Doing A Crossword

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Have you ever done a crossword, because you've been a bit bored or something ? Maybe you've thought to yourself " should I do a sudoku ? Nah, fuck that, I'll do a crossword instead. ". Maybe you've tried doing a cryptic crossword, then thought " Crikey, this is a bit difficult. ", and started doing a quick crossword instead.

Post your tales of doing a crossword here.

[spamwangler]

Oh for fuck's sake, what a complete fucking waste of space, time, flesh, blood and bone fucking Lisa Jesusandmarychain is. Fucking middle aged man fucking acting like that. Fucking state of it

[Buelligan]

Never go to sleep on a crossword, that's the only rule I think.

[pancreas]

I do a crossword. Gecko does a crossword too. Today will be Listener day for Gecko. He likes to spend many hour with Chambers looking up old Scots words for knickers etc. I don't go that far, myself. Fuck that.

[Danger Man]

Is Chambers your butler?

[Replies From View]

No it's his dungeon.

He keeps his butler in there.

[Dex Sawash]

I like doing the Sunday NYT crossword, takes most of a week usually. Not arsed now because CaB distraction is too powerful. I still glance at it and see if I know more than about 10 of them right off but never do. My wife finishes them without reading the clues. There is something wrong with her.

[Vodka Margarine]

Used to regularly be able to complete the G2 quick crossword but then the clues started getting more general knowledge based, rather than something you could reasonably work out without googling. I enjoy a good Wordwheel and have become something of a Codeword ninja.

[Glebe]

Type of monkey (7 letters)

[Replies From View]

Type of monkey (7 letters)

GOSSAPE

[St_Eddie]

Type of monkey (7 letters)

YOURMUM

[Johnny Yesno]

LOLRAND

[gib]

Is Chambers your butler?

lolled

[Hobo With A Shit Pun]

Just did Quick crossword No 15,019 in 4 Min Fifty. Which is pish, to be fair. I'm out of practice, and by this time of day often frazzled and confused.

[thenoise]

Crosswords > Sudoku.  At least I can tell you to read me a clue or something if you are sitting their playing crosswords.  Sudoku I may as well leave the room.

[the]

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[Icehaven]

I always do the Private Eye crossword (even though I barely read the magazine anymore), because I want to win the £100. It gets easier once you've been doing it for a while as they use the same shorthand and repeat answers a lot.

[Norton Canes]

I eschewed my i crossword today in favour of a football-based puzzle I chanced across on the Guardian website

England, Tunisia, Belgium and Panama make up Group G. Imagine that once they have all played each other the table looks like this:

	F	A	Pts
England	7	1	9
Belgium	3	3	4
Tunisia	2	3	4
Panama	1	6	0

If you know only that England beat Tunisia 3-0, can you deduce the score of every other match in the group?


The answer of course is 'yes' but I was pleased with the way I worked it out because in the solution the setter at one point tests an assumption of one game's score, while I did it by working out the amount of goals in each game and didn't need to make any guesses.

[Cerys]

I always do the Private Eye crossword (even though I barely read the magazine anymore), because I want to win the £100. It gets easier once you've been doing it for a while as they use the same shorthand and repeat answers a lot.

I do the Eye crossword while while sitting on the loo, but I rarely remember to send it in.

[PowerButchi]

Crosswords are for Quentins. Dingbats are the real deal.

[Icehaven]

I do the Eye crossword while while sitting on the loo, but I rarely remember to send it in.

I'm convinced the reason I've never won is because I send it as a PDF file and they're all so fusty and Hislopish that even though they've chosen to provide an email address as well as postal, opening a PDF is just a step too far, so I've recently started putting it in the body of the email instead, so hopefully I'll win the moolah soon.

[Norton Canes]

I do the Eye crossword while while sitting on the loo, but I rarely remember to send it in

Ew.

[yesitsme]

I eschewed my i crossword today in favour of a football-based puzzle I chanced across on the Guardian website

England, Tunisia, Belgium and Panama make up Group G. Imagine that once they have all played each other the table looks like this:

	F	A	Pts
England	7	1	9
Belgium	3	3	4
Tunisia	2	3	4
Panama	1	6	0

If you know only that England beat Tunisia 3-0, can you deduce the score of every other match in the group?


The answer of course is 'yes' but I was pleased with the way I worked it out because in the solution the setter at one point tests an assumption of one game's score, while I did it by working out the amount of goals in each game and didn't need to make any guesses.

That's everything that's wrong with Crosswords/Sukudo/Puzzles/Life in General and their ilk.  it's just a big self-back-patting-exercise.  If you know the answer to Liam Can play for this Italian side then you know it.  Why write it down unless it's for everyone else to see and think how clever am you.

Gertcha.

Genuine clue in the Mirror Tea Break Quickie once.

Woof Woof! Not God, we hear (3).

Now that's genius!

edit - I'm not against you doing brain teasers per se.  I quite like having a bash at the kids' maths/language homework and the puzzle above wasn't made to be filled in a paper and left open at that page on a table when you left.

Perhaps that was the wrong example to pick on and I apologise.

Crosswords and Sukuodos though?  They can get tae.

[Neville Chamberlain]

I've graduated from sudokus to bukkakes!

[Norton Canes]

Perhaps that was the wrong example to pick on and I apologise

No that's OK, I just got a bit carried away cos I did a maths 

[Depressed Beyond Tables]

When Sudokus are too easy, and don't require enough lateral thinking, you may as well be doing an accountancy apprenticeship.

[willpurry]

I'm convinced the reason I've never won is because I send it as a PDF file and they're all so fusty and Hislopish that even though they've chosen to provide an email address as well as postal, opening a PDF is just a step too far, so I've recently started putting it in the body of the email instead, so hopefully I'll win the moolah soon.

To be sent by carriage and with a waxen seal, if you please.

[littlenell]

My mum in law taught me how to do cryptic crosswords on a Greek beach one afternoon five years ago.

I do them regularly, the Times is the easiest/best and makes you feel smug.

[Replies From View]

It is rubbish (8 letters)



Answer:  FOOTBALL

[Sexton Brackets Drugbust]

My mum in law taught me how to do cryptic crosswords on a Greek beach one afternoon five years ago.

I do them regularly, the Times is the easiest/best and makes you feel smug.

My gran was the only one who did cryptics in my family, until she taught me how they work. Now I'm the only one.

It gives me a similar smug feeling to solving a lateral thinking puzzle or adventure game.