Are you worried about bumghasts?

[popcorn]

I'm taking my chances without protection this year.

[Cuellar]

Er...

What is this, 1892? Get a grip mate.

[poo]

A little bit, yeah

[canadagoose]

Yes. Where is best for bumghast insurance?

[pancreas]

Lost a good friend to bumghasts a few years ago. He was rectum deep in faecal necromancy. One time I went to his house and there were white dog shits dancing all over the place, 'washing' dishes and so on. With him just sitting in the middle of it, cackling. The smell was appalling of course. But you can't play with brown magic like that and not expect your comeuppance—and uppance, it did indeed come. I remember sitting next to him in the hospital basically just conversing with an enormous brown starfish. Got an exorcist in but it was too late. Eventually it started expelling this geyser of acid diarrhoea and we knew the time had come to end it. Five of us, including the exorcist and a mental health nurse, covered in shit and beating the fucker to death with some garden hoes we'd found in a shed. We buried him alongside four rolls of toilet paper.

[popcorn]

That's dreadful mate, very sorry to hear that. Thing is, you think you've got rid of bumghasts, but they have a habit of hanging around - sometimes you catch a whiff and you think, did I wash my hands properly...?

[Dr Trouser]

Yes. Where is best for bumghast insurance?

NFU Mutual, and of course Hiscox.

[popcorn]

[BlodwynPig]

This instead of VHS in Ringu. Ring-goo?

[Neville Chamberlain]

Huge bumghasts flying in over Greenland.

A formation of bumghasts sighted over the Orkneys.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Laughed at pancreas' post

[Glebe]

I wasn't until now.

[Gregory Torso]

Laughed at pancreas' post

Yeah, so did I.   LAST JUNE, GRANDAD.

[Replies From View]

That's dreadful mate, very sorry to hear that. Thing is, you think you've got rid of bumghasts, but they have a habit of hanging around - sometimes you catch a whiff and you think, did I wash my hands properly...?

Yes they are like verrucas in this regard.