Times you've just gone "mate" - gaming edition

[madhair60]

Xenoblade 2 is absolutely full of Mates.

Cancel Japan

[Consignia]

When playing through Final Fantasy VII with a friend during the Summer of 1998, we finally made it to the Northern crater, to face off against the almighty Sephiroth.  As we made our way towards the final showdown, we encountered a Magic Pot enemy.  The pot demanded to be fed an elixir.  My friend, who was holding the controller at that point, was reluctant to acquiesce to its demands but I insisted that he obey the Magic Pot because surely there would be a grand reward for doing so.  My friend followed my advice.

Having slurped the precious elixir down its gullet, the Magic Pot then asked for another elixir and my friend said we should simply kill the abomination of nature at this point and move on but once again, I insisted upon meeting the ceramic beast's demands, as the prize for our generosity would surely be fit for a king.  Upon my recommendation and through my friend's gritted teeth and protests, we fed all of our carefully stockpiled elixirs to the greedy Magic Pot.  It was at this point that the terrible realisation kicked in; there was to be no worthwhile prize offered in return.  A lack of rejuvenating elixirs meant that we failed to destroy Sephiroth that day.  We did however, come close to destroying our friendship.

Mate.

To be fair, you weren't completely on the wrong track. If it mends your relationship, you did need to give the Magic Pot an elixir to gain the shit ton of experience they give you for killing them.

It would be a great divorce reason: " the other party gave all way healing items before final boss". Not a court the land could disagree on those grounds.

[Kryton]

Having to get a fork-lift job in one of the Shenmue games.

Mate.

[bgmnts]

The crate carrying job was worse.

[Consignia]

I was playing that recent Yakuza game, and there's a bunch of internet cafes. Turns out that they are just to house a mini game which involves you web chatting to cam girls. The better you do, the raunchier it gets. And these are real porn actors as well, not some CGI scene. The only saving grace is Kiryu is absolutely po-faced and serious throughout the entire affair.

On the flip-side, later there's a mini game where you have to play whoopise-daisy with Kiryu's surrogate grandson, which is charming and amusing which almost forgives the earlier sleaziness.

[St_Eddie]

To be fair, you weren't completely on the wrong track. If it mends your relationship, you did need to give the Magic Pot an elixir to gain the shit ton of experience they give you for killing them.

My friend was right then; we should have killed the Magic Pot after feeding it a single elixir.  The world was destroyed by Meteor and it's all my fault!

Having to get a fork-lift job in one of the Shenmue games.

Mate.

I thoroughly enjoyed that section of the game but that's because I'm unemployed and play videogames as a means of escapism.  Stacking crates in real-life?  A man can only dream...

[The Culture Bunker]

Barry: That was too close! You were almost a Jill sandwich!

Mind, I did enjoy them referencing that in Resident Evil Revelations 2, where you play as Claire Redfield and Barry's estranged daughter.

"I was almost a Claire sandwich!"
"Urgh. Does Barry tell everybody that story?"

[Golden E. Pump]

The fucking RC side missions in GTA: San Andreas.

[Kryton]

Mate.

[Blue Jam]

The Deus Ex: Mankind Divided cutscene of Adam Jensen in the shower- who came up with that idea, Gordon Ramsay? Also any time a female NPC flirts with him in DX:MD or Human Revolution, even if she is a prostitute.

I may be biased here because he looks a bit like a thin cyborg version of my crap ex-boss and therefore reminds me of my last job where I had an utterly miserable time, but still... Adam Jensen, ladies? That gruff-voiced cunt? Mate.

[Phil_A]

Mate.

It was a pretty weird idea to put a cameo by Michael Portillo in an eighties arcade beat-em-up, I agree.

[bgmnts]

The Deus Ex: Mankind Divided cutscene of Adam Jensen in the shower- who came up with that idea, Gordon Ramsay? Also any time a female NPC flirts with him in DX:MD or Human Revolution, even if she is a prostitute.

I may be biased here because he looks a bit like a thin cyborg version of my crap ex-boss and therefore reminds me of my last job where I had an utterly miserable time, but still... Adam Jensen, ladies? That gruff-voiced cunt? Mate.

He didnt even ask for it.

[Blue Jam]

He didnt even ask for it.

In DX:HR, if you hack one of the computers in the Picus News offices you can find an email from one staff member perving over their new colleague and his fantastic arse... and of course he and his colleagues and his fantastic arse have all fled the office before Jensen arrives. Spoilsports.

In Prey you can catch your PA perving over you, and it doesn't matter if you play as male Morgan or female Morgan because your PA is bisexual. Both Morgans are better-looking, though.

[bgmnts]

In DX:HR, if you hack one of the computers in the Picus News offices you can find an email from one staff member perving over their new colleague and his fantastic arse... and of course he and his colleagues and his fantastic arse have all fled the office before Jensen arrives. Spoilsports.

In Prey you can catch your PA perving over you, and it doesn't matter if you play as male Morgan or female Morgan because your PA is bisexual. Both Morgans are better-looking, though.

Aye indeed you can.

DH as a series prides itself on its vast amount of choice but why can't I upgrade my cyber cock in thr game eh? Dropped the ball(s) there.

[St_Eddie]

Who the fuck put my Father in a videogame?!

[AsparagusTrevor]

Mate.

Apparently 'Bad Dudes' did President Schwarzenegger before The Simpsons.

[Golden E. Pump]

Is that John 'Bradshaw' Layfield?

[Blue Jam]

Aye indeed you can.

DH as a series prides itself on its vast amount of choice but why can't I upgrade my cyber cock in thr game eh? Dropped the ball(s) there.

I'd want machine gun norks, like those women in Austin Powers.

There is some robocock discussion on the Deus Ex subreddit, but you really don't want to go down that rabbit hole...

[monolith]

Rock, Paper, Scissors in Alex Kidd.

Mate.

[St_Eddie]

Rock, Paper, Scissors in Alex Kidd.

Mate.

Ah, yes.  Good call.  That's some terrible game design, right there.  It's as terrible as the pun that I'm about to make, I Kidd you not.

[bgmnts]

https://www.eurogamer.net/amp/2018-05-25-valve-steam-school-shooting-game


Mate.

[asids]

Revived Games' credits include White Power: Pure Voltage and Dab, Dance & Twerk.

[bgmnts]

From the Steam page for that title.

Wankings National Laboratory is a federal complex located in Wankings, Indiana.

[Ferris]

All of the dialogue on all of the House of the Dead games.

Pure mate.

[asids]

All of the dialogue on all of the House of the Dead games.

Pure mate.

Don't say that. You don't want to suffer like G did.

[St_Eddie]

Don't say that. You don't want to suffer like G did.

Haha.  I was just about to quote that same line.

[Ferris]

"M-my friends went inside, but they're not back yet. I told them not to go!"

Mate.

[Mobius]

That bit in Heavy Rain where you run about just shouting "Justin"

Edit - Jason not Justin but it's still rubbish.

[Ferris]

That bit in Heavy Rain where you run about just shouting "Justin"

It's "Jason". Mate.

[Z]

That bit in Heavy Rain where you run about just shouting "Justin"

Edit - Jason not Justin but it's still rubbish.

That's not even in my top 5 of Heavy Rain

1. The twist
2. The sex scene
3. The realisation that the shower scene is a dream and therefore was extra unnecessary
4. Meeting the only black character in the game
5. The shower scene