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March 28, 2024, 11:31:48 PM

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Hi IT

Started by New Jack, July 17, 2018, 08:36:19 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

New Jack

Hi IT, the vending machine is out of salt and vinegar, pls sort ASAFP

Hi IT, please clean the knives and forks, cheers

Hi IT, my dog shit in the car park, bye

(some of these are based on real life but it's by no means a prerequisite)

Sebastian Cobb

Hi IT, the stapler next to the printer is out of staples and the hole punch is full.

Sebastian Cobb

Hi IT,

I can't seem to access any pornographic websites, is this a network issue?

Ta,
Wanky Jon

monolith

Hi IT,

The toilet is broken on our floor, please fix (genuine call).

seepage

Hi IT, why won't you come & fix my broken clunge laptop?

New Jack

Hi IT, it's your mum, can you come round and have a look?

Ominous Dave

Hi IT, the wotsit is broken and won't do the thingummy. No I can't be more specific.

pancreas

Hi IT, please can you come and do a gender reassignment operation for me.

New Jack

Hi IT, can you ask Ziggy what the hell I'm doing here dressed as a woman?

Sebastian Cobb

Hi IT,

We were having problems with the computer so I took it apart and can't seem to put it back together. Also is Frank with you?

Cheers,
Dave

doppelkorn

Hi IT, it's dad.

I created a playlist in Microsoft Works but the work CD player won't play it.

"Did you put it on a CD or a USB stick or..."

IT'S PLAYING THE MP3s BUT NOT IN THE RIGHT ORDER I USED ITUNES

New Jack

Hi IT, the chairman here - there's a staff night out tonight, four course meal, open bar.... so while we're gone could you stay late and install Office for me, byeeeeeeeeeee!

Ferris

Hi IT

It's my anus. Yes, I'll hold.

Goodbye.

Mr Ferris

Glebe

Hi IT, I tried turning it off and on again, didn't work, macaque!

New Jack

Hi IT.... doesn't work - useless - won't do what I want - just makes funny noises.... but enough about Sandra in HR, eh IT?

Hello ... IT? You there IT?

Sebastian Cobb

Hi IT,

Could you send someone down to reboot Alan?

Cheers,
Jeff

New Jack

Hi IT.
On my way to work this morning I went through a speed camera.
I'll leave it with you.
Much obliged.

New Jack

Hi IT. Something is wrong with my bloody computer.

What? No, you figure out what's wrong with it, you're the bleedin expert!

New Jack

Hi IT?

Just wondering if you can check if someone's been looking at porn. Oh no, just a general question mate, no need to log my name...

seepage

Hi IT
I had a tidy up and deleted all the files that didn't look like one of my documents, and now WordPerfect won't start - can you help?
thanks

madhair60

Hi IT I'm coming down the sewer to beef my childhood friend and then I'm gonna fuck your shit in.

seepage

Hi IT, can you sub my job again? No, I haven't made any changes but I'm sure it'll work this time. 

Bhazor

Hi IT, have you ever kissed a girl (snort)... oh... what was it like?

seepage

Hi IT, can you explain binary again, while tickling my tummy?

seepage

Hi IT, you told me it was big-endian, but I wasn't ready for that

chveik

Hi IT, I've got a Ctulhu monster on my desk, could you get rid of it? Cheers, mate!

New Jack

Hi IT,

The cash machine rejected my card so I'll swing by your desk for £30 at lunch

Nice one

Gregory Torso

Hello is that Ian Ternet,

The box that brings the pictures is doing that thing again, flashing the message. It says it owns me. I am belong to it now, and it will soon disconnect me, it needs to eat.
I tried feeding my sandwiches into its opening, but it still wants more. I can't do my work. I don't work, it won't let me.
Can you, please?

chveik

Quote from: Gregory Torso on July 18, 2018, 08:35:58 PM
Hello is that Ian Ternet,

The box that brings the pictures is doing that thing again, flashing the message. It says it owns me. I am belong to it now, and it will soon disconnect me, it needs to eat.
I tried feeding my sandwiches into its opening, but it still wants more. I can't do my work. I don't work, it won't let me.
Can you, please?


Clownbaby

Hi IT pleasedon'twalkoffyetyouhaven'tactuallyfixeditlookattheerrorstillpopping u-

oh

ok

twat