Talking about Monty Python's The Meaning of Life

[yesitsme]

Could be a thing for the 'Obvious things' but in the Architecht Sketch it took me ages to work out that John Cleese wasn't calling everyone else in the room a bunch of 'black balding bastards'.

Having never seen the sketch the mental image did strike me as very odd indeed.

[Delete Delete Delete]

Thought I'd repost this from the (spam) Project thread. As he mentions The Meaning of Life in it.

As promised, John Cleeses interview with The Face magazine.



c

[Revelator]

Many thanks Delete Delete Delete! (I feel like I should have written "thanks" twice more.) "Either people walk around as chickens or they listen to Beethoven" is a great way of discussing pigeonholing. Pity he never appeared in the Malle film!

[Harold Angryperson]

Good to see some love for Meaning of Life on here, probably the first Python thing I ever saw apart from my brother's copy of the Big Red Bok or And Now For Something Completely Different which used to be on late at night on BBC1 or Channel 4, usually during the school holidays along with stuff like Rentadick and Steptoe and Son Ride Again.

Watched the whole thing again recently - it's easily the most visually impressive of their films and I don't understand folk who say it's not funny or not up to scratch when you've got stuff like Gilliam playin a Jewish Rastafarian with a Hitler 'tache in a throwaway role (before surrendering his liver), the conversation about bloody Catholics, black mambos, French ticklers and crocodile ribs, "Learning the piano?!", Mr Creosote and the cleaning woman's poem about her quest for knowledge, the Zulu uprising stuff with Idle missing a leg and the weirdos in the tiger skin which comes across as a proper bit of absurdist music hall cross-talk... and you've got the Crimson Permanent Assurance. Can't get my head round the fact that some folk fast forward past that to get to the 'proper film' as it sets the mood perfectly.

[Shaky]

and you've got the Crimson Permanent Assurance. Can't get my head round the fact that some folk fast forward past that to get to the 'proper film' as it sets the mood perfectly.

Yeah, I love CPA (such a lovely, anarchic idea well-executed) but it's essential for the simple fact it makes a reappearance in the main film.

[Revelator]

The DVD from 2004 or so had two unused sketches on it in pdf form

I finally got around to popping the Meaning of Life into my computer to access those unused sketches. Here's the first--the second will follow shortly.

***

RAF PIPES

A BOMBER COMMAND AIRFIELD, SOMEWHERE IN NORFOLK. APRIL 1942.
RAF STIRRING MUSIC.

Interior Officers' Mess.
RAF TYPES sitting around all look identical – smoking pipes.

FADE MUSIC.
After a bit of quiet puffing MONTAGUE speaks.

Montague: I don't think this is my pipe.

Cadogan: No, this doesn't feel like my pipe...

Montague: (to Cadogan) Is this your pipe, Archie?

Cadogan sticks MONTAGUE'S pipe in his mouth.

Cadogan: No, I don't think so...(he hands it back to Montague) What about you Wally...is that your pipe you're smoking?

"Wally" Wallerson: I don't know, old chum, just picked it up...

Montague: Could be Archie's...

Cadogan: Can I have a suck, Wally...

"Wally": Absolutely ... go ahead...

WALLY and CADOGAN swap pipes. CADOGAN sucks.

Cadogan: No... this tastes more like yours Basil...

Montague: Give us a go... (he takes it) Mm ... yes .. this is mine alright...

He gives CADOGAN back the pipe he's got.

"Wally": Well you've probably got mine, Basil...

BASIL'S pipe is handed over to WALLY. WALLY pulls on it for a bit.

"Wally": No this feels more like Jack's pipe... Jacko...is that your pipe...?

"Jack" Jolson: Yes...this is mine alright. The old and trusted briar. Been everywhere with me this...used to be my father's, before that it was Disraeli's and before that it belonged to some Scottish poet chap...Damn good briar... A real friend... Mascot really... D'you know if I couldn't feel this little chap in the trouser pocket I don't think I'd be able to drop bombs at all.

Cadogan: Can I have a feel of it, Jacko?

Jacko hands it over.

Cadogan: Yes...this is mine...alright... Unmistakable – This must be yours then Jacko...

Jacko: Oh yes...that's more like it...thanks...

ANOTHER AIRMAN comes in... Greetings all round.

All: Hello...Spotter!

"Spotter Spottiswood": Hello...Pin...Ticker...Noggin...Opoe...Zimbal...Ting...

