Author Topic: Why are you not watching the football!!!????!?  (Read 8411 times)

Re: Why are you not watching the football!!!????!?
« Reply #810 on: July 11, 2018, 08:41:59 PM »
England have gone full brexit, they've lost the bloody plot of football.
My calculations never took this into account.
It's gonna be a bloodbath.
3-1 to Coats.

Spoon of Ploff

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Re: Why are you not watching the football!!!????!?
« Reply #811 on: July 11, 2018, 08:43:21 PM »
After watching a number of footballs this last few weeks I think I can say with some certainty that this isn't very good.

Dr Rock

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Re: Why are you not watching the football!!!????!?
« Reply #812 on: July 11, 2018, 08:48:30 PM »
This is The Last Jedi of football matches.

Spoon of Ploff

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Re: Why are you not watching the football!!!????!?
« Reply #813 on: July 11, 2018, 08:51:37 PM »
That's it. The game has finished its normal time. Abnormal time to follow.

Spoon of Ploff

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Re: Why are you not watching the football!!!????!?
« Reply #814 on: July 11, 2018, 08:52:14 PM »
This is The Last Jedi of football matches.

subverting our expectations???

Re: Why are you not watching the football!!!????!?
« Reply #815 on: July 11, 2018, 08:55:32 PM »
Time to find out who has the most legs.

Spoon of Ploff

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Re: Why are you not watching the football!!!????!?
« Reply #816 on: July 11, 2018, 08:55:53 PM »
On the plus side Paulie Walnitts hasn't bothered paying this thread a visit. Small mercies.

Re: Why are you not watching the football!!!????!?
« Reply #817 on: July 11, 2018, 08:57:48 PM »
Football is for everyone, even a walnut.

Re: Why are you not watching the football!!!????!?
« Reply #818 on: July 11, 2018, 09:01:37 PM »
What's going on? did someone tear his cock off?

Spoon of Ploff

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Re: Why are you not watching the football!!!????!?
« Reply #819 on: July 11, 2018, 09:10:36 PM »
this abnormal time is just the same thing isn't it. only the people are a bit tired out.

my football high is mellowing hard.

Spoon of Ploff

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Re: Why are you not watching the football!!!????!?
« Reply #820 on: July 11, 2018, 09:21:44 PM »
Coats go up a goal!!!!! Blimey!!!

Re: Why are you not watching the football!!!????!?
« Reply #821 on: July 11, 2018, 09:22:01 PM »
IT'S ALL OVER.

PROBABLY.

Spoon of Ploff

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Re: Why are you not watching the football!!!????!?
« Reply #822 on: July 11, 2018, 09:27:30 PM »
Look at those Coats. Passing the ball to each other accurately and at pace. Disgraceful way to play the game.

Re: Why are you not watching the football!!!????!?
« Reply #823 on: July 11, 2018, 09:38:39 PM »
That’s it. Football, not coming home, is cursed to wander the earth.  Maybe forever.

Re: Why are you not watching the football!!!????!?
« Reply #824 on: July 11, 2018, 09:39:01 PM »
England fucked it.

Oh well.

Re: Why are you not watching the football!!!????!?
« Reply #825 on: July 11, 2018, 09:40:33 PM »

Spoon of Ploff

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Re: Why are you not watching the football!!!????!?
« Reply #826 on: July 11, 2018, 09:40:45 PM »
That's it. The football is over. Britain have fucked it. Later the players will gather at a nearby grove for the ceremonial burning of the soccer boots that have let the nation down so badly.

Where and Why? Is the single question on everyone's mind lips, where and why?

Spoon of Ploff

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Re: Why are you not watching the football!!!????!?
« Reply #827 on: July 11, 2018, 09:43:22 PM »
The UK. Tomorrow Morning:


pancreas

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Re: Why are you not watching the football!!!????!?
« Reply #828 on: July 11, 2018, 09:46:30 PM »
Welcome to Brexit Britain. Where even the football is leaving us to set up on the continent.

