Author Topic: My 8 year old daughter learns her first swear word  (Read 1737 times)

Shit Good Nose

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My 8 year old daughter learns her first swear word
« on: July 12, 2018, 09:59:45 AM »
Settling little Nose for bed last night and she was reading a Horrid Henry book and right in the middle of a sentence she stopped and said "I'm not going to say the F word!"  Being that this was Horrid Henry I naturally assumed that F-word to be "fart", so I just said "it's never bothered you saying it before", so she then said "okay,I'll whisper it to you".  Playing along, still not thinking anything of it, I leaned in and she whispered "fuck".  My immediate response was to think where and why the fuck does it say "fuck" in a Horrid Henry book?!?!?  So I took the book off her and started scanning the page she was on.  "Noooooooo" she said.  Turns out Jaden told it to her and a couple of her mates at morning break time.

Couldn't hide my giggles, which were a mixture of genuine amusement, shock and surprise, mainly because it was so unexpected.

Just "cunt" to go now and she'd have the worst two sewn up.

greencalx

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Re: My 8 year old daughter learns her first swear word
« Reply #1 on: July 12, 2018, 10:01:59 AM »
She got to 8 before swearing? Well done.

When mine was about three, I was leaving the house and managed to stop myself at the "s" of "Oh shit!". Didn't stop the blighter going "Shit! Shit! Shit! Daddy!" at the top of his voice in front of all the neighbours...

ETA: Now he's very puritanical, and if I mutter something under my breath when he's upstairs I get "That was a naughty word". I was given permission to use bad words when Croatia scored last night, bless 'im.

Shit Good Nose

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Re: My 8 year old daughter learns her first swear word
« Reply #2 on: July 12, 2018, 10:11:45 AM »
I did once shout cunt when someone dangerously cut me up on a B road and she did repeat it, but I'm pretty sure she was only copying the sound - she was younger than 3 and hasn't uttered it since.

Re: My 8 year old daughter learns her first swear word
« Reply #3 on: July 12, 2018, 10:20:20 AM »
I'm getting pretty sick of jaden's bullshit tbh. that kid's way off the rails.

machotrouts

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Re: My 8 year old daughter learns her first swear word
« Reply #4 on: July 12, 2018, 10:30:44 AM »
I somehow got to 15 or thereabouts before I ever knowingly heard the word "cunt", and I grew up in Scotland. I'm a BBFC wank fantasy

Re: My 8 year old daughter learns her first swear word
« Reply #5 on: July 12, 2018, 10:45:21 AM »
Late developer eh?

Beagle 2

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Re: My 8 year old daughter learns her first swear word
« Reply #6 on: July 12, 2018, 10:48:43 AM »
Out of order Jaden

There's kids

Blumf

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Re: My 8 year old daughter learns her first swear word
« Reply #7 on: July 12, 2018, 10:57:50 AM »
Looking after my sister's 3 y.o. kid, he was playing with one of those shape sorters, pushing the blocks through, mumbling under his breath "get in you bastard"

Re: My 8 year old daughter learns her first swear word
« Reply #8 on: July 12, 2018, 11:14:43 AM »
A while back my 4yr old heard me proclaim 'FUCKING JESUS!' at some bad driving and started to use it periodically. I explained to him that I had merely said 'funny cheeses' but he gave me that look a 4 year old gives you when they've just realised their dad is a goober.

gib

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Re: My 8 year old daughter learns her first swear word
« Reply #9 on: July 12, 2018, 12:44:14 PM »
6yr old daughter knows all the swears but the other day we were stunned by Christ The Redeemer! until she explained they'd been learning about Rio at school. Me and the missus now use that one all the time.

The Lurker

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Re: My 8 year old daughter learns her first swear word
« Reply #10 on: July 12, 2018, 01:18:23 PM »
I don't have any kids but I have been told the story, many times, of my first swear word. It was bastard and when my dad asked where I'd heard that word I said something like, "It's what Eddie calls Richie on Bottom." Fun fact for you all there.

I can only assume that I had been watching repeats of it though, as I was only 1 (and a half) when the show finished.

Shit Good Nose

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Re: My 8 year old daughter learns her first swear word
« Reply #11 on: July 12, 2018, 01:19:04 PM »
Looking after my sister's 3 y.o. kid, he was playing with one of those shape sorters, pushing the blocks through, mumbling under his breath "get in you bastard"

I like this one.  Assume he had a look of utter concentration and sheer determination whilst doing it, and didn't have an air of "oohh, naughty swear!" when he said it.

Lemming

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Re: My 8 year old daughter learns her first swear word
« Reply #12 on: July 12, 2018, 01:26:06 PM »
When I was about 5 or 6, my treacherous cousins (in their teens) coached me into saying something along the lines of "I am a motherfucker and so are you" and sent my oblivious arse off to say the phrase to my grandma, who didn't see the funny side of it at all.

Re: My 8 year old daughter learns her first swear word
« Reply #13 on: July 12, 2018, 02:11:41 PM »
He couldn't quite pronounce it but I remember in Child of Our Time the venom and perfect timing of a little 1 or 2 year old boy calling his mum a "BISSCH" as he was in his high chair.

This was meant to be a sad example of his troubled single parent upbringing overhearing his mum & dad fighting, but it was also absolutely hilarious. Wish I could find the clip.

