Concert cliches you want to fuck off

[kngen]

A couple of years ago when Eminem played a big open air gig on Glasgow Green he said that this was the best gig of his life and that this was the greatest audience he'd ever played to. I kind of presumed he said that to pretty much every audience he ever plays to but I know someone who went who said he seemed quite sincere and genuinely choked up at one point with the enormity of it all. He's said on a few occasions he'd like to give to Scotland. I suppose in some ways Glasgow could quite easily be twinned with Detroit.   http://www.heraldscotland.com/news/15500674.The_Real_Scot_Shady__Eminem_announces_once_again_his_wish_to_move_to_Scotland/

Apparently a video of thousands of steaming sengas screeching out Forever Young was enough to motivate the normally taciturn Beyonce to tap the keys on her diamond-encrusted iPhone X.

http://www.eveningtimes.co.uk/news/16282047.Beyonc_____s_message_to_Glasgow_in_rarely-captioned_Instagram_post/

[gloria]

I hate this insincere "praise the audience" shite

They're all a bunch of phonies, aren't they Holden?


Interesting comparison between older and younger artists re: mobiles at gigs. Saw Nick Cave play and, as you can imagine, he was railing in true miserable old git style against people in the audience with their "fucking iPhones". Same year I saw Lana Del Ray play and she came to the front row to pose for selfies with audience members while singing. In short: old people aren't used to mobiles at gigs and it confuses and upsets them. Young people are cool with it.

[Crabwalk]

Young people can fuck off.

[PaulTMA]

I'm OK when a proper successful musician from a relatively exotic location says "how's it going Glasgow?" etc but when it's someone from Bathgate playing 5th on the bill at Box to an audience of almost no one, it sounds frankly pathétique

[mobias]

Yeah the whole playing the rockstar thing for young inexperienced bands is a bit naff. Many many years ago I went to a very early gig by a now famous Scottish rock band, who will remain nameless. It was one of their first relatively big gigs but even so as far as I could tell pretty much three quarters of the people in the audience were friends and on the guest list and the other quarter had next to no idea who they were and were just the sort of random punter who habitually buys concert tickets for up and coming bands.

At the end of the gig the drummer and singer (now quite famous) threw his drum sticks into the crowd where upon absolutely no one dived to pick them up. In fact as I left the gig I saw one still lying on the floor. I was going to pick it up and hand it back to him but I thought that might appear rather rude. 

[manticore]

They're all a bunch of phonies, aren't they Holden?


Interesting comparison between older and younger artists re: mobiles at gigs. Saw Nick Cave play and, as you can imagine, he was railing in true miserable old git style against people in the audience with their "fucking iPhones".

For myself, I've hated it when people use cameras to distract themselves from actually having to experience something since I was a boy. It's not just an old git thing.

[Jockice]

Right:
In Wales, the frontman saying a word or sentence in Welsh onstage seems to tick the box for easily-pleased fans.

Pulp or Jarvis solo gigs in Sheffield. Of which I've seen plenty. A substantial proportion of the audience would go home happy if he didn't bother with the music and just read random selections from the local A-Z. With a bit of leaping around.

[thecuriousorange]

An artist playing a massive outdoor show will normally namecheck a small venue in the same city that they gigged in when starting out. This lets them highlight "how far" they have come to reach their enormous status. But also seem, like, normal and relateable to the teeming mass of punters.

[Captain Crunch]

Sucking up to the crowd is annoying and insulting the crowd is silly but there are two more to add to the list:

1.  When the band come on, don't say hello, launch straight into the first number then the singer comes up to the mic and ... asks the sound guy for more bass in his monitor oh and can Trent have more drums on his side and yeah we'll just do a little practice then carry on.  Don't care if you only sold 50 tickets you should still say hello. 

2.  That boring twat from Orange Goblin drowning out the good riffs with his constant demands "COME ON COME ON COME ON YEAH YEAH YEAH COME ON EVERYONE".  Shut up boyo, we want to hear this stuff.  See also metal bands who ask for a circle pit.  Might as well ask everyone to buy a t-shirt while you're at it. 

