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Jobsworths

Started by Camp Tramp, June 18, 2018, 01:11:33 PM

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Quote from: Jockice on June 22, 2018, 03:34:23 PM
In the upper sixth I got - physically - thrown out of the place we used to have all our school discos at the Christmas do because they had an unexpected clampdown on underage drinking and they refused to believe I was 18. I was one of probably about half a dozen 18-year-olds in the place. I phoned up my parents demanding that my dad brought my birth certificate but he was out on the piss somewhere and mum couldn't drive, so I wasn't happy. I'd planned to try and cop off with a certain girl that night too, but all she saw of me was when I was carried outside by a pair of bouncers and unceremoniously dumped on the ground. I did go back with my birth certificate the next day but the damage had been done. Thanks Stars.

That's the only time I've ever been physically thrown out of anywhere in my life, even though a friend of mine who I wasn't at school with claims he saw it happen to me several years later, for a totally different reason, in a totally different club. I think I told him the original version and he decided to reclaim it as his own. And nothing will convince him he didn't see it with his own eyes.

That's your actual Origin Story isn't it, Jockice.  I can tell.  The origin of your superpowers and the origin of the grudge that drives you.

Cloud

I do somewhat subscribe to the theory that it's largely life's stresses that 'age' a person.   Shit's happened but all in all I've been fortunate enough to have it fairly easy so far (boy is fate going to make up for lost time one of these days, I'm not looking forward to it and just relishing the days for now) and have not had the "Homer Simpson effect" of having kids, so am still bright eyed and bushy tailed.

Quote from: Huxleys Babkins on June 22, 2018, 10:29:37 AM
Had a McDonald's breakfast just now; Double sausage McMuffin meal like a real man should. Ordered from the self serve kiosk thing and the receipt didn't come out. My order came up, I went to the counter to collect my food and explained it hadn't printed.

"Sorry, we can't let you have it without the receipt."

"I'm the only person here."

"Sorry, I'll have to get the manager."

A couple of minutes later the manager comes out, looks around at the otherwise deserted restaurant, rolls his eyes at having his time thoroughly wasted, apologises and gives me my food.

Haha, must be new.  Those things run out all the time.  None of the McDs I've been to have even glanced at anyone's tickets - if you wanted a free meal all you'd have to do is go stand there for a bit until a number is called and someone is too dopey / messing with their kids / on the phone to notice and make your move.


I was turned away from a shit hole of a club back in 2003 for wearing trainers. The "no trainers, no jeans" rule had, by and large, died out by the turn of the century and they had become part of smart casual evening wear. But not here.

They weren't even tatty. Just smart, black Adidas Gazelles. I could see through to the bar and pointed out that there were a couple of blokes in there in fucking football shirts and beaten up old white trainers but they were still having none of it.

Had to walk home too 'cos my cunt mates decided to leave me at the door and head in and I didn't have enough for a taxi by myself. Still, at least the walk home was comfortable in my ace trainers I quipped to myself 15 years later as I type this*.

*DESOLATION.

As for the aging thing, smoking and sun damage are the absolute worst for leathery, wrinkly skin. Smiling is pretty bad for the crows feet too. Balding is 100% hereditary and greying is down to stress.

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As they used to say to Mick "Laughter Lines" Jagger:  "Nothing's that funny, you cunt."

Paul Calf

Quote from: Huxleys Babkins on June 22, 2018, 04:35:59 PM
I was turned away from a shit hole of a club back in 2003 for wearing trainers. The "no trainers, no jeans" rule had, by and large, died out by the turn of the century and they had become part of smart casual evening wear. But not here.

They weren't even tatty. Just smart, black Adidas Gazelles. I could see through to the bar and pointed out that there were a couple of blokes in there in fucking football shirts and beaten up old white trainers but they were still having none of it.

Had to walk home too 'cos my cunt mates decided to leave me at the door and head in and I didn't have enough for a taxi by myself. Still, at least the walk home was comfortable in my ace trainers I quipped to myself 15 years later as I type this*.