Twed

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Re: My 8 year old daughter learns her first swear word
« Reply #14 on: July 12, 2018, 02:51:26 PM »
Just "cunt" to go now and she'd have the worst two sewn up.
"Daddy, I've learned the C-word!"
"Aww, go on you little tike, whisper it to me."
"Coon."

Hobo With A Shit Pun

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Re: My 8 year old daughter learns her first swear word
« Reply #15 on: July 12, 2018, 03:16:54 PM »
"Daddy, I've learned the C-word!"
"Aww, go on you little tike, whisper it to me."
"Coon."

And big, beautiful cats they are, too.

Kelvin

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Re: My 8 year old daughter learns her first swear word
« Reply #16 on: July 12, 2018, 03:30:24 PM »
A co-worker once told me about the time her young son asked what 'oral sex' was. They were in the car, and she didn't want to evade the question, so she basically described the act, with copious use of the word 'love'.

'Oh, so just a blowie', her son concluded.

QDRPHNC

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Re: My 8 year old daughter learns her first swear word
« Reply #17 on: July 12, 2018, 03:46:08 PM »
A few years ago, Q Jr. told me that he'd learned the worst swear word ever at school that day. I asked him what it was. He wouldn't say it. When pressed, he said it began with K. Now even more curious, I encouraged him to spell it for me, and told him he wouldn't get in trouble.

K - L - A - T

Blumf

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Re: My 8 year old daughter learns her first swear word
« Reply #18 on: July 12, 2018, 03:59:43 PM »
A few years ago, Q Jr. told me that he'd learned the worst swear word ever at school that day. I asked him what it was. He wouldn't say it. When pressed, he said it began with K. Now even more curious, I encouraged him to spell it for me, and told him he wouldn't get in trouble.

K - L - A - A - T - U


Isnt Anything

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Re: My 8 year old daughter learns her first swear word
« Reply #19 on: July 12, 2018, 04:07:38 PM »
A few years ago, Q Jr. told me that he'd learned the worst swear word ever at school that day. I asked him what it was. He wouldn't say it. When pressed, he said it began with K. Now even more curious, I encouraged him to spell it for me, and told him he wouldn't get in trouble.

K - L - A - T

:)

Could it have been in another language ?

Re: My 8 year old daughter learns her first swear word
« Reply #20 on: July 12, 2018, 04:23:48 PM »
A few years ago, Q Jr. told me that he'd learned the worst swear word ever at school that day. I asked him what it was. He wouldn't say it. When pressed, he said it began with K. Now even more curious, I encouraged him to spell it for me, and told him he wouldn't get in trouble.

K - L - A - T

Some sweary bullshitter told us he'd heard an even worse one than cunt beginning with g but it was so bad he dare not repeat it.

28 I was, etc.

Re: My 8 year old daughter learns her first swear word
« Reply #21 on: July 12, 2018, 05:03:54 PM »
as a wee lad i called my dad a "nonce" because i'd heard it on the sweeney so he smashed my ribs in (like on the sweeney.)



Re: My 8 year old daughter learns her first swear word
« Reply #22 on: July 12, 2018, 05:06:17 PM »
3D words - is what my mate's boy called swears when he was about 6.

im barry bethel

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Re: My 8 year old daughter learns her first swear word
« Reply #23 on: July 12, 2018, 05:10:39 PM »
Give it a few years then go to use their laptop and find they've left their Skype open and find out all the swears they know and what they really think of you.

machotrouts

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Re: My 8 year old daughter learns her first swear word
« Reply #24 on: July 12, 2018, 05:18:40 PM »
My mum calls me a nonce. She only knows it as meaning "fool". Like, if I trip over or something, she'll go "Tom, you daft nonce!". I told her what it meant once, and she didn't believe me. "Oh, god! Where have you read that? That's not true at all." So she still keeps calling me a nonce.

Blumf

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Re: My 8 year old daughter learns her first swear word
« Reply #25 on: July 12, 2018, 05:43:41 PM »
My mum calls me a nonce. She only knows it as meaning "fool". Like, if I trip over or something, she'll go "Tom, you daft nonce!". I told her what it meant once, and she didn't believe me. "Oh, god! Where have you read that? That's not true at all." So she still keeps calling me a nonce.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cryptographic_nonce

Re: My 8 year old daughter learns her first swear word
« Reply #26 on: July 12, 2018, 06:09:02 PM »
you've not lived unless you've sat in a house while a toddler jogs around letting out measured fucks for about forty minutes without a break

Twed

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Re: My 8 year old daughter learns her first swear word
« Reply #27 on: July 12, 2018, 06:15:43 PM »
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cryptographic_nonce
I work with nonces every week. I also get to enjoy saying the word liberally because my coworkers are mostly American and don't know.

Re: My 8 year old daughter learns her first swear word
« Reply #28 on: July 12, 2018, 06:18:31 PM »
I still snigger when I see that and it was even worse when I was a computer science.

There was even a US rapper called 'the nonce'

My mum once called me a twat when I'd done something minor and I asked whether she meant 'twit'. She just replied with a deadpan 'no.'

machotrouts

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Re: My 8 year old daughter learns her first swear word
« Reply #29 on: July 12, 2018, 06:20:55 PM »
Fuckin hate cryptographic paedos