What would you most like to see derail the royal wedding?

[Beagle 2]

Keep it clean.

[Genevieve]

A swarm of gnats.  As for what might derail them, I'll have to have a think.

[Cuellar]

Al Qaeda making a triumphant return to form.

[idunnosomename]

Basically just tidal waves of human excrement.

Preferably before they go into St George's Chapel though: as I said it is a good building.

[biggytitbo]

Gotta be some absolute fucking CARNAGE with Phil and a Fiat Uno, leaving Harry and Meg impaled on the 13th column at Windsor Castle.

[Blumf]

A naked Gazza Gascoigne on a ride-on mower with a KFC bucket.

[biggytitbo]

Lock the doors and let a FUCKING MENTAL bear loose.

[bgmnts]

Aliens.

[Brucie Almighty]

I could make my triumphant return to corporeal existence during the ceremony, incinerate everyone in the building with my laser-vision and then take my throne as God-Emperor of Earth.


Though, to be honest, I'm more likely to go Blackpool for some jellied eels.

[SpiderChrist]

Novichock

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Keep it clean.

Children bleeding

[Captain Z]

Noel Edmonds

[Alberon]

Noel Edmonds

Oh yes, someone tell him it's all paid for by Lloyds.

[bgmnts]

Yes please.

[Kelvin]

Like the finale of Dynasty, but with Super Soakers full of rat cum.

[Phoenix Lazarus]

The mike being left on on something really outrageous someone said would be a good one, or someone spiking some of the guests with LSD.

[idunnosomename]

Death rape shit blood cum OH YEAH!!!!!

[Twit 2]

Had a fairly stressful day at work and this thread, poll and posts, is why I absolutely love this place. Most people I work with and know are gushing about this shit show and I am biting my tongue constantly.  Thanks Cab. Thab.

[Fabian Thomsett]

Harry's secret other wife turning up.

[Twed]

quen head fel off

[jobotic]

Bantz Harry says BOOM SMASHED IT as soon as the vows are done and finally, finally people have had enough of this shit and the guests turn on him, ripping him limb from limb.


WHICH ONE OF YOU BITCHES IS MY FATHER?




These lads enter the church and do this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eakKfY5aHmY

[seepage]

condemned pork, & English "sparkling wine"

[petril]

radio output interrupted by a loop of Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence, The Last Stand and Songbird by Kenny Bastarding G because Liz has the best possible reason for not turning up

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Everyone vomiting and shitting themselves

PPLLLLLEEEEEEEEEUUUURRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


The whole nation purging ourselves of this virus

[Quote]

Wasps' nest falls onto Queen's hat. Cue frantic, panicked arm-waving, running-in-circles & yelping from The Cunt of Death...

Prince Phillip laughs uproariously, puttting his back out, as Charles attempts to intervene on behalf of his mother. Sadly he only succeeds in further enraging the swarm, before being chased away by angry wasps. Eventually the Queen's chief flunky attempts to knock the hat from the Royal head, but only succeeds in twatting her Majesty 'round the ear hole. Eventually it falls off her head of it's own accord (possibly due to the frantic and undignified ducking and weaving Liz was forced into) and a quick-thinking female attendee attempts to stamp the hat/nest into oblivion, but only succeeds in being publically and painfully stung beneath the skirt and in the general vaginal area.

All the while this comical charade is going on Jonathon Dimbleby and Nicholas Witchell witter on sycophantically, attempting the make the Royals look dignified and decent as opposed to a bunch of useless upper class twats being terrorised by wasps.

Also, several hours later it emerges that Prince George is incredibly allergic to wasp stings - his whole head is so hideously bloated and deformed he resembles a miniature elephant man, his repulsive visage forever ruining the happy couple's wedding photos.

[biggytitbo]

An annoying chaffinch.

[poo]

Clowne

[jobotic]

Spotting Witchall standing in front of the crowd, Charles marches up to him at speed and fucking twats him hard, shouting "CUNT!" like off Sexy Beast.

[Fabian Thomsett]

The Royal Family blow up and John Goodman becomes King.

[petril]

a sobbing Harry who's just realised how much they missed out on by letting it go out on the BBC instead of pay per view