Stupid lyrics

[Clownbaby]

I was listening to Robyn the other day. In the song Konichiwa Bitches she says "hammer ya toe / like a paediatrician." Yeah the whole song is kind of ditzy and campy but a paediatrician is child doctor not a foot doctor, ROBYN.

ROBYN.

[Phoenix Lazarus]

In What's Up, by Four Non-blondes: "I'm feeling a little peculiar."

[Sebastian Cobb]

[tag]Desirée leaves thread looking sheepish[/tag]

[manticore]

In What's Up, by Four Non-blondes: "I'm feeling a little peculiar."

I am not understanding why that is stupid.

[non capisco]

I realise Vanilla Ice is low hanging fruit but his opening salvo to the world "Alright, stop! Collaborate and listen" was obviously meant to be "Alright, stop! Congregate and listen". He later went on to think the foodstuff hummus had some kind of official connection with the Sunni-Islamist fundamentalist organisation Hamas. This happened on Channel 5 reality show 'The Farm', the one where someone whose name escapes me wanked off a pig. "I ain't eating that terrorist shit!" he said. I dunno if he was put up to saying that by ruthless Channel 5 executives who wanted to paint him as a halfwit or if he genuinely is somewhat of a prong. But he definitely meant 'congregate and listen' on that one occasion and no-one in his V.I.P (Vanilla Ice Posse) crew was bold enough to put him straight. Wicked Darren, Smarmy Chri$, DJ Always Down Da Bookies, Ba$hful Matthew featuring The Human Eel, Wizadora, Da 1 Who Looks Like Char£es Dance, Dog$ Die In Hot Car$, Diarrhoea Boi..... all held their tongues.

[Sgt. Duckie]

Slowly walking down the hall, faster than a cannonball.

[Dr Rock]

 A cannonball is stationary most of the time.

[Sebastian Cobb]

In ice cubes it was a good day he makes a point of saying 'And momma cooked a breakfast with no hog' as if that's good. Every good breakfast has pork in it.

[machotrouts]

"If this is love, then I don't wanna know what is."

The Saturdays – If This Is Love.

[DukeDeMondo]

"Black Skinhead" or "BLKKK SKKKN HEAD" or whatever you want to call it is obviously fucking blinding, like, but...

"They say I'm possessed, it's an Omen"

...always makes me wince. It's clearly a reference to The Omen - Genius agrees with me on this - but The Omen isn't about possession, is it, it's about the Antichrist. It's The Exorcist he's thinking of. It's not The Omen at all. The Omen is no more to do with possession than I am.

Dunno what he could do about it, like. If he wanted to pull a "Wolves" on it. Dunno. 

"They say I'm possessed, it's a The Exorcist"

"They say I'm possessed, whereas the wean in The Omen wasn't possessed"

"They say I'm possessed. But, changing the subject for a moment: The Omen"

Dunno.

Incidentally, the next line:

"I keep it 300, like the Romans"

...doesn't bother me at all, although it did at a time. "300 isn't about the Romans! For Jesus sake! God, what a howler! For crying out Christmas! You've got your ancients in all of a pigeon!" Genius agreed with me on that too.

But he's not talking about 300 the film. As folk less thick than I pointed out, he means he's keeping it CCC - Calm, Cool and Collected. 300. CCC. Calm, Cool, and Collected.

Fuck all to do with 300 the film. Fuck all to do with it. It was me was pulling a doh! the whole time there. I'll hold my hands up to that for anyone.

[rue the polywhirl]

Slowly walking down the hall, faster than a cannonball.

This is one of those lyrics that are ostensibly non-sensical yet also innately makes perfect sense. Incredibly deft and non-stupid clash of imagery.

"If this is love then I don't want to know what it is" is just plain proper dumb.

[non capisco]

That bit in 'Up The Junction' by Squeeze where he takes his pregnant girlfriend "down to an incubator" and "thirty minutes later she gave birth to a daughter". What, the mother went into an adult sized incubator in order to give birth to a healthy child? What kind of bizarro cockamamie Tex Avery upside down cuckoo hospitals do they have in Clapham?

