It's got to be plastic cheese. Hasn't it?

[Sebastian Cobb]

In Ireland it's Easi Singles all the way. They are even a generic trademark like Hoover or Sellotape. Irish people never ask for American cheese or small squares or processed cheese, it's always Easi Singles please.

I'm sure one of my Irish mates, after visiting his folks produced what appeared to be cheese in a cardboard box and gave it to another pal as they'd asked him to bring some back. It didn't look like it was meant to be refrigerated.

[Clownbaby]

Oh, is that what they call brown cheese? I remember it being mentioned on an episode of Lilyhammer and it confused me. Brown cheese? etc.

There was a girl at my school who always had brown cheese in her lunch. She knew I was curious about what it was and wouldn't let me try any. She had loads of it, greedy cow.  Could've given me a small corner.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Are you sure it was even cheese? It could have come out of her arse.

[Clownbaby]

I went to try the KFC double down before. Unfortunately Carlisle KFC is atrocious and none of the employees seem to know how to piece a sandwich of 2 pieces of meat together, so I got a sweaty burrito bag of soggy chicken with all the batter separated from it, churned up with the BBQ sauce, cheese and bacon into an absolute mess. The place really needs to get itself sorted. Luckily we got our money back and they weren't total dicks about it.

Every time I get a sandwich from there it's a completely different combination of ingredients, even if I get the same sandwich. Ketchup or mayonnaise or ketchup and mayonnaise or salad cream tasting mayonnaise that is too cold and makes the sandwich cold, or some different kind of peppery mayonnaise

[im barry bethel]

I tried grilling that once and it didn't melt it just got burned patches. Like it had an outer sleeve or it had been laminated or something.

That's the thin sheets of plastic plastic they layer between the cheese plastic

[mothman]

I had a Double Down! Bit meh. Should just serve it in a cardboard box like the tower burger. Rather then wrapped in that paper-backed foil and served in a little cardboard holder. Way too much plastic cheese, not enough barbecue sauce.

[checkoutgirl]

I had a Double Down! Bit meh.

Yeah there's no balance to it, it's completely dominated taste wise by a load of white chicken. It's awkward to eat out of that sleeve. I'd never have another one. Totally overrated.

[boki]

Yeah, the Double Down's a bit of a swizz, really.  You'd be better off getting the crunchy strips from your local bossman for about half the price.

[Clownbaby]

I don't understand why they don't just put the Double Down in a fuckin box. It's would have been fine. It shouldn't be possible to fuck up putting a piece of chicken on top of another piece of chicken.

There was an absolute ocean of BBQ sauce on mine, and the cheese had clearly not even originally been put in the middle of the 2 chicken bits because it was squashed around the bottom. There was 1 small bit of bacon and the batter had literally peeled right off the chicken because it was so waterlogged. As I live and breathe my local KFC needs to get its shit together

AAAAAAAAHHH I'm getting all mad thinking about this Double Down again

[Shit Good Nose]

Way too much plastic cheese, not enough barbecue sauce.

Whereas I think the opposite.


The Double Downs are lovely if they do the vouchers where you got one free with certain meals like they did last time.

[mothman]

Well, I wanted to try one and I have. I wasn't expecting anything profound, it's still two battered chicken breasts sandwiching bacon and cheese. I'm now wondering if it was inspired by saltimbocca...

I'm still laid up at home but am more mobile now for brief periods, so since it's just me and MrsMoth here today (she works from home, and the school hols start tomorrow for one of ours) I suggested lunch. She only has a half hour so we went to Subway, which I do like in moderation even though they're probably evil. MrsMoth was surprised they toast the filling to melt the plastic cheese, whdereas I thought they always had...

[Clownbaby]

I would have been fine with the simpleness of the Double Down if I'd actually been presented with a functioning Double Down and not a predigested one

[mothman]

Perhaps we need to make our own: I don't think they sell battered chicken breasts on their own as part of the other buckets or whatever, but if they did, all we need to do is take along some plastic cheese, some packets of cooked bacon, barbecue sauce, and a blowtorch to melt the cheese. I suggest this be the centrepiece of any Bristol meet (not that one ever happens).

