VERSUS 2017: Round 1

[hamfist]

jesus christ, Ledge posted a picture of Daz's bile-flecked prolapsed bulb on bebo last night. His fucking mum only went and ,liked' it. Daz never had a chance, and he'll never walk the same again.

Impressed by Glyn though - giving it *that* convincingly to an Eggwe takes some stones, and it appears he has them in spades, spades of confidence that is - to face down Bunzle with a snap-tie on your forsk to keep the pus in takes balls, the kind of balls Glyn is now riding around Windsor on as he triumphantly attempts to gatecrash the royal wedding - ding or should I say DONG being the key here - the key to the castle as that's where Glyn is going with his pus-filled prepuce : to give Meghan the good news - good news about bursting Eggwe's bellybutton from the inside - the inside of his butt - Eggwe now being the butt of all jokes after that pasting - the paste being Glyn's wretched duck-butter he's amassed on his biff during the off season - and what a season - seasoning - like salt salty salty tears of defeat versus salty salty salty ejaculate of exalted vict'ry. I am spatchcocked on the skewer of this tourney and it's only just begun.

[Ferris]

Tim Henman's bout a complete embarrassment. Clear he hadn't trained and was getting by on instinct alone. I don't think he'll be back next year.

[thraxx]

Tim Henman's bout a complete embarrassment. Clear he hadn't trained and was getting by on instinct alone. I don't think he'll be back next year.

Come on Tim!  But that not that much...!  The poor beggar.

[Huxleys Babkins]

Absolute carnage in the media compound just now. Henman's upended a table, ripped his shirt off and doused himself in barley water.



"I was fucking robbed. I'll be back next year and no cunt'll stop me" he bellowed.

Very strong words there from the Tiger.

[Gregory Torso]

Can not believe Homeless Ian Beale went through. All those toothy suckjobs on the canal tow-path behind Franks car lot must have really paid off

[Ferris]

Who's your favourite to go all the way? Greased Up Fuck Loony and Tim Henman both out.

I could follow Marc Almond I suppose.

[BlodwynPig]

No score over 10? I am sure previous tournaments saw a handful of 11s and 12s...and only one tie that went to a Frot race.

I expect fireworks in the next round or I'll be back to watching Belgian minor league Versus from the 80s on VHS.

[Cuellar]

Who's your favourite to go all the way? Greased Up Fuck Loony and Tim Henman both out.

I could follow Marc Almond I suppose.

Might be biased, but I do think that Leicester Lick-Out King has the most complete game on the circuit at the moment. A naturally gifted finisher with a long-frot technique that many would kill for. Even if you can keep up with him, he can always find that bit extra in a gape off.

He looks up for it too!

[pancreas]

My money's on Greginald Cackman this year. Been dismissed as old news after word got round about an ingrown forsk—zero good for versus, as we all know—but insiders know he's been getting the osteo and spending the time working on his bassoon technique. The outsider, mark my words, and needs watching, mark my words.

[BlodwynPig]

My money's on Greginald Cackman this year. Been dismissed as old news after word got round about an ingrown forsk—zero good for versus, as we all know—but insiders know he's been getting the osteo and spending the time working on his bassoon technique. The outsider, mark my words, and needs watching, mark my words.

you're into sport as well as innuendo now!?

[poo]

Most amazing 1st round stat is that the only '0' score came in Mister Brindley's gape-off whitewash of fancied debutant Paranormal Tits Hag. I think Brindley must've been toying with the Hag initially, and I got him down to go all the way. Just looks really strong. I mean, just how do you pwn a giant egg that has over twenty fuckholes? Also fancy one of the golems to go far this year.

Cracking round overall I thought. Lots of big names through, making for a mouth-watering tournament. A couple of big names did fall by the wayside though, perhaps most notably Zbiderman Eggwe. Wonder if that's gonna sew seeds of doubt amongst the other Eggwes. Not a greta start for them.

Round 2 draw coming up.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Girth on that was spotted training near Luton, a picture of him practicing his dung hoist was tweeted before he ate the person taking a picture. Glad to see the picture didn't give much away to his opponant.