Overheard gems

[Twed]

I think there is already a thread for this sort of thing, and I'm sorry I can't find it. However, I was just floored by a stranger uttering these words casually and I have to share it:

He doesn't do anything anymore, just stays at home. I bet he spends his time searching for pictures of women modeling summer hats on Amazon to jerk off to.

I... what? How normalized has this become to the speaker that they think they can present it as archetypical behaviour? Everybody listening will realise that he, the speaker does that, with maybe the detail changed from tank tops to hats.

The specificity of summer hats is the best part.

[non capisco]

It's nice to know that in an age saturated by hardcore internet pornography there are still people who rub one out to the online equivalent of mum's Freemans catalogue.

[bgmnts]

Yeah honestly its actually quite sweet and endearing.

[Twed]

It gives me hope.

Overheard in a Dunkin' Donuts btw. Little bit of scene-setting for you.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

It's nice to know that in an age saturated by hardcore internet pornography there are still people who rub one out to the online equivalent of mum's Freemans catalogue.

Would definitely recommend it as a change up

[Twed]

Oh no I wrote overhead instead of overheard post titles can be edited fuckwad

[Andy147]

I mentally inserted an "r" into the original title anyway.

I read it as "overhead germs".

[mothman]

^ I saw it and thought, here we go, now some self-appointed wit is going to go and create one of those oh-so-hilarious spinoff threads called "Overhead germs."

[falafel]

I... don't think it was meant to be presented as archetypical? More deliberately absurd and tragic in that small, domestic way. The nature of the original speaker determines the odds of that, I suppose.

Like

I bet she stays in bed and frigs herself off to cat pictures on the pets@home website

I bet he spends all day looking at ideas for novelty tea cosies on Pinterest

I bet they spend all their time together looking up bus holidays to Torbay and never booking them

[Twed]

A good theory but rendered irrelevant due to the speaker being American and therefore unable to verbalize anything that doesn't reference a concrete thing.

[St_Eddie]

Oh no I wrote overhead instead of overheard post titles can be edited fuckwad

...and to think, I was going to post about my extortionate overheads and how I could use a gem or two, in order to cover my debts.  Instead, I'll just suffer in silence.  Gitaroo, man!

[biggytitbo]

Just after new year I heard some woman on the train telling her friend about this bloke at a new years eve party whose party trick was to hang himself and get someone to cut him down just before he passed out, a trick he apperently did a few times on the night. She was remarkably casual about describing this whilst I was more ' ...Pardon?!'

[QDRPHNC]

"Going to rehab this year?"
"Nah."

[Steven]

Just after new year I heard some woman on the train telling her friend about this bloke at a new years eve party whose party trick was to hang himself and get someone to cut him down just before he passed out, a trick he apperently did a few times on the night. She was remarkably casual about describing this whilst I was more ' ...Pardon?!'