[Sebastian Cobb]

I can't say I find KFC or nandos all that because baked chicken thighs and hot sauce are my goto 'fuck it, can't be arsed' meal.

[Clownbaby]

Nandos is an absolute waste of money when you can literally get the sauce in the shop, buy as much cheap chicken pieces as you want, smother them in the sauce (and it goes a long way) and you're sorted. Fuckin £8 for half a butterfly chicken and some cherry tomatoes, jog on.

And they're really annoying at the till, asking you so many damn questions while you're trying to say your order (I've found anyway, the whole 3 times I've been there)

AND at my one the sauce dispenser is right by the tills so I can't fill a bottle with free sauce without them seeing so it doesn't even have that going for it

[Shit Good Nose]

KFC is my favourite of all the big fast food chains (including those, like Five Guys, who would like to think they're on a higher level but aren't really [although I do like Five Guys as well - sorry]), despite how awful both the company and the food objectively are.  I once went to a proper posh restaurant that did its own take on a Tower Burger (you can guess - free range chicken from a rare breed, panko breadcrumbs, imported pancetta, homemade sourdough bun etc), and it was nice but just not the same.  It just made me want to go to KFC.

Nando's is alright, but it's one of those places like Dominoes and Subway that do offers and vouchers so regularly you're an idiot if you go in and pay full price.

[mothman]

I've never seen the appeal of Nando's. Eldest quite likes them but she's of that generation, her and her friends meet up at the Mall to mooch round the shops, and go have lunch in Nando's; it makes them feel grown-up I guess.

[Shit Good Nose]

I've never seen the appeal of Nando's. Eldest quite likes them but she's of that generation, her and her friends meet up at the Mall to mooch round the shops, and go have lunch in Nando's; it makes them feel grown-up I guess.

Not like it was in our day - couple of films at Cribbs Vue, waste a shitload of money and go deaf (but marvel at the modesty barriers either side of the urinals) at Dave and Busters, rounded off by sinking a few cans of Natch whilst being stared at by the regulars in The Britannia at Westbury-on-Trym.

[checkoutgirl]

I've never seen the appeal of Nando's.

Me neither. Plain white chicken and hot sauce that's got no depth to it. You're as well off cooking a breast of chicken and sprinkling liberally with tabasco sauce. But the place does good business. Can't work it out meself.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Thighs are cheaper and better than breasts, hth.

[Clownbaby]

I've always thought Nandos sauce has a fairly good taste and depth. When I cook Nandos at home I sometimes add preserved lemons which make everything delicious.

Tabasco on the other hand, I can't find anything that its strange vinegary taste actually goes with other than prawns.

[im barry bethel]

Me neither. Plain white chicken and hot sauce that's got no depth to it. You're as well off cooking a breast of chicken and sprinkling liberally with tabasco sauce. But the place does good business. Can't work it out meself.

Only been once and that was because we won a voucher at the school fete. The place seemed full of older teenagers in couples and pairs (with a definite 25 age cut-off), maybe it's popular with that lot who think it's a step of refinement up from Macdonalds.



In other plastic cheese news we were in a Marston's pub last night and one of the nippers at another table was complaining his bun had grated cheese not 'burger cheese'

[mothman]

Never order anything else from the menu at a McDs only the double cheeseburger.  The rest is complete trash (maybe MAYBE a Filet fish).

Bumping this because I did subsequently try a double cheeseburger and... no. Just no. It was this unpleasant wedge of minced meat and cheese. At least with the single cheeseburger you get a perfect ratio of meat, cheese and garnish.

More importantly though, while in Athens I tried Mcdonalds Greece's Big Mac anniversary edition: the Double Big Mac!



It had all the structural integrity problems you'd expect.

[Shit Good Nose]

Bumping this because I did subsequently try a double cheeseburger and... no. Just no. It was this unpleasant wedge of minced meat and cheese. At least with the single cheeseburger you get a perfect ratio of meat, cheese and garnish.

More importantly though, while in Athens I tried Mcdonalds Greece's Big Mac anniversary edition: the Double Big Mac!



It had all the structural integrity problems you'd expect.

Did it look anything like that picture, or was it just like bread, meat shapes, lettuce and sauce had a drunken fight in a cardboard box?

[mothman]

It looked... similar. But impossible to eat without falling apart.