*DESOLATION.

As for the aging thing, smoking and sun damage are the absolute worst for leathery, wrinkly skin. Smiling is pretty bad for the crows feet too. Balding is 100% hereditary and greying is down to stress.

I used to wear trainers so I'd have an excuse not to go into the kind of shitty pubs and clubs that don't allow them. "Going to the Walkabout*? Sorry mate, won't get in." I'd shrug.


*A sports bar in Watford that didn't allow trainers. Really.

Cerys

Apparently I look much younger than my forty-five years.  This is almost certainly because people judge me from a distance and are therefore unable to see my sunken, haunted eyes.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Paul Calf on June 22, 2018, 04:44:34 PM
I used to wear trainers so I'd have an excuse not to go into the kind of shitty pubs and clubs that don't allow them. "Going to the Walkabout*? Sorry mate, won't get in." I'd shrug.


*A sports bar in Watford that didn't allow trainers. Really.

I did this. 'they allow trainers in the medicine bar' I'd say.

Goldentony

I felt a bit like a jobsworth a few weeks back. Two lads walked past me into a part of the venue that was closed to the public, I told them "lads, closed in there" but both of them ignored me and before the door slammed I shouted again. Luckily for me these were two english lit looking students who count the third Strokes album as a life changing experience so I wandered in and yelled at them asking who they were and what the fuck they were doing, but it turned out what i'd just interrupted was them getting a photo with one of the band who was on that night, so I fucked off back to where I was.

Anyway, see, if they'd told me that i'd have let them go in unbothered, but they came out giggling and going TEE HEE SORRY MATE WE LEFT OUR COATS and my gut response was to yell at them as they were walking off back to fucking Maghull or whatever

"YEAH, DON'T FUCKING IGNORE ME NEXT TIME YOU PAIR OF FUCKING BEAUTS"

and they looked back at me and went "oh come on mate..." and muttered something else, which again, I responded with

"FUCK OFF BACK TO BEBINGTON"

I spent the rest of the night feeling like a proper jobsworth and then I got pissed to lift the guilt, because tbf they were about 19 and wanted to meet a band and at that age before I realised all artistic output is a waste of time i'd have done the same thing.

Jockice

Quote from: Replies From View on June 22, 2018, 04:12:22 PM
That's your actual Origin Story isn't it, Jockice.  I can tell.  The origin of your superpowers and the origin of the grudge that drives you.

Dead right it is. I wasn't even drinking. I'd tried to get served twice but got refused. A few minutes later I was talking to a lad who had got served and he asked me to hold his pint while he went to the bog. And the manager saw me, told me I'd been warned and told me to leave. I refused so the bouncers grabbed me and lifted me out.

Just to make it worse, on the way to the door two lads from the year below, Albi and Christian, were coming in and asked what was happening, so I said:  "They're throwing me out cos they don't believe I'm 18." To which one of them replied: "Well, you're not, are you?" Thanks lads! Bet Albi got served with no problem. He already looked about 30 when he was 16.

Avril Lavigne

My other Jobsworth ID story is getting ID'd for trying to buy a single can of Red Bull in a corner shop when I was about 17.  I told the woman it's non-alcoholic but she insisted "I know you kids all try and get high off this stuff, you're not having it."

St_Eddie

Quote from: Avril Lavigne on June 22, 2018, 08:10:06 PM
My other Jobsworth ID story is getting ID'd for trying to buy a single can of Red Bull in a corner shop when I was about 17.  I told the woman it's non-alcoholic but she insisted "I know you kids all try and get high off this stuff, you're not having it."

Should have responded with "but I need my fix, man!  Don't be making me go cold turkey!  I can't handle the Red Bull rehab again!  I'm beggin' ya.  I'm pleadin' wit' ya!  Just give me my fucking fix, maaaannnnnn!".

