Thailand Cave Dwellers

[Better Midlands]

Can't they put fish bowls on their heads or something?

[St_Eddie]

When the first rescue diver arrived with a lamp, what % of the kids had their knob out?

It was hard to tell, what with all the stalagmites.

[Bazooka]

It was hard to tell, what with all the stalagmites.

Have a tub of karma for that. But in all seriousness, I really hope they all get out(obviously) and the coach isn't lynched, new tourist hotspot for this area so the mayor must be salivating.

[paruses]

Six out now. Excellent news.

I hope they're announcing them like a lottery drawer with a little bit of history as to when they were last seen.

[Edit: I think that's an AIOTM joke about the Chilean miners but it's nice for it to have another cause to use it.]

[Pijlstaart]

Think I'd wig out if I was trapped in a cave. There could be anything in there, cavemen obviously the nightmare scenario. Imagine trolling the cave sides for a port to charge your ipod shuffle and you find all these cave paintings. "Cavemen!", big and hairy and clubbed, fred flintstone looking ogre thing, probably immune to the claws of thai children. Calloused skin, poor kids'd need to clamber up the cave walls to launch themselves at his eyes, but even then he's cave-based, and his other senses are finely attuned. Without weapons you couldn't beat a caveman.

If I was a caveman I'd want to join the real world, and I'd have replaced one of the thai children in the darkness so divers would rescue me instead, that's the main danger now, and they could all be cavemen at this point.

[littlenell]

Think I'd wig out if I was trapped in a cave. There could be anything in there, cavemen obviously the nightmare scenario. Imagine trolling the cave sides for a port to charge your ipod shuffle and you find all these cave paintings. "Cavemen!", big and hairy and clubbed, fred flintstone looking ogre thing, probably immune to the claws of thai children. Calloused skin, poor kids'd need to clamber up the cave walls to launch themselves at his eyes, but even then he's cave-based, and his other senses are finely attuned. Without weapons you couldn't beat a caveman.

If I was a caveman I'd want to join the real world, and I'd have replaced one of the thai children in the darkness so divers would rescue me instead, that's the main danger now, and they could all be cavemen at this point.


The first thing I'd be on the lookout for is Gollum.

[littlenell]

Think I'd wig out if I was trapped in a cave. There could be anything in there, cavemen obviously the nightmare scenario. Imagine trolling the cave sides for a port to charge your ipod shuffle and you find all these cave paintings. "Cavemen!", big and hairy and clubbed, fred flintstone looking ogre thing, probably immune to the claws of thai children. Calloused skin, poor kids'd need to clamber up the cave walls to launch themselves at his eyes, but even then he's cave-based, and his other senses are finely attuned. Without weapons you couldn't beat a caveman.

If I was a caveman I'd want to join the real world, and I'd have replaced one of the thai children in the darkness so divers would rescue me instead, that's the main danger now, and they could all be cavemen at this point.

The first thing I'd be on the lookout for is Gollum.

[BlodwynPig]

The first thing I'd be on the lookout for is Gollum.

you can say that again

[a duncandisorderly]

The first thing I'd be on the lookout for is Gollum 'modify button'.

[newbridge]

Oh my word.. news breaking now that there was a trapdoor to the surface the entire time, just everybody forgot about it.

[Kelvin]

Oh my word.. news breaking now that there was a trapdoor to the surface the entire time, just everybody forgot about it.

And apparently the lift worked, but was being refurbished.

[greencalx]

The bbc news anchor just described a 40cm gap as "the length of one and a half loaves of bread". I'm expecting an Iannucci writing credit.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

The bbc news anchor just described a 40cm gap as "the length of one and a half loaves of bread". I'm expecting an Iannucci writing credit.

That's good news because according to this hot source that is sufficient to feed 856 people.

[St_Eddie]

And apparently the lift worked, but was being refurbished.

...More from Rod Serling, at Nine.

[Depressed Beyond Tables]

The bbc news anchor just described a 40cm gap as "the length of one and a half loaves of bread". I'm expecting an Iannucci writing credit.

Amateur. Everyone knows potholers use slices.

