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Concert cliches you want to fuck off

Started by thecuriousorange, June 18, 2018, 10:57:17 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Pingers

Quote from: the on June 19, 2018, 11:58:23 AM
I hate it when they wheel on a Pacific walrus and wank it off into the crowd

I laughed my chops off at this.

Clownbaby

More festival than concert probs but people getting their hair done like this



Pauline Walnuts

#212


3 seconds later DrGreggles grabbed the phone that photo was taken and smashed it.

Everyone in the audience clapped.

holyzombiejesus

I hate audience participation. Alasdair Roberts (an artist that I love dearly) used to try and get people to hum along to bits of The Whole House is Singing and I (pathetically) used to sit there with my mouth slightly agape so there could be no doubting my refusal to join in.

I went to see the doom band YOB on Saturday and a guy in front of us began filming as they started a 9 minute song until my mate gave him a poke in the back and he sheepishly put his phone away, no phone smashing required. He'd have needed some fucking stamina to hold it up that long anyway.

flotemysost

Quote from: Clownbaby on October 13, 2018, 02:17:26 PM
More festival than concert probs but people getting their hair done like this



Urgh, yes. I do enjoy a bit of glitter but it's just overkill at festivals now. And we'll probably be finding it in fish's gullets for millennia to come.

Nightmare to apply sun cream over as well, if it's worn on the skin. I saw a woman on the second day of Lovebox festival sporting a crimson chest with a big white patch in the middle, unmistakably in the shape of one of those self-adhesive gem things they sell in Topshop and the like. I'm afraid I LOL'd.

hummingofevil

My gripe is when venues get it wrong about seats or no seats.

For seated gigs that should be standing part of the problem is the type of venues that are used. The concert Hall circuit really kills certain bands and seeing Kraftwerk, Mogwai and worst of all George Clinton and The P-Funk Allstars in fancy venues is rubbish.

Conversely spent weekend at Tusk in Newcastle and lots of drone/ambient stuff and really should have put the chairs out for half of it. People sitting on floor all weekend just makes it awkward and for me the only thing that takes me out of a performance more than rocking in my legs as they get increasingly sore (after 3 days standing up) is a sore arse from sitting on the floor.

And before any of you say all gigs should be standing that's bollocks. Will Oldham at Union Chapel was a delight and people sitting helped them remember that we there to listen to performance and not them and mates talking shit at the back.

Worst gig I've been to in recent years was Ulrich Schnauss in Leeds. Beautiful music and visuals but standing up in Headrow House which attracted a crowd of utter cunts who seemed oblivious to the fact that paying £16 to loudly  catch up with their "Uni" mate's whilst stood right in middle of a concert in a building where every other room is a bar you can go chat is a fucking obnoxious thing to do. When politely asked if they "are going to talk all the way through" to got a look not of anger but complete bemusement that I might have an issue with their behaviour. Felt fucking stabby that night.

a duncandisorderly

Quote from: hummingofevil on October 15, 2018, 02:00:26 AM
My gripe is when venues get it wrong about seats or no seats......seeing Kraftwerk, Mogwai and worst of all George Clinton and The P-Funk Allstars in fancy venues is rubbish.

it's yonks ago now... during that mad phase of bands playing an entire album end-to-end, which was daft because for the most part they'd never played the numbers in that order before, or without breaking them up with some other stuff, & there were some songs they never did live... I saw slint do this, & ruin 'spiderland' for me forever... the yoot doing 'daydream nation' was a bit better.

BUT the cracker was also one of them gigs where they make CDr copies of the first set & you could buy them afterwards. that was gang of four doing 'entertainment' at the barbican.

the barbican.

the stupidest place EVER to put on a rock band with a drum kit.

& last year I saw thurston & his buddies with TWO drumkits pretending to be can.

bad idea, promoters. bad idea.

