The best ever wedding that is happening tomorrow in a place called England

[BritishHobo]

That's right, it's the one I'm going to.

I think the best thing about the best ever wedding that is happening tomorrow in a place called England is that much like the second best ever wedding happening tomorrow in a place called England, it is the union of two families of which I am a part of neither, but unlike the second best ever wedding happening tomorrow in a place called England, the family person I am linked to is a significant part of the proceedings, which means I get to spend the day utilising my incredible social skills amongst people I do not know, alone. I mean, just imagine chatting to a straggler at a family wedding, and he talks like how this post is written. Unbearable.

Anyway the best thing about me is everyone tells me everything, and a heck of a lot of people here have a heck of a lot of genuinely tense and personal grievances with a heck of a lot of other people here, all of which is being told to me by ALL OF THEM. I am a fan of the people getting married at this here best ever wedding,  I wish them a fantastic day, and any sneering or undermining off the sincerity of that that may come off of this post could not be further from the truth; but boy howdy is my social awkwardness currently having a weekend in the sun.

Anyway I'm currently hiding in the guest bedroom of someone's house because making small talk with someone I'm not sure likes me is what Hell will be like for me when I probably die tomorrow.

Come along to the best ever wedding happening tomorrow in a place called England. WE LIKE HOMELESS PEOPLE AT THIS ONE

[Zero Gravitas]

Will there be dancing? I feel having dancing at a wedding cheapens it. I'm not coming if there is to be dancing.

[bgmnts]

Any single bridesmaids?

[BritishHobo]

Will there be dancing? I feel having dancing at a wedding cheapens it. I'm not coming if there is to be dancing.

I fucking think there is, and all. I don't know if it shows from the fact that I have to write a three paragraph CaB essay because I'm going to a social event, but I am too self-conscious to do a dancing.

[Phoenix Lazarus]

Do you have a band coming to play at the reception?  If so, it'd be cool if they played a song like Peaches, by the Stranglers, like in that advert about a dozen to fifteen years ago, instead of middle-of-the-road bollox.

[BritishHobo]

It'd be cool if they played Peaches by The Presidents of the USA, cos I know that one

[Icehaven]

It'd be cool if they played Fuck the Pain Away by Peaches.

[Dex Sawash]

Stranglers Peaches > PotUSA Peaches