I hear you're a parasitic member of the rentier class now, doppelkorn.

[gilbertharding]

By the way it is CooBo now so please start using this forthwith cheers

Dark Fruits CooBoo.

New page Dark Fruits CooBoo.

[Danger Man]

Outing yourself as a landlord on CooBo.  Hmmm, interesting choice.

Landlord is the second worst thing you can be on here. Number one ought to be peado but if somebody outed themselves as that it would probably just be followed by lots of edgy jokes.

Real number one is a female member of the Conservative Party. Perhaps the OP can try that one next.

[Danger Man]

Renting is one thing, but keeping those fucking parasites in business really is inexcusable.

They perform a valuable function in that they allow middle-class people to think they aren't spivs.

Other than that, a complete waste of space.

[Paul Calf]

What do you think? Are you basically telling me off for using a letting agent? Answer my question.

I'm not trying to be smart here. Letting agents are fucking scumbags who prey on the vulnerable at exactly the point when they're most vulnerable. I am genuinely discombobulated that someone whose posts I've liked, who's made me laugh in the past  is really planning to line the pockets of these fucking shitheels because he 'doesn't have time' to fulfil his obligations to people who are dependent on him for a basic human need.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

All the men come in these places
And the men are all the same
You don't look at their faces
And you don't ask their names
You don't think of them as human
You don't think of them at all
You keep your mind on the money
Keeping your eyes on the wall

I'm your private landlord, a landlord for money
I'll do what you want me to do (six months late)
I'm your private landlord, a landlord for money
And any old agreement will do

I want to make a million dollars
I want to live out by the sea
Have a husband and some children
Yeah, I guess I want a family

All the men come in these places
And the men are all the same
You don't look at their faces
And you don't ask their names

I'm your private landlord, a landlord for money
I'll do what you want me to do
I'm your private landlord, a landlord for money
And any old dolescum will do
I'm your private landlord, a landlord for money
I'll do what I'm contractually obliged to do (at a push)
I'm your private landlord, a landlord for money
And any old deposit will do

Deutch marks or dollars
American Express will do nicely, thank you
Let me loosen up your wallet
Tell me, do you want some hot water in your flat again?

I'm your private landlord, a chancer for money
I'll do what you want me to do
I'm your private landlord, a chance for some money
And any old tenant will do

All the men come in these places
And the men are all the same
You don't look at their faces
And you don't ask their names
You don't think of them as human
You don't think of them at all
You keep your mind on the money
Keeping your eyes on the wall

[Alberon]

I used to be a landlord. The housing market had crashed about ten years ago so if I sold my old place I'd lose a fair bit. It was mortgage free so I remortgaged it with an interest free deal and then rented it to a friend at reduced rates.

Even then I was covering the mortgage and then some on our new place. The remortgage and the rent profit allowed us to buy our current house and cover half the mortgage each month. Now I've sold my old house we're mortgage free. We're just very lucky we got the place when we did. We could never afford it now.

In my defence, we never used letting agents.

(Did I overuse the word mortgage there. Mortgage, mortgage. Ooh, it's gone all funny now.)

And I'm not sorry I did it. Given the same circumstances I'd do it all over again! Now, please excuse me I'm off to swim in all my gold coins.

[im barry bethel]

what should I have done from the start of the process?

The scenario is: you have to move to Manchester in three months and you own a flat in London.

Spoken to your local housing association about becoming a social landlord.

Don't forget to inform your mortgage company that you're no longer a resident borrower

[doppelkorn]

I'm clearly a Wrong Bastard, but what would a Correct Man do? Maybe good-opinion-haver Shoulders has the answer?

[Replies From View]

Has anyone ever seen a bald landlord?

[doppelkorn]

Spoken to your local housing association about becoming a social landlord.

Don't forget to inform your mortgage company that you're no longer a resident borrower

1. I didn't even know that was a thing.
2. Did that first.

[Paul Calf]

Has anyone ever seen a bald landlord?

m-8

[Replies From View]

m-8

Dartboards don't count.

