CaB Dating

[Golden E. Pump]

Golden E., 31, seeks mostly metallic Argentinian female with whom I can listen to the music of George Michael.

[ziggy starbucks]

1 armed man seeks 3 armed woman to make me feel complete

[Alberon]

Barely sentient bucket full of offal seeks woman for romantic good times. A bonus if you have an arse like Felicity Kendal circa 1978, though I would prefer it if it was actually attached to your posterior region. Long story, but I've been tricked in the past.

[Neville Chamberlain]

Nev seeks vegan woman who'll have sex with him. Wife gave up five years ago :-(

[DrGreggles]

Fat man with own teeth and cock seeks a dirty lass for rumpy and/or pumpy on Monday nights when the missus is at her Spanish class.

[Shaky]

Mumbling, sweaty freak requires emotional and sexual sustenance from anywhere at all. Don't tell the wife!!!!

[seepage]

Primordial ooze seeks Avalon Hill fanatic who looks like Mango A.

[Mr Eggs]

Dirty little squat wanking gnome covered in piss and shit

I lost your number. Please message me. I really connected xxx

[Gregory Torso]

Lumpen male sliding into disrepair seeks woman with own tool-box and kind of eyes.

[New Jack]

Woke street rat w/ lust for power seeks harem for fritzlbasement. No blondes.

[Mr Eggs]

Golf-Bag Anus Really has nice eyes. Just too tall for me!!

Can't believe I just typed that. I'll regret it in the morning!

[Huxleys Babkins]

19 year old blonde saucepot seeks naïve wealthy man to validate my existence by giving me everything I want. Really tight arse. Will provide mindblowing sex for the first 18 months before we marry, have a baby and I never let you touch me again. Not a single hair on my body. Divorce will soon follow and you'll have to sell the Jag to pay for the settlement and child support. Breasts are so firm.

[Gregory Torso]

Stableboy seeks unstable girl for gelding and paddock frolics.

[Shit Good Nose]

Self pitying middle aged short slightly tubby male WLTM(*) someone.  Anyone.  Man, woman, fluid, whatever.

(* - Willy Length Ten Metres)

[zomgmouse]

Golden E., 31, seeks mostly metallic Argentinian female with whom I can listen to the music of George Michael.

Golden E. seeks Pump

[the midnight watch baboon]

Will you be my GWWAASOACTMMLTOHFAWTFTH*?

Girl who walks across a selection of Asda crisps then makes me lick them off her feet and whisper the flavours to her.

If so, I'll Karma you like it's 2015, lovertits.

[New Jack]

Will you be my GWWAASOACTMMLTOHFAWTFTH*?

Girl who walks across a selection of Asda crisps then makes me lick them off her feet and whisper the flavours to her.

If so, I'll Karma you like it's 2015, lovertits.

I'm more of a Morrison's transvestite