Avril Lavigne

Quote from: St_Eddie on June 22, 2018, 08:22:30 PM
Should have responded with "but I need my fix, man!  Don't be making me go cold turkey!  I can't handle the Red Bull rehab again!  I'm beggin' ya.  I'm pleadin' wit' ya!  Just give me my fucking fix, maaaannnnnn!".

I should have! I can't feel too bad towards her though, she's probably dead now while I'm getting turned away from bars for still looking more or less the same as I did on that very day.

Steven

Quote from: Avril Lavigne on June 22, 2018, 08:36:13 PM
I should have! I can't feel too bad towards her though, she's probably dead now while I'm getting turned away from bars for still looking more or less the same as I did on that very day.

Crumblesag-humblebrag.

Avril Lavigne

Quote from: Steven on June 22, 2018, 08:44:37 PM
Crumblesag-humblebrag.

Well the original draft of that post basically just said I'm glad I look 17 while she's probably a corpse. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

St_Eddie

Quote from: Avril Lavigne on June 22, 2018, 09:25:47 PM
Well the original draft of that post basically just said I'm glad I look 17 while she's probably a corpse. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I preferred the original draft.  Sometimes when you revise the written word too much, you lose sight of what made it special in the first place; succinct, frank and more callous than my feet.

Avril Lavigne

Quote from: St_Eddie on June 23, 2018, 12:45:08 AM
I preferred the original draft.  Sometimes when you revise the written word too much, you lose sight of what made it special in the first place; succinct, frank and more callous than my feet.

And yet, due to health concerns I haven't been able to touch Red Bull since 2013 so who was the real winner?

mothman

OK, I got one. At work, we have IDs on lanyards. Now, the ID cards come in a blue holder. Last year, mine broke. I was signed off for work-related stress around that time, so I just stuck my ID in a spare green holder I had at home until I returned to work. Which I did eventually, but never went to get a new holder. Plus I like the green one, it's a double holder so you can flip it over and put another ID card in (useful for a card I have to visit another department's offices). And nobody has EVER said anything to me about my nonstandard cardholder.

Until last week. I was walking along one of the main corridors and some batshit crazy-looking middle-aged woman with blue hair stopped me and asked to see my pass. It wasn't visible because it had flipped over so the back was showing. She then told me to go and get a proper holder immediately. I agreed I would, walked away... and completely ignored her instruction. Because she wouldn't have stopped me for having the back of a proper blue holder showing. It was just because mine was green. And that's fucking stupid, either way she would t gs e seen the actual pass. My workplace - hell, probably every workplace - is full of lower-middle management types like her, middle-aged nonentities confronted with the pointlessness of their whole careers.

Camp Tramp

Quote from: mothman on June 23, 2018, 01:08:12 AM
OK, I got one. At work, we have IDs on lanyards. Now, the ID cards come in a blue holder. Last year, mine broke. I was signed off for work-related stress around that time, so I just stuck my ID in a spare green holder I had at home until I returned to work. Which I did eventually, but never went to get a new holder. Plus I like the green one, it's a double holder so you can flip it over and put another ID card in (useful for a card I have to visit another department's offices). And nobody has EVER said anything to me about my nonstandard cardholder.

Until last week. I was walking along one of the main corridors and some batshit crazy-looking middle-aged woman with blue hair stopped me and asked to see my pass. It wasn't visible because it had flipped over so the back was showing. She then told me to go and get a proper holder immediately. I agreed I would, walked away... and completely ignored her instruction. Because she wouldn't have stopped me for having the back of a proper blue holder showing. It was just because mine was green. And that's fucking stupid, either way she would t gs e seen the actual pass. My workplace - hell, probably every workplace - is full of lower-middle management types like her, middle-aged nonentities confronted with the pointlessness of their whole careers.

So not even a middle manager in your department, just some random person you haven't seen before or since.

