Trying to get my wife to like music

[alan nagsworth]

bake a load of Chinese fortune cookies but with famous British comedy quotes or titles of songs she should check out instead of written fortunes.

reckon we could deffo capitalise on "fortune cookies that just tickle the shit out of you". birds love tickling so logically this should be well easy

[Gregory Torso]

I'm sorry, Torso, mate. I was just being a tit, and I didn't mean to offend you.

My own experiences in the relationships I've had wherein my own tastes in the arts differ from slightly to greatly to that of my partner are such that I've learned to not be all that arsed, on the whole. Music is an art form which really draws out one's truly obsessive tendencies and so to not see it reflected in a loved one can be difficult. That said, I've learned from experience that wanting to force something on someone, especially in a loving relationship, is trying. There's a part of this behaviour which may imply that you aren't already confident enough in the strength of your relationship, which could seem pretty abrasive, seeing as you're married and all.

Obviously all of this depends on several factors, such as how long you've been together/married, how much you've spoken frankly with them beforehand on why they don't particularly take a massive interest in the medium, and whatnot. It's fucking hard to believe, but some people just aren't all that fussed about music. I couldn't give much of a shit about poetry or opera, but if I'd come so far into a relationship where we're bound by marriage and in my own way I'd come to accept my partner's obsession with [insert type of opera here] but never openly said "you know what? maybe it's time I gave this opera lark a proper bash, where should I start?" then I'm not sure how I'd feel if I suddenly twigged that my partner was trying to condition me into appreciating something.

I do of course speak here with some sizeable experience of being a fucking lunatic obsessive and coming to accept that my partner can tolerate me loudly listening to Deerhoof while I cook for us, but will get a bit cold when I say "do you like this tune? you should listen to everything they've done since 2002 because it's pretty much like a hundred songs of pure gold".

It ain't easy, but it gets easier. Mostly these days my tastes are very self-contained, save for when I go to gigs with like-minded friends and we all come out beaming like mad cunts at the end of it. Music is a constant, ever-expanding delight to me, but for some folks, it just ain't.

I'm a bit drunk, so I hope this makes sense as both an apology and a proper analysis of the situation. Night!

No worries, mate. I'm not really offended, but behind all the pissing around I do, there's a serious issue at play in my own marriage, and it's not just about music, it's a widening chasm but that's for a different thread.

Fucking love Deerhoof and all.

[alan nagsworth]

No worries, mate. I'm not really offended, but behind all the pissing around I do, there's a serious issue at play in my own marriage, and it's not just about music, it's a widening chasm but that's for a different thread.

Fucking love Deerhoof and all.

I'm sorry to hear that. You'll always be heard here, though, and I hope whatever happens happens for the best. I'll duck out here, much love to ya x

[Goldentony]

Infallible songs include

Dennis Wilson - River Song
Bee Gees - Nights On Broadway
Erasure - A Little Respect
James Brown - it's A Mans Mans Mans Mans Mans Mans World
The Beat - Save It For Later
Roxy Music - Over You
Big Country - In A Big Country

If a person cannot enjoy these then learn how to identify flags or how to plaster or how to play Warhammer as fast as possible

[manticore]

A close friend of mine at school, let's call him Graham, because that's his name

Why did that line please me so much? I suppose it just did.

Adele. What exactly is wrong with Adele? Why does everyone hate her so much? She sings with sincerity and passion and your wife feels that. Buy your wife some more Adele. She likes it, and she's right. Then, like others have said, some more soul sung with fervour and zeal.

[boki]

Chinaman is racist? You are joking I presume?

It's certainly not the preferred nomenclature.

[Brundle-Fly]

You can't force these things. Maybe explore some Chinese music, play it round the house and see how she responds.

祝您好运气!

[a duncandisorderly]

my (spanish) mrs used to love music. she's got the equivalent of grade-8 on piano. her dad (retired now) played bass professionally & travelled the world with the spanish national orchestra. decent pension, that gig, incidentally. we had a lot in common as regards taste, though she couldn't stand the 'scratchy guitars' of (e.g.) sonic youth, nor the shoutiness of the beasties. she wants me, in the fullness of time, to export my london-based hifi, including big tannoys & several revox 1/4" machines, to our home in madrid. massive ipod library, all that.

BUT

since the kids happened, music is just noise. sometimes it's allowed, sometimes it isn't. like other here, I'm actually addicted, & become physically ill if I'm away from music for too long, & by too long I mean a matter of hours. I have to have it. I have also to be able to play- bass, guitar, keyboards- or I get at the very least quite nowty.

these days, if she's got any down-time at all, after a hard day's graft at a big american multinational media corporation in madrid, then trying to do stuff for her third degree (second with the OU), she'll binge-watch shite on netflix.

luckily (at least in this context) I'm in london for three weeks at a time.

cocteau twins. that'd be what I'd try.

[Johnny Textface]

No one NEEDS to listen to music. Sounds very hedonistic to me. Try listening to the world instead. Maybe have some music on as a treat occasionally.

[a duncandisorderly]

No one NEEDS to listen to music. Sounds very hedonistic to me. Try listening to the world instead. Maybe have some music on as a treat occasionally.

with the greatest of respect etc etc., that's bollocks.

[Johnny Textface]

with the greatest of respect etc etc., that's bollocks.

No it's not. Human beings don't need music. They need food and water and stuff but not music. I love music and listen very often, some people don't and prefer to do other stuff like play video games etc..

[Sebastian Cobb]

Stick on Willie and the Poor Boys.

[Gregory Torso]

Stick on Willie and the Poor Boys.

I think she's had enough of this poor boy's willy.