Are Harry and Meghan sexing right this very instant?

[Better Midlands]

It's all very awkward, he's been cucking his brother with Middleton for years - it's the Hewitt genes you see.

[biggytitbo]

Not at it right now, but they are 'sexting', if this EXCLUSIVE! pic is anything to go by!

Right to left, the 3 stages of baldness.

[RoadMaintenanceTycoon]

old queenie can hear them through the walls and is cranking up the volume on mrs brown as we speak

[Glebe]

When they finally enter the conjugal chamber, a live feed will will show their bodies melding into a kind of asexual, morphing, psychedelic, glowing multidimensional entity, as this plays.

[jobotic]

No need, I'll tell them now. She's a girl and he's a boy.

[saltysnacks]

I find it amusing that people think Hewitt is actually Harry's father, he looks more like Charles than William does.

[Custard]

I wonder if he'll rub his spunky willy on the royal curtains before he dozes off

[up_the_hampipe]

I find it amusing that people think Hewitt is actually Harry's father, he looks more like Charles than William does.

Hewitt is his dad and that's that.

[Vodka Margarine]

I find it amusing that people think Hewitt is actually Harry's father, he looks more like Charles than William does.

Yeah, the "Hewitt is Harry's real dad" thing is so deliciously good as an imagined reality that it's passed into modern folklore, despite being nonsense of the highest order. See also Bob Holness playing sax on 'Baker Street' and the aforementioned Marc Almond's alleged bellyful of human and animal spoogle.

[Alberon]

The truth is much worse. Charles is the dad, but Hewitt is Bantz's mum.

[Replies From View]

See also Bob Holness playing sax on 'Baker Street'

It was Bond Street wasn't it.

[Bhazor]

Remember that bit in Audition with the dog bowl. That. That's what they're doing right now.

[Glebe]

They're rolling around on the floor with Umphla-Gee.

[greenman]

When they finally enter the conjugal chamber, a live feed will will show their bodies melding into a kind of asexual, morphing, psychedelic, glowing multidimensional entity, as this plays.

Choose the form of the destructor.

[idunnosomename]

Speeches we will never hear left people in tears. They had a secret party at Frogmore with the Clooneys, Oprah and someone else famous.

I wonder what mega posh parties are like. Can you just still like bring your own tinnies, play with the cat, and hang out in the kitchen?

[BlodwynPig]

They are having they're cake and eating it. If you want a monarchy, do so, but don't merge plebdom with kingdom...stay aloof, unreachable, 'mysterious'. By consorting with plebs and Corden, Blunt and Clooney, you are saying "we are one of you"...you being lower middle-class braying women who approximate Princess Eugenie at Ascot but have no class or distinction apart from their sneering and screeching.

Yes, newspapers, it was a watermark moment for change...but don't weep crocodile tears when Bantz Junior appears on Jeremy Kyle or Tracksuited royals are seen cavorting with rappers through palace windows.

[biggytitbo]

The most interesting thing about yesterday is that Harry is 6th in line to the throne.

[BlodwynPig]

The royals came out of it looking pretty good compared to the fawning narcissists we have the misfortune to share our nationality with.

[Glebe]

Choose the form of the destructor.

So they're bringing toys into it, eh?

[bgmnts]

No fucking.

http://uk.reuters.com/article/uk-britain-royals-wedding/back-to-work-prince-harry-and-meghan-to-delay-honeymoon-idUKKCN1IL0GM


Back to 'work' apparently....

[biggytitbo]

They could maybe fit in a bit of fingering though?

[bgmnts]

Maybe if we're all lucky the entire royal gang will pull a surprise train on our Meghan.

[greenman]

So they're bringing toys into it, eh?

Many Corbynites knew what is was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day I can tell you.

[Glebe]

They may be delaying the official 'honeymoon', but they'll be making time for a quick one round the back of the Palace tonight, I can tell you!

[Barry Admin]

I managed to miss all of this, and all of the fucking football. Except when I got into town, there was some god-awful woman singing "Hallelujah", which is just fucking depressing to hear at 10am on a Saturday morning. Then some bloke a couple of streets down was singing the same dreary, over-rated song. We moved to the next street only to be greeted by a group of absolute bastards playing "Hallelujah" on fucking pan pipes.

From this, I'd guess the wedding of these two turds contained the frankly dreadful song "Hallelujah" at some point in its proceedings. Hang them all.

[Replies From View]

The most interesting thing about yesterday is that Harry is 6th in line to the throne.

That means he could still get in if it came down to a dice roll.

(Unrelatedly, he usually does roll a dice to determine whether he will get in.  1 means no, 6 means yes, and the numbers 2 to 5 follow the natural gradient from no to yes.)

[Paul Calf]

I managed to miss all of this, and all of the fucking football. Except when I got into town, there was some god-awful woman singing "Hallelujah", which is just fucking depressing to hear at 10am on a Saturday morning. Then some bloke a couple of streets down was singing the same dreary, over-rated song. We moved to the next street only to be greeted by a group of absolute bastards playing "Hallelujah" on fucking pan pipes.

From this, I'd guess the wedding of these two turds contained the frankly dreadful song "Hallelujah" at some point in its proceedings. Hang them all.

It's actually a very beautiful song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrLk4vdY28Q

But whatever you filter through layers of crusty, steaming turd is going to taste like shit even if it's 28-your Lagavulin.

[BlodwynPig]

You soppy bastard, it's a dirge. Horrible.

[idunnosomename]

Brilliant song, sorry. Also bonus for telling you the chord progression in the first verse

Also no, they did Stand By Me? And some other good music? Classical songs, Vaughan Williams. What you'd expect in St George's, anyway.

[BlodwynPig]

One man's dirge is another Duke's fluffer soundtrack