HIGH OCTANE MORTIMER & WHITEHOUSE: GONE FISHING

[Alberon]

Bob - D'ya want to see my scar again?

Paul - Put it away I— Wait a minute! I've got one.

Bob - Wow, it's a fighter! I'll get the net!

BANG!

Paul - What the fuck?

Bob - Look out! It's got a gun!

BANG, BANG!

Paul - Good thing it can't aim too well with those fins!

Bob - [grabs the AK-47 and unloads into the river] Take that, fucker! [Within seconds the trout is a just an expanding red mist in the river].

Paul - Tricky bastards! But they have to get up really early in the morning to beat me!

Bob - Can I show you me scar now?

Paul - [sighs] Okay.

[Slightly upstream three trout carefully aim the RPG. Their fallen comrade distracted the humans just long enough. A fin squeezes the trigger...]

[Gregory Torso]

Paul Whitehouse jumps into an ankle-deep stream, shouting "OOH! OOOOH! SUITS YOU SIR!" at a trout.

Bob Mortimer comes rolling over a hill inside a zorb with pen all over his face, his voice is muffled but he can just be heard screaming: "Is this what you want, you pricks? Is it? Nice gentle fishing programme not good enough for you? Well look at me I am Rick Stein! I am going to kill myself, I am the fisherman!"

Sorry this is terrible shit

[petril]

Chris Waddle cameo to the Larry Page cover of Zabadak

[Ferris]

Paul wades into the river holding 2 grenades sans pins.

Bob watches, and nods.

[Hecate]

Episode 4: "Rod my stent"

This week Tim Westwood pimps Pauls pacemaker, leading to a 400bpm anxiety attack next to a tree.

Bob makes his own pacemaker, christened "the mighty thumpsquelch" out of a car battery, some needles and a length of wire, and has fun chewing through nearby shrubbery.

later, the pish pulmonaried pair visit a massage parlour, have their chests cracked open and their hearts slowly massaged by Taiwanese virgin heart surgeons.

Then it's back to the riverbank for some more fishnet, long rod action!

Next week, Episode 5: "Fun-fuck my animal heart", Paul and Bob are force fed cocaine until something happens.

[Rocket Surgery]

*Bob sprints towards the camera juggling half a dozen burning chainsaws*


"This is what you wanted, right? Not so fucking funny now I ACTUALLY AM IN YOUR GARDEN AAHHHHH SNIPER'S DREAM CU..."


*multiple explosions, numerous fatalities, licence fee questioned*