[biggytitbo]

If we could make chains with the morning dew
The world would be like Galway Bay
Let's walk over rainbows like leprechauns
The world would be one big Blarney stone

[shiftwork2]

Slowly walking down the hall, faster than a cannonball.

And Noel would have taken the afternoon of after he came up with that, thinking he'd nailed their Moonlight Mile.

[DrGreggles]

"Gonna manage my time, just like Johann Cryuff"

Might be genius lyrics actually.

[Sebastian Cobb]

You got a sweet tongue
You sing love songs
Can't you learn to spell?
Take me back home
You got it all wrong
'Cos we sing that as well

Ridiculous and name dropping yourself, but still stomping.

[newbridge]

Slowly walking down the hall, faster than a cannonball.

I was going to defend this as being a deliberately paradoxical and meant to invoke a state of mind, but then I stumbled upon Noel Gallaghar talking about it:

But some of the words are about nothing. One is about Bracket The Butler who used to be on Camberwick Green, or Chipley or Trumpton or something. He used to take about 20 minutes to go down the hall. And then I couldn't think of anything that rhymed with 'hall' apart from 'cannonball'. so I wrote 'Slowly walking down the hall/ Faster than a cannonball' and people were like, 'Wow, man'. There's also the line 'Where were you while we were getting high?' because that's what we always say to each other.

[boki]

I'd always assumed that was about how psychedelics messed with your perception of time (or so I've heard, ahem), especially given the line that follows it.  Is Noel basically an idiot savant? 

This:

And then I couldn't think of anything that rhymed with 'hall' apart from 'cannonball'

is totally how 'Wonderwall' was written, too.  That one reads like it's entirely full of placeholder lyrics.

[lebowskibukowski]

Do we need a separate thread for Chris Martin lyrics?

[boki]

Do we need a separate thread for Chris Martin lyrics?

That was when I rued the words.

[bgmnts]

Fucking hell that is woeful.

[alan nagsworth]

You could fill this thread with all the fucking stupid shite Paul Banks has written for Interpol over the years.

"I'm timeless like a broken watch
I make money like Fred Astaire
I see that you've come to resist me
I'm a pitbull in time
The pretense is not what restricts me
It's the circles inside"

Mate, shut up.

Also I hate to point out the obvious but

EVEN A BROKEN WATCH TELLS THE RIGHT TIME TWICE A DAY, PAUL

[phantom_power]

not if it digital

[alan nagsworth]

Banks is way too hip to reference a digital watch in his lyrics. You know I'm right.

[manticore]

In What's Up, by Four Non-blondes: "I'm feeling a little peculiar."

I am not understanding why that is stupid.

I'm still not understanding. I mean I wouldn't be at all surprised if I had spoken that exact phrase at some time. It's the sort of thing I would say.

Okay, in context:

And so I cry sometimes
When I'm lying in bed
Just to get it all out
What's in my head
And I am feeling a little peculiar
And so I wake in the morning
And I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream at the top of my lungs
What's going on?

I think that's perfectly acceptable wording for a poppyrocksong.

I'm not going to let this one go.

[PowerButchi]

What do you want for tea? I want crisps.

[timebug]

Mr Bland McCartney has an all time classic in his 'Live and Let Die' with the immortal 'In this ever changing world in which we live in'! Fer fexache!

[non capisco]

"Who needs the parliament, sitting making laws all day?" Incisive political commentary from Mick Jones of The Clash there. Bloody parliament, sitting making laws all day. I say, chaps, shall we make it illegal to be called Mick and look a bit like Humphrey Bogart? Top hole, old bean, write that one down!

[SteveDave]

What do you want for tea? I want crisps.

I love that line. It's fucking ridiculous.

[lebowskibukowski]

There was a little old lady who was walking down the road,
She was struggling with bags from Tesco,
There were people from the city having lunch in the park,
I believe that its called alfresco