Spoon of Ploff

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Re: Why are you not watching the football!!!????!?
« Reply #829 on: July 11, 2018, 09:54:02 PM »
Welcome to Brexit Britain. Where even the football is leaving us to set up on the continent.

We were losing badly at football long before we joined the EU Mr pancreas. Please keep politics out of our football if you'd be so kind.

Re: Why are you not watching the football!!!????!?
« Reply #830 on: July 11, 2018, 11:10:25 PM »
As I swilled the last traces of toothpaste from my mouth this morning, a footballer's head flew past the window shouting the word 'Pobjeda'.

It's quiet and dark outside, and not just because it's 11.05 pm, there's something else too. Just remember what google Friedrich Nietzsche tells us: "Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man."

Brothers and Sisters - today we are at last at peace.


Ray Travez

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Re: Why are you not watching the football!!!????!?
« Reply #831 on: July 11, 2018, 11:16:11 PM »
…and as the dust settles, the King of Fifa, Barry Football, bangs down his gavel, beginning another four years of rueful exile for our lucklorn adventurers.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Why are you not watching the football!!!????!?
« Reply #832 on: July 11, 2018, 11:47:49 PM »

Spoon of Ploff

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Re: Why are you not watching the football!!!????!?
« Reply #833 on: July 12, 2018, 06:12:39 AM »
WHERE'S HARRY REDKNAPPS????!!!

Re: Why are you not watching the football!!!????!?
« Reply #834 on: July 12, 2018, 06:16:10 AM »
Alan Football really let us down by not passing to Alan Football

Spoon of Ploff

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Re: Why are you not watching the football!!!????!?
« Reply #835 on: July 12, 2018, 08:48:10 AM »
On Saturday Britain's B side will play Belgum's B side.... in effect a repeat of the match they played in the groups stages. It was a mostly meaningless match then,,, its a less than meaningless match now. But it is still football, and so this thread will stumble on a little longer.. dragging it's lungs and kidneys behind it like some horrific road accident victim that hasn't yet worked out it's dead.

Bhazor

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Re: Why are you not watching the football!!!????!?
« Reply #836 on: July 12, 2018, 10:41:34 AM »
The England team will be sent into the dark woods for repentance. They will eat nothing but bloodshit berries and wear shorts with ball netting made of rough twine.

Then they'll return to england to take solace in their mansions made of gold plated big tit models.

Ray Travez

  • "Good game, good game!"
Re: Why are you not watching the football!!!????!?
« Reply #837 on: July 12, 2018, 11:42:26 AM »
But it is still football

It is THE FOOTBALL!!

Saturday, I’m hoping and praying that Britain can get a few more goats into the net.

Spoon of Ploff

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Re: Why are you not watching the football!!!????!?
« Reply #838 on: July 12, 2018, 11:50:28 AM »
The England team will be sent into the dark woods for repentance. They will eat nothing but bloodshit berries and wear shorts with ball netting made of rough twine.

Then they'll return to england to take solace in their mansions made of gold plated big tit models.


As they arrive back in Britain they will be made to walk through a gauntlet of all the tear streaked footballing schoolchildren in the country, who will stand in silence, staring into space. As the players draw level these inconsolable kids have been instructed to turn their backs on their former heroes, and tear the relevant page from their Pirelli football sticker albums. A choir of soccer orphans will cough up a rendition of Hurt by Johnny Cash.

All this will be done in the knowledge that the children will have to walk home afterwards. This journey will take some of them weeks.

Later that day the Britain players will be informed that the Thailand young footballers so recently rescued have been put back into the caves to save them from witnessing such abject displays ever again.

It continues...

Re: Why are you not watching the football!!!????!?
« Reply #839 on: July 12, 2018, 04:20:30 PM »
SHUT UP with this talk! and listen to the official organs and Voices of the People who as ever catch the Mood of the Nation:

Quote
They're Coming Home... But Every One's a Hero

You Did Us Proud

We Lived the Dream... Thank You England

HEROES We're Proud of You All

England Hold Their Heads High Despite Pain of World Cup Loss

You people must have a heart of stone to read the death of little England without laughing.