[St_Eddie]

Amateur. Everyone knows potholers use slices.

Everyone knows potheads use slices of bread, to gorge themselves... because they are stoned!  Ha ha ha.  Ha.  Ha?!  Stoners get the munchies, do they not?  It is funny, right?

[paruses]

The Guardian have made me look a fool by reporting 6 had come out. It looks like they added 2 and 4 to make it look better. This whole thing is making me surprisingly anxious.

I a not quite sure what Elon Musk's team have invented it seems to be a tube with some straps. As far as I can tell they have come up with nothing and had to spin it to their boss to save from being fired "the tube can also be used in space, Elon!":


https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1016110809662066688

https://bit.ly/2J5E7Ka

Elon Musk has shared video of his team testing out his small "kid-sized submarine", which he suggested as a potential solution for rescuing the trapped children, in a pool in LA.

Musk said the "mini-sub", which is towed by adult divers, weighed about 40kg, meaning it was "easy to carry on long dry sections of the cave" and then divers could add "diver weight belts wrapped around [the] outside" as ballast.

He also wrote: "With some mods, this could also work as an escape pod in space."

[The Boston Crab]

Maybe send in a few extreme YouTubers to live life to the full and maybe just maybe perish en route.

[paruses]

8 out now. That's good.

[Narongsak Osatanakorn] says the mission time is getting faster: rescuers have now shaved two hours off their initial estimate for the time it would take to ferry each boy out. The first operation today commenced at 11am and the first boy emerged around 4.30pm, according to some reports. That's about five-and-a-half hours, much less than the 11 hour round-trip some divers were making to the boys earlier this week.

Sounds like the original divers weren't really trying. By this time tomorrow they will be firing small boys out of the cave and having to catch them in a net.

[mothman]

^Add Richard Hammond found a half-arsed presenting job back in a UK studio, and you got Total Wipeout: Thai Cave Edition.

[paruses]

If you don't do it, Sky will....

[paruses]

Bit of grim foreshadowing for the unfortunate accident the coach is going to have, perhaps....

Will last 5 be released tomorrow?  "I can't tell. I am not in charge of this as it is up to the diving team. Their plan is designed for rescuing four." 

https://twitter.com/safimichael/status/1016331897838825479?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1016331897838825479&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.theguardian.com%2Fworld%2Flive%2F2018%2Fjul%2F09%2Fthai-cave-rescue-resumes-to-free-eight-boys-and-coach-still-trapped-latest-news

[Goldentony]

if my sons footy coach took my son and his mates into the fucking cave of certain demise i'd be absolutely made up and pissing myself when they got out in about 6 months having missed Christmas and all sorts, proper guffaw as they get pulled out on a fuck off bit of blue rope bought from the market and going "HAHAHAHA SEE THIS IS WHAT YOU GET ISNT IT HEY THAT'LL LEARN YOU TO FUCKING DO THINGS WONT IT YOU LITTLE DEPOSIT" and then put him in a headlock and go "HE'S COMIN FOR YOU! THE POLICEMANS HERE!"

[paruses]

^^ This is unarguably the correct response and the advice of parenting experts in the UK.

[Bhazor]

Reckon there's been any bumming in there? I mean its essentially the same atmosphere as a private boarding school. At least a mutual handy. At that age I would have drowned us all in semen within a week. Perhaps that would be a kinder way to go? I'm just asking questions here. I don't know the answers.

[Twit 2]

Apparently they've been asking for pork.

[The Bumlord]

They're all out. Cor.

[mothman]

Great news. Good to have any at all, it seems, these days.

[paruses]

Am very pleased about this but I don't know what I am going to obsess about now as I do not like football.

Not sure if the doctor and the SEALS are out now; hope there's not a last minute disaster. Very sad that one rescuer lost his life.

I saw that Man U have offered the boys a trip to Old Trafford. I hope they're all Arsenal or, even better, City fans.

I am also enjoying the backhanded comments Elon Musk is getting for his tube-with-straps invention - I like the pass-agg act of him leaving it by the cave in case it's needed.

[Trojan_Jockey]

This would make a great movie, if the kids weren't Thai.