The last time someone swore at you?

[Fry]

When was the last time you were sworn at? I was just called a 'prick' by a customer who was angry we didn't supply maps of the local area (?????) when he bought his car. My helpful suggestion that he can solve this issue by "buying a map at a shop" or "using his phone" was met anger and indignation.

How about you?

[Neville Chamberlain]

My wife called me a "fucking idiot" just this morning :-(

[king_tubby]

Someone in a car called me a 'wanker' yesterday as they overtook me whilst I was cycling home.

[saltysnacks]

I've never had the pleasure.

[bgmnts]

My reflection called me a fat cunt.

Pot, kettle.

[Paul Calf]

My reflection called me a fat cunt.

Pot, kettle.

Mine does that.

Something Must Be Done.

[Kane Jones]

Why, only last night!

"Eat his cum out of my cunt, you small-dick, piece of shit cuck."

[SpiderChrist]

I was recently called a fucking knobhead. Jesus it got me so hard, a cat couldn't scratch it.

[Danger Man]

My wife called me a "fucking idiot" just this morning :-(

I hope you slapped the cunt and reminded her who is wearing the trousers in your relationship talked through your feelings for each other and found common ground.

Last time for me? Last week somebody said I looked like a nonce, does that count? (And no, Steven, it wasn't my wife. For once)

[king_tubby]

Do you look like a nonce?

[Danger Man]

Opinion be divided....

[Neville Chamberlain]

slapped the cunt and reminded her who is wearing the trousers in your relationship

The joke would be on me, though, because she well and truly wears the trousers in our relationship. I'm just a sort of addendum, a make-weight, a human dead-end.

[Captain Z]

When I accidentally followed a taxi through a pedestrian crossing while the lights were red.

[kittens]

probably doing trains. angry london commuters calling me a fucking cunt. if they did it 3 times i was allowed to hang up which always felt fucking wicked. guaranteed it made them like five times angrier as well, so they would call back in a bigger rage for some other poor sucker in the call centre to deal with

[biggytitbo]

"Fuck off you ugly bald cunt" was a pretty shocking thing to hear from Bishop of Leeds but that's the modern clergy for you.

[Blinder Data]

When I accidentally followed a taxi through a pedestrian crossing while the lights were red.

I laughed.

[pancreas]

"Fuck off you ugly bald cunt" was a pretty shocking thing to hear from Bishop of Leeds but that's the modern clergy for you.

If you're looking for politeness, my advice is not to turn up to the cathedral naked and covered with pentagrams written in cow blood.

[Gregory Torso]

Usually it's me who does swearing in a language they won't know, I can do English or Cantonese, dependent on scene and mood. Nothing useful in Chinese though, can't ask directions to the nearest supermarket, but can wish for eight generations of your family to be laid out dead in the streets. Don't know how to say "excuse me", but know how to say "fuck your mothers old cunt". Such is life.

Anyway, one time I had been to Morrison's to buy a single sachet of casserole powder and was walking home when three kids went by on bikes, the leader shouting "he's just had a wank!" indicating me, the lesser cycling child thugs giggling in agreement. Shows how much kids know. I'd had a wank ages before that, and would have one again, but in that moment I only thought of the casserole, the poor fucked casserole without its sauce going to frogshit on the stove as my flatmate hissed at the sight of it. I hope this answers the question. Thanks for reading.

[Steven]

If you're looking for politeness, my advice is not to turn up to the cathedral naked and covered with pentagrams written in cow blood.

It's always embarrassing when you turn up to the party wearing the same thing, isn't it?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

"die today gargoyle"
"Pus-adjacent cunt"
"Bald tedium prolonger"
"Load-bearing rectum"
"Moribund twat"
"The apex of all that is fucking shit"

I get it all in Complaints.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Colleague called me a bastard today for having the last piece of fish out the canteen.

[Attila]

"Load-bearing rectum"

Adding that one to my repertoire.

[Vodka Margarine]

I was never verbally abused by complete strangers more - before or since - than when I cycled to work every day. We're talking last five years here - post Wiggins, Hoy and Froome, post Olympic glory gubbins, post designated cycle lanes everywhere, post more people than ever choosing bikes over cars and what have you. It's never been more socially acceptable, commonplace or safe to be a serial pedaller, yet still the insults came thick and fast. The time I tried meekly to get past a group of Legend Garys completely blocking a narrow old street as they ambled six or seven abreast almost completely put me off cycling for life.

[Captain Poodle Basher]

About a fortnight ago.

A wino was being escorted off the premises of my local supermarket by security after he'd tried to steal some cans of cider. I wandered past, minding my own business when the wino tried to shake off the security guard's grip on his shoulder and screamed "You fucking bastard!" in my face. I just smiled at him and carried on my way.

[itsfredtitmus]

put teddy on skip

[Steven]

A wino was being escorted off the premises of my local supermarket by security after he'd tried to steal some cans of cider. I wandered past, minding my own business when the wino tried to shake off the security guard's grip on his shoulder and screamed "You fucking bastard!" in my face. I just smiled at him and carried on my way.

"See you later, Dad."

[BlodwynPig]

In person, maybe only three times in my life. And none referred to my weight, height or baldness. My wife calls me a bald ginger leprechaun fatty though, but that is just pillow talk.

[Johnny Yesno]

[tag]Fuck off Fry[/tag]