Wanking to be legal from midnight tonight

[popcorn]

How will you celebrate?

[kittens]

i can't believe it's got this far. this is disgusting.

[Lemming]

Yeah, this is fucked up. Definitely won't be "celebrating", that's for sure. I was one of the first proponents of the LEGALISE WANKING movement, back when we were confined to niche dark-web communities and secret underground clubs that the police would raid, but now that it's actually getting legalised I can't help but wonder if we've taken everything slightly too far.

I mean I still support decriminalisation, but legalisation?

[Alberon]

I think you absolutely have to legalise wanking. If only to protect the general public from the evils of illegal extra-strong wanking that is out there.

[Mr Eggs]

This will kill the offshore wanking scene which pretty much funds the R.N.L.I.

[seepage]

Isn't it just for 24 hours though, like The Purge?

[just googled - can't believe it's up to a 4th one + TV series, ffs]

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

The midnight watch baboon stands guard.

[chveik]

Good god, I've been waiting this for years! Now I just need to learn how this whole wanking thingy works.

[popcorn]

Good god, I've been waiting this for years! Now I just need to learn how this whole wanking thingy works.

Apparently the government will be releasing instructions soon. Good news, as previously wankers have had to go by the advice of other wankers, which is sometimes dangerous.

[the midnight watch baboon]

The midnight watch baboon stands guard.

ASSUME YER NO.1 WANKING POSISH, YOOO 'ORRIBLE LITTLE LOT.

Who has the group jizz pot.

Has, not is.

[kittens]

not looking forward to work today

[Alberon]

Mine snapped off after a couple of tugs. Must have been doing it wrong.

[New Jack]

Meal out with the family

[poo]

Are you sure, because I've just been arrested for masturbating at my son's school sports day.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Are you sure, because I've just been arrested for masturbating at my son's school sports day.

Ah that's because it was a sports day.

These new laws need bedding in.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Hold up, it was illegal before?

BRB, just handing myself in to the nearest police station.

[The Bumlord]

Not only have I never masturbated in my 40 bald years on the planet, I have never so much as TOUCHED my penis.

Frightful little thing.