Icehaven

Quote from: a duncandisorderly on October 16, 2018, 01:28:15 AM
it's yonks ago now... during that mad phase of bands playing an entire album end-to-end, which was daft because for the most part they'd never played the numbers in that order before, or without breaking them up with some other stuff, & there were some songs they never did live... I saw slint do this, & ruin 'spiderland' for me forever... the yoot doing 'daydream nation' was a bit better.


I never went to one of them but always thought at least it'd be useful to know exactly when to go to the bar, although it'd depend on how many people shared your least favourite track.

holyzombiejesus

The stampede to the bar at B&S concerts whenever Stevie Jackson takes to the mic always makes me laugh (apart from the fact that I'm also at the bar at that point and the queue is bigger).

BlodwynPig

Quote from: hummingofevil on October 15, 2018, 02:00:26 AM
My gripe is when venues get it wrong about seats or no seats.

For seated gigs that should be standing part of the problem is the type of venues that are used. The concert Hall circuit really kills certain bands and seeing Kraftwerk, Mogwai and worst of all George Clinton and The P-Funk Allstars in fancy venues is rubbish.

Conversely spent weekend at Tusk in Newcastle and lots of drone/ambient stuff and really should have put the chairs out for half of it. People sitting on floor all weekend just makes it awkward and for me the only thing that takes me out of a performance more than rocking in my legs as they get increasingly sore (after 3 days standing up) is a sore arse from sitting on the floor.

And before any of you say all gigs should be standing that's bollocks. Will Oldham at Union Chapel was a delight and people sitting helped them remember that we there to listen to performance and not them and mates talking shit at the back.

Worst gig I've been to in recent years was Ulrich Schnauss in Leeds. Beautiful music and visuals but standing up in Headrow House which attracted a crowd of utter cunts who seemed oblivious to the fact that paying £16 to loudly  catch up with their "Uni" mate's whilst stood right in middle of a concert in a building where every other room is a bar you can go chat is a fucking obnoxious thing to do. When politely asked if they "are going to talk all the way through" to got a look not of anger but complete bemusement that I might have an issue with their behaviour. Felt fucking stabby that night.

I feel you. Although choose your victims wisely. The bikers I shouted at at a Hawkwind gig in Glasgow were probably the wrong target.

BlodwynPig

Poor Ron Geesin and Astralasia at Tilburg in 2011. Geesin's experimental wackiness and Astralasia's euphoric ambient set...completely drowned out by the "cocktail guffawing" of the Dutch Illiterati.


Quote from: hummingofevil on October 15, 2018, 02:00:26 AM
My gripe is when venues get it wrong about seats or no seats.

For seated gigs that should be standing part of the problem is the type of venues that are used. The concert Hall circuit really kills certain bands and seeing Kraftwerk, Mogwai and worst of all George Clinton and The P-Funk Allstars in fancy venues is rubbish.

Conversely spent weekend at Tusk in Newcastle and lots of drone/ambient stuff and really should have put the chairs out for half of it. People sitting on floor all weekend just makes it awkward and for me the only thing that takes me out of a performance more than rocking in my legs as they get increasingly sore (after 3 days standing up) is a sore arse from sitting on the floor.

And before any of you say all gigs should be standing that's bollocks. Will Oldham at Union Chapel was a delight and people sitting helped them remember that we there to listen to performance and not them and mates talking shit at the back.

Worst gig I've been to in recent years was Ulrich Schnauss in Leeds. Beautiful music and visuals but standing up in Headrow House which attracted a crowd of utter cunts who seemed oblivious to the fact that paying £16 to loudly  catch up with their "Uni" mate's whilst stood right in middle of a concert in a building where every other room is a bar you can go chat is a fucking obnoxious thing to do. When politely asked if they "are going to talk all the way through" to got a look not of anger but complete bemusement that I might have an issue with their behaviour. Felt fucking stabby that night.

Bands get it wrong too sometimes. The Pet Shop Boys last tour was all-seater which was a fucking tragedy. I get that some of the fanbase is getting on a bit now, but you can't release a single like The Pop Kids and not expect people to want to be getting their dance on during your show.

hummingofevil

Quote from: Huxleys Babkins on October 16, 2018, 04:29:11 PM
Bands get it wrong too sometimes. The Pet Shop Boys last tour was all-seater which was a fucking tragedy. I get that some of the fanbase is getting on a bit now, but you can't release a single like The Pop Kids and not expect people to want to be getting their dance on during your show.