[alan nagsworth]

wow the amount of miserly bullshit in this thread, definitely part of the reason i'm increasingly apathetic to this subforum nowadays. people going to the bar during the set to buy refreshments for the friends and then COMING BACK THROUGH THE CROWD WITH SAID REFRESHMENTS? NO YOU SHOULD ALL LEAVE IF YOU WANT A DRINK SO MUCH, THEN STAND BY THE BAR FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE SET YOU ALCOHOL-RELIANT DULLARDS WHY CAN'T YOU JUST ENJOY A MUSIC GIG FOR WHAT IT IS OH NO MY ANGER IS IMPEDING MY OWN ENJOYMENT AND I'VE FUCKING RUINED IT FOR MYSELF BY BEING A BIG BABY

drgreggles you sound like a twat. in all my years of going to gigs i have never been asked, or witnessed anyone else being asked, to put the phone away and stop filming part of the gig, and that - unlike the total bile you're dribbling - is a straight-up fact. everyone just fucking gets on with it.

how do you think it feels to be shorter than 5'5" at a gig? those people - and they're mostly girls as well - can't see jack shit but they get on with it don't they? there's no "if all these taller folk don't fuck off in a minute i'm going to start kicking ankles" from them. count yourself lucky that you're a chap tall enough to only have your view very partially obstructed by a screen which is now technologically advanced enough to show a very good quality image of what you'd be looking at anyway, you cunt.

[kngen]

Yeah the whole playing the rockstar thing for young inexperienced bands is a bit naff. Many many years ago I went to a very early gig by a now famous Scottish rock band, who will remain nameless. It was one of their first relatively big gigs but even so as far as I could tell pretty much three quarters of the people in the audience were friends and on the guest list and the other quarter had next to no idea who they were and were just the sort of random punter who habitually buys concert tickets for up and coming bands.

At the end of the gig the drummer and singer (now quite famous) threw his drum sticks into the crowd where upon absolutely no one dived to pick them up. In fact as I left the gig I saw one still lying on the floor. I was going to pick it up and hand it back to him but I thought that might appear rather rude.

Biffy Clyro? I remember them briefly brushing up against my tiny dank corner of the underground music scene before they were famous, and they already had a terrible rep for (completely unearned) rock star behaviour even back then. Positive visualisation though, I suppose, as they're the ones laughing now.

[mobias]

Biffy Clyro? I remember them briefly brushing up against my tiny dank corner of the underground music scene before they were famous, and they already had a terrible rep for (completely unearned) rock star behaviour even back then. Positive visualisation though, I suppose, as they're the ones laughing now.

It wasn't Biffy Clyro no, I'm not a fan them. Biffy Clyro that is.

[Nice Relaxing Poo]

Scottish and with a singer who drums? I'm off to google it..

[phantom_power]

McGenesis?

[Sebastian Cobb]

Biffy Clyro? I remember them briefly brushing up against my tiny dank corner of the underground music scene before they were famous, and they already had a terrible rep for (completely unearned) rock star behaviour even back then. Positive visualisation though, I suppose, as they're the ones laughing now.

When we were about 15 one of my mates had a CDR ep of theirs that he used to stick on repeat when we were getting stoned.

About 10 years later they appeared on pub jukeboxes. Still the same 3 songs.

[PaulTMA]

I was on the Stow College music business course that initially signed Biffy Clyro to Electric Honey records and I'd like to say I tried to stop them from becoming famous, but all I did was not put my hand up when we were voting to sign them and kept my hand down when they asked if anyone thought we shouldn't.  Every single other person had voted in their favour, so it was already pointless trying to kick up a fuss.  I just thought they sounded like an even worse Silverchair, which of course they did.  They were sound engineering students at the college, so it was clearly an inside job etc

[The Lion King]

Went to a festival in the countryside outside of Winchester and most of the acts that had come from the USA kept saying things like 'What's up Winchester!?' and 'It's so great to be here in Winchester' rather than the name of the festival which seemed quite strange. It distanced them from the festival somehow like they didn't know anything about the festival and had merely been told by PR that it took place in Winchester.

[Icehaven]

You're nicking it because you're expecting to play a disappointingly under-attended gig soon, or you're going to steal the story and pretend you were there?

Desolation either way

The former. And in a remarkable coincidence I actually did exactly that on Saturday night in the quietest pub in Newcastle Under Lyme (and that's no small achievement), but seeing as the 4 people watching the 3 of us were my boyfriend, the singer's girlfriend and two of our friends there wasn't any need for anyone to be introduced, but I'm sure it'll come in handy at the next gig.