Montague: (noticing that Spotter's having a little trouble with diction) Trouble with the old serving hatch, Spotter?

"Spotter": Yes, some blighter's gone off with my teeth.

All start to get teeth out and start looking at them.

Cadogan: No these are mine alright...recognise the bit of cake on that incisor...

Jacko: Mm... try these ... Spotter

SPOTTER puts JACKO'S teeth in his mouth and takes them out again.

Spotter: No .. no .. too big...

He hands them back. Suddenly a WINGCO bursts in.

Wingco: Chaps! Something rather big's come up ... Any of you know where the M.O. is?

Cadogan: Yes in No.2 hut ... shaving...

Montague: Poor old Wingco...

Cadogan: Some chaps'd be jolly glad of it.

Spotter: Archie?... Archie, forgive me for asking but... is that my leg...?

Cadogan: Don't think so ... it was by my bed...

Montague: Let me just –

CUT TO A SIREN GOING OUT ON THE AIRFIELD.
P/A Crackles: "SCRAMBLE! SCRAMBLE!"
The MEN race out, but they each have wrong legs on, giving a certain comedic visual effect.

[Revelator]

And here's the other deleted Meaning of Life sketch that was included on the DVD-Rom:

THE MIDDLE OF THE FILM

HUGE TITLES: "THE MIDDLE OF THE FILM"
CRASHING MUSIC...CRESCENDO AND FADE.
REVEAL LADY PRESENTER AT DESK WITH FLOWERS.

Presenter: Hello...and welcome to the middle of the film. This is the bit halfway through the film equidistant from beginning and end, or as near as makes no difference, when we take time off to discuss your personal and private problems. To often the film industry is accused of irresponsibility or just not caring, but in this film we have the services of an international panel of stars who have consented to give their services and advice totally free.

And first of all I have a card from someone who simply signs themselves... Frustrated, Row H. Don't all turn round please... These problems are confidential and will be treated as such.
Well, Frustrated writes.."I am a Crewe Alexandra supporter and have been for 16 years. During this whole period I have never slept with anyone apart from my wife. Then 2 nights ago, after an office party at which we all had a little too much, I gave up supporting Crewe. Now I feel guilty and sweat a lot, what do you recommend?"

Well, Frustrated, as you know we have a panel of highly paid, highly respected members of the cinema industry who have consented to give their advice and services quite free, but obviously I can't expect highly paid actors or directors to be at all interested in a piffling little problem like yours.

Here's another one that comes from a couple in Row Z. And their problem is quite a simple one. They write... "In many cinemas today the air is very hot, but also very dry, and both of us...names supplied... find that we develop an ugly red rash during the cinema going process which can be painful and embarrassing...We have been told it's all psychological ...Others say we should sit further forward ... What does the international panel think?"

Well, first we went to New Mexico to talk to Clint Eastwood (Robert Redford) about this.

Clint Eastwood (or Robert Redford): Well I was very sorry to hear that these two have a problem with the heating in the cinemas. All I can say is -

V/O: Five minutes Mr Eastwood.

Clint Eastwood: - that all the buildings are different , and if the heating system at their local cinema is problematic, perhaps the answer is to try another cinema where they may find the temperature control more satisfactory.

Presenter: Sean Connery in Hollywood.

Sean Connery: Well no-one likes to have a rash. They can be irritating and embarrassing, and obviously if it interferes with their cinema going, its bad for us, it's bad for them and it's bad for the seats. I would suggest that they spoke to the assistant manager of the cinema (not the manager, obviously because he'll be very busy) speak to the assistant manager and ask if there is a heating duct or a radiator of any kind near to Row Z. If indeed there is, then our friends could perhaps move away. But if it's a thermostat controlling the entire theatre area, then this should be examined by the assistant manager to make sure it's operating efficiently and not causing discomfort owing to a fault in the equipment.

Presenter: Thank you Sean, good advice there. Now to Switzerland where Julie Andrews gives her advice.

Julie Andrews: I agree with Sean. If there is a recurrent skin problem, and God knows none of us enjoy having a skin rash, if these people are regular patrons then I think they should put their heads together with the assistant manager (and I agree with Sean, don't bother the manager himself over a problem like this) and try and work something out together. Believe me I know the problem. When I was filming the Sound of Music I had a red –

Presenter: Thank you Julie, Sean and Clint. I hope that solves the problems of Ken and Julia.