Yeah. I saw Pet Shop Boys in the Sage and it was the best gig I've seen in their as they are great but the stand up/sit down thing was odd. Did make me giggle though: classic 'Boys hit - crowd immediately jumps to their feet and everyone dancing; obscure album track - everyone sits down again. "No manners but what a critic".

Its A Sin live on that last tour was one of the very best individual songs I've ever seen live. FUCK YOU ST. CUTHBERTS (if that what its about).

QDRPHNC

Quote from: a duncandisorderly on October 16, 2018, 01:28:15 AM
it's yonks ago now... during that mad phase of bands playing an entire album end-to-end, which was daft because...

Not arguing with you, but seeing the Pixies play Doolittle all the way through was fucking stonking.

And I think I do have a couple of their show-bought CD-Rs lying around. Was it Pearl Jam that pioneered that? Or am I getting confused?

BlodwynPig

Quote from: hummingofevil on October 16, 2018, 04:37:16 PM
Yeah. I saw Pet Shop Boys in the Sage and it was the best gig I've seen in their as they are great but the stand up/sit down thing was odd. Did make me giggle though: classic 'Boys hit - crowd immediately jumps to their feet and everyone dancing; obscure album track - everyone sits down again. "No manners but what a critic".

Its A Sin live on that last tour was one of the very best individual songs I've ever seen live. FUCK YOU ST. CUTHBERTS (if that what its about).

That was my school! Didnt know he wrote a song about it. Hopefully nothing dodgy?

hummingofevil

Quote from: BlodwynPig on October 16, 2018, 06:17:17 PM
That was my school! Didnt know he wrote a song about it. Hopefully nothing dodgy?

Yeah. I think It's A Sin is about his time at school. Suppose it's more about Catholic teaching than anything particularly bad about St. Cuthberts specifically  but just happened to be the school he went to.

I've always liked it as a tune but in the Sage (which Im not normally a huge fan of) the sound and staging felt really intimate and heartfelt and an invitation to join him in a big FUCK YOU to being made to felt shame for being himself. The fact it's a massive banger helped greatly too. :)

hummingofevil

My spelling and grammar is fucking terrible. Sorry guys. Will do better.

Édit: "are"

a duncandisorderly

Quote from: QDRPHNC on October 16, 2018, 04:47:22 PM
Not arguing with you, but seeing the Pixies play Doolittle all the way through was fucking stonking.

And I think I do have a couple of their show-bought CD-Rs lying around. Was it Pearl Jam that pioneered that? Or am I getting confused?

I was fortunate to catch both the 2008 (?) show where they did that, & also the 1989 tour where they had that & 'surfer rosa' & some other bits with which to fill ninety minutes.
they were fucking marvellous both times, I agree, but there was a definite sense of the presence of accountants at the later show, both in the audience & in the band's motivation to not kill each other.
when I saw them in liverpool the first time, the on-stage passion was about out-doing each other, & I recall KD having a little solo spot which frank interrupted rather rudely.

I don't know who is supposed to have pioneered the CD-of-the-gig thing, but my own band did a gig as long ago as 1996, where the ticket price bought you a CDr of the gig just as soon as we could mix/edit the recording & bash them out, one at a time, on a three-grand studer CD recorder at the BBC.
we had originally planned to just set up trestle tables & loads of cassette decks, let people DIY the thing. but the CDrs were a better idea. we got a picture of the audience (dozens, rather than hundreds) & used that as the inner of the jewel box insert, so everyone was immortalised. the tickets were £30, to cover the CDr (blanks were £15 each back then, incredible as it sounds now) & the venue, & we joked about calling the occasion "the three tenners."

hummingofevil

Quote from: a duncandisorderly on October 16, 2018, 09:11:46 PM
I was fortunate to catch both the 2008 (?) show where they did that, & also the 1989 tour where they had that & 'surfer rosa' & some other bits with which to fill ninety minutes.
they were fucking marvellous both times, I agree, but there was a definite sense of the presence of accountants at the later show, both in the audience & in the band's motivation to not kill each other.
when I saw them in liverpool the first time, the on-stage passion was about out-doing each other, & I recall KD having a little solo spot which frank interrupted rather rudely.