[doppelkorn]

I'm not trying to be smart here. Letting agents are fucking scumbags who prey on the vulnerable at exactly the point when they're most vulnerable. I am genuinely discombobulated that someone whose posts I've liked, who's made me laugh in the past  is really planning to line the pockets of these fucking shitheels because he 'doesn't have time' to fulfil his obligations to people who are dependent on him for a basic human need.

I've always had pretty decent experiences of lettings agents as a tenant, to be fair.

[Johnny Yesno]

Landlord is the second worst thing you can be on here.

Only when you're a pompous edgelord as well.

Number one ought to be peado but if somebody outed themselves as that it would probably just be followed by lots of edgy jokes.

Heal thyself, edgelord.

Real number one is a female member of the Conservative Party. Perhaps the OP can try that one next.

Standing up for women now, is it? You right wingers always manage to pull that from absolutely nowhere when your back's against the wall.

[Twit 2]

Top 3 worst things on CaB:

1) Danger Man, specifically in his role as a landlord.
2) Danger Man, generally.
3) Landlords.

[Johnny Yesno]

Top 3 worst things on CaB:

1) Danger Man, specifically in his role as a landlord.
2) Danger Man, generally.
3) Landlords.

All true, although I like DM when he's not deciding what everyone else thinks. Which is rare these days, sadly.

[Twit 2]

(I don't actually dislike DM or have much of an opinion on him at all really; just doing a flippant half-arsed post, which is his stock-in-trade, seemingly, THE MASSIVE PROPERTY-OWNING MEGA-CUNT!!!)

[Danger Man]

You right wingers

Not right-wing.

If you want right-wing, just chuck some money at any Corbyn supporter on here!

All true, although I like DM when he's not deciding what everyone else thinks. Which is rare these days, sadly.

Sobriety has its downsides.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Spoken to your local housing association about becoming a social landlord.

Don't forget to inform your mortgage company that you're no longer a resident borrower

1 year old son here mate

As if there's time inbeween moaning about barely breaking even and posting on CaB to have done that

[Better Midlands]

Our mate works for a lettings agent

What kind of monster are you?

[Johnny Yesno]

Not right-wing.

I called you a 'right winger', meaning you make it up as you go along.

Oh yes.

[Ferris]

The scenario is: you have to move to Manchester in three months and you own a flat in London.

Burn it to the ground, claim it on the insurance (make it look like an electrical thing), give the fire inspector a sweetener if it looks like they won't play ball. Hire some heavies to put the wind up him and his lovely wife at tescos if he still refuses.

Realistically, you could keep the agency in your back pocket as plan b. Maybe they'd rent out the smouldering remains if the insurance thing doesn't pan out.

[Ferris]

This thread has gone down the shitter. I reckon using one of these agency folks is fair play if you're moving and need to get someone else to look after your place.

Maybe you need to live in London to hate these agency people, but I've made the wise decision to never live in London, so I wouldn't know.

Actually I might just delete this post and keep my head below the parapet. Too late!

[Morrison Lard]

I can't believe you've done this, doppelkorn.

You should've just gone out on the street and gave your keys to a homeless.

[Johnny Yesno]

Another 'Tell me I'm a good person, really' thread doesn't turn out as anticipated.

[Ferris]

Another 'Tell me I'm a good person, really' thread doesn't turn out as anticipated.

Avatar of Peter Sagan so he's a good lad in my book.

[Johnny Yesno]

Avatar of Peter Sagan so he's a good lad in my book.

I hadn't heard of him. Turns out he does sport. Sport is evil. Proof that our landlord man is a bad lad. Sorry, I don't make the rules.

[doppelkorn]

Another 'Tell me I'm a good person, really' thread doesn't turn out as anticipated.

It's gone exactly as I anticipated, to be fair.

[Johnny Yesno]

It's gone exactly as I anticipated, to be fair.

In that case, we're golden.

[Dex Sawash]

I need to move in a hurry. Going to sell to one of those distressed property buyer cash now hard types who will make it a student rental.