It's got to be plastic cheese. Hasn't it?

[Sebastian Cobb]

The garage. Well, la-di-da, Mr. Frenchman!

new thread/car hole prick.

[Hecate]

What's all this double cheeseburger crap?
have you lot never tried a big mac?

Gonna buy a double cheeseburger next time, I don't know if I've ever had one.
I've had a cheeseburger, I'm imagining it's just like that but moreso?

[Sebastian Cobb]

Think the best burger I ever had was from a chippy near stonehaven. My mate put me onto it - he'd got i down to a fine art.
Salad, sauce, one burger battered, one not, cheese. 

[steve98]

This is a proper burger.

[steve98]

With marg/spread.

[Hecate]

That's a "sausage roll" in Scotland, as I found out to my cost.
Fucking savages.

[mothman]

For a truly epic burger, try the Hungry Man at Rozel in Jersey.

[Clownbaby]

I really fuckin love the classic menu burgers they have at McDonald's now. It's like a direct combination of the strange addictive greasy floppiness of your standard McDonald's burger but trying to be posh, with mustard mayo, red onion and BRIOCHE ROLL. Because posh burgers have brioche rolls n shit

[nedthemumbler]

I went briefly insane last weekend and had a craving for some Mcdonald's grease/slurry.  Ended up with one of those posh versions you mention, The Spicy :

100% British and Irish beef, jalapeño slices, Pepper Jack cheese, lettuce, hot & spicy Mayo and a spicy relish, all in a soft brioche-style bun

Cost over six quid along with some chips and (badly mixed) coke.  No ketchup to be had so ducked into a pub to pilfer some.  Felt ill, gave myself a talking to.

If you are gonna eat crap eat crap, not brioche flavoured crap.  So plastic cheese, I'm in.



My next mission, find the correct arcane combination of requests and specifications that enables you to leave a Subway sandwich artist's begloved company holding something you may actually want to eat.

[Clownbaby]

People always talk about McDonald's making them feel ill. I always feel a bit sick after I've been to Subway. I don't like the way Subway works. You've got a menu, you specify what you want on the menu - "can I have the spicy Italian please?" - then they ask you what you want in it, which seems redundant if you've asked for a particular menu item that they should know. That means you could ask for the Spicy Italian and then proceed to get it with tuna mayo and sweetcorn and olives added if you wanted, which means there doesn't even need to be a menu cause even if you specify a particular sandwich you want, you still have to go through the process of describing what you want in it. "Do you want pepperoni?" Well yeah that's part of the spicy Italian that I just pointed at is it not? "Do you want it heated up?" Nah its alright. "What so you want it cold? It's not supposed to be cold." If it's not supposed to be cold then what is the point of making it sound like an option?

I mean it's fine for if you want your own made up sandwich, for them to ask you what you want, but you'd think the menu would be a quick option for people who literally want one of the basic pre-made combinations. I'm overthinking this a bit

[Nice Relaxing Poo]

I once ate Subway for lunch every day for 2 weeks. The smell of the place turns my stomach now but I'm not sure what the cause of the smell is.

[Clownbaby]

I once ate Subway for lunch every day for 2 weeks. The smell of the place turns my stomach now but I'm not sure what the cause of the smell is.

Yeah it's a weird smell innit. I think it's the Italian herb buns and heated up mayonnaise

[Dex Sawash]

Yeah it's a weird smell innit. I think it's the Italian herb buns and heated up mayonnaise

They smelled that way even when there were just two bread choices, white and wheat.

[Clownbaby]

They smelled that way even when there were just two bread choices, white and wheat.

That's weird. I wonder what the herby undertone was then

[Nice Relaxing Poo]

Found an article about it:

https://www.chowhound.com/food-news/86822/why-do-subway-restaurants-smell-awful/

From the comments section:

Subway was my first job and the reek of that place didn't leave my uniform even after numerous washes and airing out on the deck. We determined back then that it was the fake parmesan in the Italian Herbs and Cheese mix combined with the little frozen bread loaves that would stink once the tray got pulled out of the "proofer", a glass box of sorts with an old tray of water sitting in the bottom of it. The intense humidity in there combined with the fake cheese and preservative-ladden bread emitted an intense, very unpleasant smell

[checkoutgirl]

I don't know what it is, but proper cheese never tastes right to me in a burger.  It always, ALWAYS, has to be plastic cheese.

