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Ball, Ball, Ball - Footy, Footy, Footy: 2018/2019

Started by gabrielconroy, July 22, 2018, 12:32:01 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

garnish

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVdfDa-PJSc

Link to Warnock doing a half-time team talk if that helps to bring the chapter alive.

finnquark

#1981
Hahaha Warnock on Brexit:

"Why did we have a referendum in the first bloody place? I can't wait to get out if I'm honest. I think we'll be far better out of the bloody thing. In every aspect. To hell with the rest of the world. Football-wise as well."

bgmnts

Hahaha.

God knows how Brexit will affect football.

DrGreggles

Quote from: bgmnts on January 12, 2019, 11:45:25 PM
Hahaha.

God knows how Brexit will affect football.

Colin probably thinks there'll be less foreigns innit.

bgmnts

Quote from: DrGreggles on January 12, 2019, 11:57:42 PM
Colin probably thinks there'll be less foreigns innit.

Bloody hell can you imagine a premier league with no forrins? I shudder to think.

Ferris

Quote from: kalowski on January 12, 2019, 09:28:15 PM
God, this is amazing. I love Warnock more than ever

Being reminded of old "One Size" Fitz Hall has made this worthwhile. The rest has just been an enjoyable bonus.

Squink

Quote"Funny, weren't it?" said Warnock. "I mean he says they do it all over the world. Listen, I hope they come and watch us, it will confuse them. They are quite welcome to come and watch us train."

Warnock on the whole Leeds spying thing.

Bronzy

Neil Warnock's message to Australia after their shock 1-0 loss to Jordan in the Asian Cup:

Quote"Serves you right for fookin' Muscat that"

Paddy Kenny unavailable for comment

Bronzy

Warnock on 9/11:

"That was a fookin' horrible business, all that. Can't get your bloody head around how many people died. Stopped me going on holiday during international break to Barbados with Sharon, so I knew it was bad. I phoned Paul [Peschisolido] to see if he had been caught up in it all, but thankfully him and his family are Italians. Still think about it when going on planes, not as much now though, thank god."

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: bgmnts on January 12, 2019, 02:21:55 PM
Just reading names like Jobi McAnuff and Akos Buszaky brings back memories.

Strange choice of foster parents in hindsight

monolith

For a while there, Forest were threatening to have a decent season.

BlodwynPig

Christ

North Korea 0 - 6 Qatar

Looks like all their dodgy investment has turned Qatar into a competitive outfit for the World Cup on home soil. Quarter Finals?

BlodwynPig

Quote from: monolith on January 13, 2019, 09:51:56 AM
For a while there, Forest were threatening to have a decent season.

Moment of the season as Bristol City overtook you lot :))) Don't think it will last. To be fair, Forest are the least obnoxious of a bad bunch in the top 6 there. Actually, I like Middlesbrough - the nice North East team.

Jockice

#1993
Quote from: finnquark on January 12, 2019, 09:58:53 PM
Hahaha Warnock on Brexit:

"Why did we have a referendum in the first bloody place? I can't wait to get out if I'm honest. I think we'll be far better out of the bloody thing. In every aspect. To hell with the rest of the world. Football-wise as well."

Absolute outrage at this among the FBPE lot on Twitter. Of which I'd hasten to say I'm not one, although there are a couple of them I follow. I rarely post anything anyway, just look at what others have posted.

Think I should tell them that Warnock is a well-known wind-up merchant? Or will that just spoil the fun?


Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: BlodwynPig on January 13, 2019, 03:05:23 PM
Christ

North Korea 0 - 6 Qatar

Looks like all their dodgy investment has turned Qatar into a competitive outfit for the World Cup on home soil. Quarter Finals?

Hopefully the North Koreans will simply have the star Qatar players gassed

Although that would still leave them with a full strength side

Ferris

Quote from: BlodwynPig on January 13, 2019, 03:07:50 PM
Moment of the season as Bristol City overtook you lot :))) Don't think it will last. To be fair, Forest are the least obnoxious of a bad bunch in the top 6 there. Actually, I like Middlesbrough - the nice North East team.

I like to see West brom and sheff united doing well.

I'd cheerfully see them relegated into oblivion if it meant Villa doing well though, obviously.

BlodwynPig

I like livescore's tracker feature



and 80's football manager style text

Quote
In London Manchester United's Marcus Rashford is caught offside.

Quote
Manchester United drive forward and Anthony Martial gets in a shot. Without netting, however.

bgmnts

Spurs just don't feel like winning this I supposs.

DrGreggles


bgmnts

Fucking hell that was mega cunty. Retro ban surely.

DrGreggles

Quote from: bgmnts on January 13, 2019, 06:05:53 PM
Fucking hell that was mega cunty. Retro ban surely.

What happened?
(I've turned over to the NFL)

bgmnts

Quote from: DrGreggles on January 13, 2019, 06:10:28 PM
What happened?
(I've turned over to the NFL)

Pogba went studs up into Debbie Alli's knee.

For some reason Neville and Redknapl are sucking off United big time though. I guess because an old Fergie player is at the helm everyone has to get back to utter deference towards them I don't know.


BlodwynPig

Quote from: bgmnts on January 13, 2019, 06:16:39 PM
Pogba went studs up into Debbie Alli's knee.