Well, we're almost at an end of the Middle of the Film now, and time for Screen Test – this is the moment when we the film makers throw ours screens open to you the public and invite you to come and display your talents on the big silver screen alongside some of your great heroes. Our first entrant is Mr Kirby from Harrogate and he does bird imitations.

Still photo of MR KIRBY

Here he is in a scene with Robert de Niro.

Cut to a steamy deep South farmhouse. Birds chirping. Suddenly the door is smashed and hacked to splinters with an axe. ROBERT DE NIRO stands there.

ROBERT DE NIRO'S lip curls contemptuously as he looks around. He wears old trousers roughly tied up with a belt and a sweat-stained dirty vest. He is sweating profusely.

He glares around, then steps onto the verandah. His eyes narrow. He walks slowly down the steps. He ventures out onto the sun-baked patch in front of the house. He squints his eye against the heat of the sun. Cautiously he looks around the barn, the horses in the corral, the well, the outhouses. Suddenly his eye catches something. He walks stealthily but determinedly towards a water butt – as he gets to it we see a figure crouching behind it. It is MR KIRBY. DE NIRO lifts him bodily up into the air and smashes him with his fist sending him reeling across the farmyard into the water trough. The bird noises stop.

CUT BACK TO THE PRESENTER.

Presenter: Our second young hopeful this evening is Dorothy Wiseman from Highgate.

Photo of a rather plain Jewish girl.

Dorothy's ambition is to appear in a blue film.

CUT TO BLACK & WHITE (8mm). A rather seedy bedroom.

Dorothy: I said a new film ... Really I did! ... Oh! Please! My father works in a bank!

She appears under a mound of heaving flesh.

CUT BACK TO PRESENTER

Presenter: And finally, the Middle of the Film proudly presents Find The Fish, in which we invite you the cinema audience to guess where the fish is in the following scene. If you think you know, don't keep it to yourself – YELL OUT – so that all the cinema can hear.

CUT TO a very strange scene. A MAN with a big bow in his hair is sitting suspended in mid-air by the fire. In the fire is a man crouching doing impressions of fire, quite badly. The WOMAN wears a corset and stockings but her face is blanked up with a white sambo mouth. She is doing Chinese exercises. All the furniture is the wrong size.

Man: I wonder where the fish has gone.

Woman: You did love it so. You looked after it like a son.

Man:(strangely) And it went wherever I did go.

Woman: Is it in the cupboard?

Audience: (on stereo) Yes! No!

Woman: Wouldn't you like to know. It was a lovely little fish.

Man: (strangely) And it went wherever I did go.

Man in Audience: (on stereo) It's in the radio!

During the remainder of the scene with the MAN and the WOMAN, there are continuous shouts from the AUDIENCE: "Look under the table. His trousers! Shut up! I can't hear the film! Go and shout outside! Be quiet. Look, her bag! It's part of the film. No it isn't! Look in the cupboard! Try the fish bowl. Shut up!"

Woman: Where can that fish be?

Man in Audience: Have you thought of the drawers in the bureau?

Woman: It is a most elusive fish.

Man: (strangely) And it went wherever I did go.

Woman: Oh fishy, fishy, fishy, fish.

Man: Fish, fish, fish, fishy oh!

Woman: Oh fishy, fishy, fishy, fish.

Man (strangely) That went wherever I did go.

CUT TO PRESENTER.

Presenter: Well, that's all we have time for from Find The Fish.

Man in Audience: Where is it?

Presenter: In the next Middle of the Film we'll be having another look...

Man in Audience: Where was the fish?

Woman in Audience: Sh!

Man in Audience: I have a right to know!

Woman in Audience: What does it matter where the fish was?

Man in Audience: I just want to know where it was.

General murmurs of agreement from other members of the audience as well as shouts of "Shut up!" and "Sit down!".

Presenter: (continuing oblivious) ...so from me it's toodle-oo! And now on with the film proper!

MUSIC.

Several Members of The Audience: Where was the fish? Where was the fish?

More join in.

Where was the fish? Where was the fish?

Most of the Audience: Where was the fish? Where was the fish?

CUT TO ANIMATION. (OR A LOVE SCENE) The AUDIENCE chanting, however, continues.

[Shaky]

Brilliant, cheers for that! I remembered the RAF stuff but had completely forgotten that the second DVD sketch was also that bit from the shooting script. The idea of celebrities discussing central heating and rashes is quite funny.