What would have happened if you had blatantly ignored her?

buttgammon

Quote from: mothman on June 23, 2018, 01:08:12 AM
OK, I got one. At work, we have IDs on lanyards. Now, the ID cards come in a blue holder. Last year, mine broke. I was signed off for work-related stress around that time, so I just stuck my ID in a spare green holder I had at home until I returned to work. Which I did eventually, but never went to get a new holder. Plus I like the green one, it's a double holder so you can flip it over and put another ID card in (useful for a card I have to visit another department's offices). And nobody has EVER said anything to me about my nonstandard cardholder.

Until last week. I was walking along one of the main corridors and some batshit crazy-looking middle-aged woman with blue hair stopped me and asked to see my pass. It wasn't visible because it had flipped over so the back was showing. She then told me to go and get a proper holder immediately. I agreed I would, walked away... and completely ignored her instruction. Because she wouldn't have stopped me for having the back of a proper blue holder showing. It was just because mine was green. And that's fucking stupid, either way she would t gs e seen the actual pass. My workplace - hell, probably every workplace - is full of lower-middle management types like her, middle-aged nonentities confronted with the pointlessness of their whole careers.

Imagine that - a grown woman behaving like a hall monitor from an American TV programme. She must be a real loser.

checkoutgirl

I haven't been ID'ed, hassled at a supermarket or jobsworthed in living memory. But then again I live in Ireland and they keep all the jobsworths in England for some reason.

Got ID'ed in America a few times recently now that I think about it. Annoying customers must be a special relationship America/UK thing.

checkoutgirl

Quote from: Vodka Margarine on June 21, 2018, 05:12:14 PM
There's definitely this kind of attitude going on when it comes to people who insist on smoking in bus shelters (and usually directly beneath a sizeable No Smoking sign).

It doesn't help matters when the council place bins with stub plates on them about a metre away.

The only thing that bothers me about folk smoking at the bus stop is their inevitable inability to grasp the concepts of upwind and downwind. It's a fundamental lack of intelligence in humans.

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Quote from: checkoutgirl on June 23, 2018, 10:50:28 AM
The only thing that bothers me about folk smoking at the bus stop is their inevitable inability to grasp the concepts of upwind and downwind. It's a fundamental lack of intelligence in humans.

It could be sheer selfishness.  Most smokers don't care about where their smoke goes because they've trained their bodies not to notice how noxious it is, and thus think that any acknowledgement of it whatsoever is an overreaction.

Some of them also get a kick out of winding up people who dislike it, but that's a different story.

St_Eddie

Quote from: Avril Lavigne on June 23, 2018, 12:55:47 AM
And yet, due to health concerns I haven't been able to touch Red Bull since 2013 so who was the real winner?

Certainly not Red Bull, that's for sure.

mothman

Quote from: Camp Tramp on June 23, 2018, 09:40:28 AM
So not even a middle manager in your department, just some random person you haven't seen before or since.

What would have happened if you had blatantly ignored her?

Nope, not before or since. I don't know what she would have done. I imagine I'll find out if our paths ever cross.

Quote from: buttgammon on June 23, 2018, 09:48:57 AM
Imagine that - a grown woman behaving like a hall monitor from an American TV programme. She must be a real loser.

There was something of the "teacher that nobody likes" about her.

José

the self checkout in morrisons identified a protein shake as a "restricted item". good job a member of staff came over and looked me up and down.
imagine the media fallout if they accidentally let a growing lad buy some protein.


St_Eddie

Quote from: José on June 28, 2018, 07:41:25 PM
a member of staff looked me up and down and came...

PHWAOR!

José

Quote from: St_Eddie on June 28, 2018, 07:53:40 PM
PHWAOR!

now you mention it, "there's an unexpected item in my bagging area" is a pretty good euphemism for getting a lob on.

Steven

Quote from: José on June 28, 2018, 11:36:58 PM
now you mention it, "there's an unexpected item in my bagging area" is a pretty good euphemism for getting a lob on.

Or a cock up the arse, while you attempt 'self-service'.

José

Quote from: Steven on June 28, 2018, 11:44:52 PM
while you attempt 'self-service'.

no need, the member of staff had to "reach around" me to validate the purchase.