For me the better the burger the better the cheese. McDonalds double cheeseburger, cheap cheeze squares are perfect, they melt nicely and suit it just fine. Sirloin steak burger on a brioche bun? I prefer bitter cheddar or red Leicester, something with a sharp bite to it.

So the cheaper the burger the cheaper the cheese.

[Ferris]

[tag]Fake Plaaaaaastic Cheese[tag]

[Clownbaby]

Found an article about it:

https://www.chowhound.com/food-news/86822/why-do-subway-restaurants-smell-awful/

From the comments section:

I'm never working there. I worked at a factory over the summer for a few months 2 years ago and I absolutely hated being put on the line where they made Marks & Spencer's vegetarian Kievs. It was a repulsive vegetable mix with peppers in it and it smelled so bitter and cloying, combined with the garlic and herb frozen butter we had to squash this sludge around it was absolutely repulsive and lingered all in my hair. Grim

[checkoutgirl]

have you lot never tried a big mac?

My favourite burger.

[checkoutgirl]

That's a "sausage roll" in Scotland,

A roll and sausage, no?

[Shit Good Nose]

This is a proper burger.

Two things wrong with that:
1 - butter/spread!?!?!?
2 - where are the onions that have been frying for 6 hours??

You're likely to get a knee in the balls from a Weegie for those errors.

And yes - roll and sausage, as checkoutgirl says.

[Ferris]

^lorne sausage inna bun

[mothman]

My wife loves the McDs Signature Classic & Barbecue burgers, has one if she takes the kids there. But they're vile, to me, and she always complains if they don't build them right (which is 90% of the time). I don't see the point of them at all; or indeed the use of brioche buns. I quite like the Big Tasty when they do it, though it is at best a pale imitation of the way Burger King used to be.

Did anyone try the XL Big Mac they did recently? I thought it'd be OK, but truth was it fell apart too easily and it was always not warm enough, nearly cold.

[Sebastian Cobb]

With marg/spread.

No tattie scone. I'm out.

[pancreas]

I can't read all this because I know what peasants you mostly are and I need to insulate myself from the predictably abject food philistinism.

However, I want to affirm that the answer is of course 'no'. The right thing to use is Gruyère or Comté. I note that Blumencunt did use some sort of citrate product to make a plastic version of one of these for his Blumencunt's Perfect Burger.

There is a lot of 'smash burgery' going on at the moment, in food markets, food vans etc. They steam the cheese on. Having mostly cooked the burgers, they squeeze some water on the grill, put the cheese on the patty and put a saucepan lid over the lot to melt the cheese.

Those are all the things I know.

[Ferris]

I can't read all this because I know what peasants you mostly are and I need to insulate myself from the predictably abject food philistinism.

However, I want to affirm that the answer is of course 'no'. The right thing to use is Gruyère or Comté. I note that Blumencunt did use some sort of citrate product to make a plastic version of one of these for his Blumencunt's Perfect Burger.

There is a lot of 'smash burgery' going on at the moment, in food markets, food vans etc. They steam the cheese on. Having mostly cooked the burgers, they squeeze some water on the grill, put the cheese on the patty and put a saucepan lid over the lot to melt the cheese.

Those are all the things I know.

Fancy not using jarlsberg, instead opting for an objectively inferior comté. Embarrassing!

[Shit Good Nose]

There is a lot of 'smash burgery' going on at the moment, in food markets, food vans etc. They steam the cheese on. Having mostly cooked the burgers, they squeeze some water on the grill, put the cheese on the patty and put a saucepan lid over the lot to melt the cheese.

That comes from the very old/original way of cooking burgers when they first got popular in the States in the late 1800s/early 1900s.  You can argue who/which restaurant first did a burger, at least as we know them today (Europeans were eating flattened mince shapes for years before), but most of them were done the same way - the patties mostly cooked in a steamer and then finished off on a grill (sorry - "broiler") with a cover over it to melt the cheese.  There are a few places dotted around that still cook burgers exactly the same way (I'm pretty sure White Castle still cooked them like that when we went to San Fracisco in 2004), and one in either New York or New Jersey (I forget which) which still uses the same steamer and broiler from when it first opened.

[king_tubby]

Steamed hams?

[mothman]

Our canteen I reckon does some sort on boiling for their burgers, then they're briefly shown a flame, on days when we have outdoor barbecues.

[Shit Good Nose]

Steamed hams?

Mmmmm!  Steamed hams!