking and referencing potential tenants when we're moving jobs and house and have a one-year-old to deal with.

Looking at your time spent on CaB suggests you do. Good job you're starting early breaking the stereotype of landlords as feckless and lazy.

Btw, having a child is something you will find yourself dragging out to excuse things in perpetuity.

If it's so burdensome you should sell up. The kid I mean. Get shot of the cunt. Organs on dark web, cock to Cambodia. I want him in segments by tea time.

[Danger Man]

He must spend all his time on the cycling thread if he thinks he can come on here and boast about being a landlord who owns property in London and not get his arse kicked.

Lucky for him it's Sunday morning and the mob are all asleep in their rented bedsits.