The Knowledge of All Geese.

[Glebe]

After centuries of learning, I have finally acquired the Knowledge of All Geese.

So how did it start?

Well, I was on holiday in the Seychelles - it's lovely this time of year! - when a wise old druid handed me a guidebook of lesser-known ganders. Suffice to say, I went straight back to my hotel room on the instant, and read up as much as I could about all things goose-related; while the others were having fun on the beach, I was sitting in my room, swatting up on farm birds, like a right fucking muggins!

But in the end, it was all worth it; for, as I graduate from the Hall of Geese today, I toss my hat in the air, and cry, "O yea, O yea, for 'tis good to be a goose-scholar!"

[popcorn]

Is it true that what's good for the gander etc?

[Glebe]

Is it true that what's good for the gander etc?

I refer you to Professor Goose, Wither are the Gander? (Gosling Press, 1983), pp37 note 1; "What is good for the goose does indeed seem right for the gander, in my humble experience."

[thraxx]

Geese are for cunts mate, shite. Find out about swans mate pure class they are.

[Mr Eggs]

I refer you to Professor Goose, Wither are the Gander? (Gosling Press, 1983), pp37 note 1; "What is good for the goose does indeed seem right for the gander, in my humble experience."

Is this legal. Like ROCK SOLID?

[Glebe]

Is this legal. Like ROCK SOLID?

Things what are 'good' for the goose being 'good' for the gander has been legal in Britain since 1967. Before that, ganders had to sneak around the local park speaking polari if they fancied a bit of cottaging.

[Mr Eggs]

You fucking chuck some goose polari at the chief druid and see what happens. Seychelles or not.

[BlodwynPig]

Fois gras is welsh for four geese

[Mr Eggs]

^He's on the Humane Society Of Canada's watch list

[BlodwynPig]

There was a Canadian goose freshly back in Canada that I would see daily on my way to work at the end of winter. The poor sod was stubbonly sitting in a puddle of mud exposed to the icy winds. I reckon he was waiting for his colleagues to make it over from Europe. They had all died. Silly goose.

Idiot.

[Gregory Torso]

Well, Glebe, you may claim to be a bit of a goose buff but did you know these three interesting pieces of goose knowledge?...

1. A "gosling" is a baby geese, as well as a sometimes surname. Ryan Gosling, perhaps the most famous of human goslings, actually had no idea that he shared a name with an infant waterfowl until someone threw an egg at him on the set of Drive and shouting "hatch out of this, you baby goose bastard!"


2. "Genderfluid" is a term used to describe someone with indefinite lines between gender, perhaps identifying as both boy and girl. "Gander fluid" however, is something very different and quite revolting.


3. Finally, a popular palindrome is "Do geese see God?" ... I highly doubt it. If any creature is in the employ of Satan, it is the goose.

[canadagoose]

Is this what geese look like in Ireland? What happened to their necks?!

[Huxleys Babkins]

FOUR GREAT GOOSE FACTS FOR YOU ALL;

1) A collective of geese is called a "fluck", an amalgamation of "flock" and "oh, fuck, those geese are hissing at me!"

2) Geese communicate with honking. They are so good as it that legendary car builder Henry Ford insisted on shipping a live goose with every Model T in place of a horn. "You can have it in any colour as long as it's black and don't mind it covered in goose shit", he quipped.

3) To pinch a person's bottom is often referred to as "goosing" as geese are notorious perverts.

4) Goose eggs are large, hollow and made of chocolate, making them perfect for Easter time. Geese, however, are born Jewish and refuse to give up their eggs in celebration of Christ.

[spamwangler]

well its about time they made it official Glebe (though i guess at this point its just a formality)

really proud of you!

[Glebe]

Some excellent information there, guys... I see I'm not the only one learned in the ways of the gander!

Is this what geese look like in Ireland? What happened to their necks?!

Years of British oppression. Years of British oppression.

That's all for now, but, before I go... believe in yourself, and TO THINE OWN GOOSE BE TRUE!

[hamfist]

is this a sequel to ,,The Sum of all Fears" ?

[Glebe]

is this a sequel to ,,The Sum of all Fears" ?

Yes. Yes, it is.

[spamwangler]

saw baby canada geese today, and also saw another, unchilded goose having a right go at a duck.

i gave him a piece of my mind i can tell you!

[Huxleys Babkins]

They do prefer bread.

[popcorn]

How many geese are there about?

[Glebe]

How many geese are there about?

12.