I don't know who is supposed to have pioneered the CD-of-the-gig thing, but my own band did a gig as long ago as 1996, where the ticket price bought you a CDr of the gig just as soon as we could mix/edit the recording & bash them out, one at a time, on a three-grand studer CD recorder at the BBC.
we had originally planned to just set up trestle tables & loads of cassette decks, let people DIY the thing. but the CDrs were a better idea. we got a picture of the audience (dozens, rather than hundreds) & used that as the inner of the jewel box insert, so everyone was immortalised. the tickets were £30, to cover the CDr (blanks were £15 each back then, incredible as it sounds now) & the venue, & we joked about calling the occasion "the tare tenners."

£30 a ticket in 1996!?! Are you Bono?

a duncandisorderly

Quote from: hummingofevil on October 16, 2018, 09:31:30 PM
£30 a ticket in 1996!?! Are you Bono?

I've seen the original CDrs of that gig go for £200 on discogs.  but yeah, people paid, because they'd be getting a limited edition CD out of it. & it was a cracking show.

Quote from: OnlyRegisteredSoICanRead on October 14, 2018, 04:00:48 PM

3 seconds later DrGreggles grabbed the phone that photo was taken and smashed it.

Everyone in the audience clapped.

And the band gave him £100. And full marks on his test.

alan nagsworth

I'm aware that "it's expensive in that there London" but it's really quite annoying when a band/artist is on tour and you can see the steep increase in price for their London date.

Cake are touring and I'd really bloody love to see them, but it's £10 more expensive to see them here. £40 mate, for a gig at the fucking Electric Ballroom. They can eat my arsehole, I don't care how amazing their cover of I Will Survive is.

Icehaven

Quote from: alan nagsworth on October 17, 2018, 03:03:33 PM
I'm aware that "it's expensive in that there London" but it's really quite annoying when a band/artist is on tour and you can see the steep increase in price for their London date.

Cake are touring and I'd really bloody love to see them, but it's £10 more expensive to see them here. £40 mate, for a gig at the fucking Electric Ballroom. They can eat my arsehole, I don't care how amazing their cover of I Will Survive is.

It's like every audience member is covering their congestion charge for them.

Hey Spotify! When excitedly emailing me to announce that Paul Draper is playing a gig near me, please understand that I don't class a 2.5 hour drive to Bath as being "near". Thanks!

BlodwynPig

Paid 74 Canadian Dollars to see Steven Wilson here in Hamilton...fair enough, bit steep.

A couple of prog loving colleagues at work might like to join me - be good not to go alone for once.... price now? $140

hummingofevil

On subject of phones. Taking the odd photo is fine; filming is annoying but most gigs I go to no one seems to do it for more than a few seconds for the memories. However, checking your emails is as rude as it is depressing especially when act on stage are doing beautiful, moving, stripped down traditional folk songs. How silly.

Quote from: hummingofevil on October 19, 2018, 10:58:16 AM
On subject of phones. Taking the odd photo is fine; filming is annoying but most gigs I go to no one seems to do it for more than a few seconds for the memories. However, checking your emails is as rude as it is depressing especially when act on stage are doing beautiful, moving, stripped down traditional folk songs. How silly.

Went to see Placebo in Birmingham a few years back and the chap stood in front of me was on eBay, looking at old fashioned push-along lawnmowers and brown leather jackets for most of the show.

Molko told a girl, using lots of swears, to put her SLR camera away partway through the set for "ruining it for everyone". I'm like, "Down here, mate. Fucking scenes down here."