World's oldest woman wishes she was dead

[biggytitbo]

https://metro.co.uk/2018/05/16/worlds-oldest-woman-says-never-lived-happy-day-128-years-7550385/

The 'world's oldest woman' claims to have never lived a happy day in her life. Koku Istambulova is apparently 128 years old so that is a long time to be miserable.

Despite possibly being a record breaker Ms Istambulova, who lives in a village in Chechnya, is not too happy with her life.

I have not had a single happy day in my life,' Ms Istambulova said. 'I have always worked hard, digging in the garden.

I am tired. 'Long life is not at all God's gift for me – but a punishment.  'Looking back at my unhappy life, I wish I had died when I was young.

'And now I am not living, I am just dragging through.'

Inspirational words from this old prune.

[Beagle 2]

She just needs a new challenge, maybe do a bit of Parkour on the weekends, or start up a Minecraft YouTube channel.

[Dr Syntax Head]

She just needs a new challenge, maybe do a bit of Parkour on the weekends, or start up a Minecraft YouTube channel.

Hah!

[Howj Begg]

She doesn't look a day over 115.

[Steven]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGSuWyBvVtI

[Blumf]

Even when they're happy with their life, old folks are getting tired of slowly winding down:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-43957874

He perceived no other option, so 104-year-old scientist David Goodall left his home in Australia and flew across the world to end his life.

The lauded ecologist and botanist did not suffer from a serious illness. But he wished to bring forward his death due to his diminishing independence.

"My abilities have been in decline over the past year or two, my eyesight over the past six years," Dr Goodall told reporters in Switzerland, where he had organised his death.

"I no longer want to continue life. I'm happy to have the chance tomorrow to end it."

[biggytitbo]

She's not 128 either is she, the lying old tart. 98 maybe.

[Alberon]

Even when they're happy with their life, old folks are getting tired of slowly winding down:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-43957874

Old people are often said to be ready to go, but it's not due to having lived a long enough life, but the effects of extreme old age. I've a Great Aunt who's just pushed into her second century and she's hacked off as she can't really do anything anymore.

[FredNurke]

She's not 128 either is she, the lying old tart. 98 maybe.

Almost certainly nowhere near 128, or the longevity tracking nutters would be all over her, stat-loving gerontophiles that they are.

[biggytitbo]

Almost certainly nowhere near 128, or the longevity tracking nutters would be all over her, stat-loving gerontophiles that they are.

They just want to shag her, the dirty old bollocks.

[Sebastian Cobb]

And yet plenty of people go to great lengths to maximise the duration of their steady decline.

[idunnosomename]

lol

[saltysnacks]

That's how I feel at 23.

[FredNurke]

Just another 105 years to go.

[biggytitbo]

38325 days, every one as miserable as the last.

[up_the_hampipe]

I'm certain The Onion have done this story before.

[not friend]

This woman's life is metaphorically like trench warfare.  Each day she is bombarded with another 24 hours of existence, in much the same way that soldiers in the trench were bombarded with shells.

[Sebastian Cobb]

38325 days, every one as miserable as the last.

Incorrect

[Replies From View]

If she wants to die then she should fuck off, I reckon.  Ungrateful.  Give the award to someone who wants it.

[Replies From View]

Almost certainly nowhere near 128, or the longevity tracking nutters would be all over her, stat-loving gerontophiles that they are.

She will clamber over herself to dispute any modern methods of determining age, I tell you that for free.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

What a fucking cunt. When you think of those people who were mown down and raped by the Nazis then the Red Army, to hear that shit from someone who survived all of that is almost unbelievable.

I suppose you have to factor into things that she is an insane bitter old crone who was probably asked that on a bad day and whose utterances should be placed on a par with those noise extractor fans make.

Hope she lives another forty years and by then can only go "arrrgh".

[idunnosomename]

Do you think she'd be happy or annoyed if she was told she is actually only 42?

[Replies From View]

Do you think she'd be happy or annoyed if she was told she is actually only 42?

She almost certainly is only 42.  It's highly improbable that somebody aged 184 or whatever she claims would have only recently started exhibiting back pains as she says.  Plus she would be retired by this point, not waking up every morning at 4 and digging holes.

Tell her she's 42 if you like, but she'll definitely be annoyed by it.  "At least another 142 years of this to go??!" she will screech.

I reckon take her chairs away and see how she likes it.

[Icehaven]

She should have worked at a carwash instead, as I've heard that it's better than digging a ditch.

[Depressed Beyond Tables]

Sounds like she could do with a holiday to Serbia, if you get me.

[Thomas]

Sounds like she could do with a holiday to Serbia, if you get me.

Yes, the Petroland AquaPark in northern Serbia is rated 4.4 out of 5 on Google and ought to lift her spirits.

[Trojan_Jockey]

Despite possibly being a record breaker Ms Istambulova, who lives in a village in Chechnya, is not too happy with her life.

I have not had a single happy day in my life,' Ms Istambulova said. 'I have always worked hard, digging in the garden.

I am tired. 'Long life is not at all God's gift for me – but a punishment.  'Looking back at my unhappy life, I wish I had died when I was young.

'And now I am not living, I am just dragging through.'

But although I may be down right now, at least I never worked for no jews.

[Shit Good Nose]

Has anyone told her she doesn't have to dig holes?

[FredNurke]

You're assuming her home has plumbing.

[Captain Crunch]

I'm sure she'll grow out of it.