[mrpupkin]

In defence of Biffy Clyro, their second album Vertigo of Bliss was decent and I'll politely disagree with anyone who says otherwise. Also played with them around that time, they seemed genuine and were unnecessarily gracious and encouraging to us as an unknown small-town band. Comparisons to Silverchair are way off at least regarding those early years when they wrote some interesting off-kilter stuff and played the hell out of it.

[Jockice]

Scottish and with a singer who drums? I'm off to google it..

The Beautiful North?

[Nice Relaxing Poo]

The Beautiful North?

I'm finding it very difficult. Apart from obviously famous singer/drummers it's hard to google it.

[Bobtoo]

Bobby Gillespie?

[alan nagsworth]

In defence of Biffy Clyro, their second album Vertigo of Bliss was decent and I'll politely disagree with anyone who says otherwise.

It's a damn sight better than decent. I have a lot of time for that record. Third one's pretty great as well.

[PaulTMA]

In defence of Biffy Clyro, their second album Vertigo of Bliss was decent and I'll politely disagree with anyone who says otherwise. Also played with them around that time, they seemed genuine and were unnecessarily gracious and encouraging to us as an unknown small-town band. Comparisons to Silverchair are way off at least regarding those early years when they wrote some interesting off-kilter stuff and played the hell out of it.

Your band wasn't Pupkin by any chance?

[a duncandisorderly]

So far there have been 4 occasions that have gone past the 3rd instance:
- 2 phones grabbed, dropped to the floor and kicked into the crowd - no words said
- 1 phone grabbed, put in my pocket with the cunt told to collect it after the gig (I missed my calling as a teacher, I think)*
- 1 phone grabbed, smashed on the floor and me yelling "I fucking warned you, you selfish cunt!" in his face. The few people standing near me cheered and his mates pissed themselves laughing.**

my hero.

[rectorofstiffkey]

The former. And in a remarkable coincidence I actually did exactly that on Saturday night in the quietest pub in Newcastle Under Lyme (and that's no small achievement), but seeing as the 4 people watching the 3 of us were my boyfriend, the singer's girlfriend and two of our friends there wasn't any need for anyone to be introduced, but I'm sure it'll come in handy at the next gig.

I'm glad you think it'll be useful!  Somehow, I don't think it was the first time the band had used that line....they were rather niche and I can't imagine them having too many larger audiences.

[Captain Crunch]

This has happened to me when I've been one of only a handful of people there (or the only one who paid!)  I hate it, it's awkward but if you have social skills it's probably quite nice.  Even nicer if you do what REM did once and take the crowd out for a curry after. 

[a duncandisorderly]

Bobby Gillespie?

"singer/drummer".

so, no. not him.

[scarecrow]

Not famous, but could be be Alex Nelson from the Trembling Fucks?

[manticore]

wow the amount of miserly bullshit in this thread, definitely part of the reason i'm increasingly apathetic to this subforum nowadays. people going to the bar during the set to buy refreshments for the friends and then COMING BACK THROUGH THE CROWD WITH SAID REFRESHMENTS? NO YOU SHOULD ALL LEAVE IF YOU WANT A DRINK SO MUCH, THEN STAND BY THE BAR FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE SET YOU ALCOHOL-RELIANT DULLARDS WHY CAN'T YOU JUST ENJOY A MUSIC GIG FOR WHAT IT IS OH NO MY ANGER IS IMPEDING MY OWN ENJOYMENT AND I'VE FUCKING RUINED IT FOR MYSELF BY BEING A BIG BABY

drgreggles you sound like a twat. in all my years of going to gigs i have never been asked, or witnessed anyone else being asked, to put the phone away and stop filming part of the gig, and that - unlike the total bile you're dribbling - is a straight-up fact. everyone just fucking gets on with it.

Yeah, just put up with it! I put up with crap and it makes me angry and miserable, so why can't you be too you selfish bastard!

how do you think it feels to be shorter than 5'5" at a gig? those people - and they're mostly girls as well - can't see jack shit but they get on with it don't they? there's no "if all these taller folk don't fuck off in a minute i'm going to start kicking ankles" from them. count yourself lucky that you're a chap tall enough to only have your view very partially obstructed by a screen which is now technologically advanced enough to show a very good quality image of what you'd be looking at anyway, you cunt.

If there's something wrong you can actually do something about (unlike being 5'5" and not being able to see over people's heads) then it's good for yourself and the world to do something about it. Maybe not with drgreggles' exact methods, but somehow.