For some reason Neville and Redknapl are sucking off United big time though. I guess because an old Fergie player is at the helm everyone has to get back to utter deference towards them I don't know.


haaaaa haaaaa. Glorious sour grapes. We'll win the league after Liverpool and City capitulate.

finnquark

Chapter 6 - Lucky Shorts

- Neil slams international football as being 'so much sideways passing' and says the only thing he likes about it is the international breaks, which have seen him take his family as far afield as New York, Morocco and Cornwall.

- We hear that Rob Snodgrass flew to Slovenia to play half an hour in front of 4,000 people, and then had to drive from Glasgow to Leeds when he returned. 'Why can't Scotland stay overnight in Slovenia, to preserve sleep patterns - are they that hard up?'

- Neil snorts with derision about the time Kaspars Gorkšs went to play for Latvia against Bolivia in Turkey. It turns out the game was rigged, and worst of all Kaspars came back knackered for Forest away.

- Neil basically hates small countries ('Adel flew to Africa for an eagerly awaited clash with those superstars from Equitorial Guinea, and Heidar flew to Iceland for a clash of the giants with Liechtenstein'), mainly because it means that 'back in Blighty, I ended up fielding a weakened team in the Carling Cup against Port Vale, and we lost 3-1'.

- Neil pretends he didn't hate Kevin Blackwell, gloating over his sacking after QPR won 3-0 at Bramall Lane.

- Listen, Paddy Kenny was banned for taking over-the-counter medication for a cold, but Neil admits that the example of Lance Armstrong suggests that rules should be rules. Neil then says he doesn't know whether Lemsip is on the banned list, but he'll check in a bit.

- 'When the testers come, I sometimes point at a player who has performed poorly and say "Can you test them?" They never take any notice.'

- Neil says football has no problems with drugs, neither recreational or performance enhancing. However, Neil says he gave a hypochondriac an aspirin before a match, which he mutters 'is probably banned now'.

- We move onto the end of the transfer window, which saw Tommy Smith and Rob Hulse added to the squad. QPR followed this with four wins in a row, although at Ipswich 'the press made a fuss when Adel kicked a water bottle having been substituted'. The drama didn't end there, as the driver took a wrong turn at Waltham Abbey and the coach ended up going the long way round. 'Luckily for the driver, the lads were in a good mood after beating Ipswich, so the banter was light-hearted.'

- Flavio starts claiming Marcelo Lippi will be made manager if QPR go up, which Sharon says would be ideal because Neil could get paid off. Neil says that Flavio had been misquoted.

- 'The unbeaten run was good for the club, but it was not good for my legs, which were slowly turning blue. Let me explain.' Neil goes on to describe his superstitions (this covers some of the same ground as the previous chapter), including wearing the same jockstrap for 18 games at Rotherham ('I could have whistled it to me'). Going back to the blue legs, QPR went unbeaten until November and Neil was still wearing the same shorts he wore since the opening day. 'I considered wearing tights. Not Sharon's I'd like to stress, I'm not a crossdresser or anything.' Neil admits being pissed off when Tommy Smith scored a late equaliser at Pompey in mid-November. The run ended in December, fortunately for Neil's legs (they lost 3-1 at home to Watford, and were 'run ragged', although the ref missed a certain pen early doors.

Next chapter is about refs.

bgmnts

Quote from: BlodwynPig on January 13, 2019, 06:40:37 PM

haaaaa haaaaa. Glorious sour grapes. We'll win the league after Liverpool and City capitulate.

United?

imitationleather

Quote from: BlodwynPig on January 13, 2019, 03:05:23 PM
Christ

North Korea 0 - 6 Qatar

Looks like all their dodgy investment has turned Qatar into a competitive outfit for the World Cup on home soil. Quarter Finals?

Qatar beat Switzerland a couple of months ago (although given how quickly time seems to be passing these days it could easily have been in 1997). It's safe to say they're getting to the quarter-finals at least in 2022.

imitationleather

Quote from: bgmnts on January 13, 2019, 06:16:39 PM
Pogba went studs up into Debbie Alli's knee.

For some reason Neville and Redknapl are sucking off United big time though. I guess because an old Fergie player is at the helm everyone has to get back to utter deference towards them I don't know.

Unfortunately because the ref gave Pogba a yellow there can't be a retrospective punishment. I don't understand that rule at all because refs fuck up these decisions all the time.

Fortunately in a few months we'll have VAR and all these problems will be sorted forever. FOREVER.

An immensely frustrating game (for a Spurs fan, obvs). De Gea did very well. People are saying his saves were easy, but constantly being in exactly the right place is an incredible skill. We look a lot poorer without Sissoko, which isn't something I ever thought I'd be saying a couple of years ago. Lamela seemed a weird choice to bring on to replace him.

Can people stop pretending we're in the title race now? TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR! CARABAO CUP! TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR! CARABAO CUP!

(I do hope I am spelling Carabao correctly. I'm booked in to get it tattooed on my back on Monday.)

The Culture Bunker

Quote from: imitationleather on January 13, 2019, 08:13:59 PM
Unfortunately because the ref gave Pogba a yellow there can't be a retrospective punishment. I don't understand that rule at all because refs fuck up these decisions all the time.

Fortunately in a few months we'll have VAR and all these problems will be sorted forever. FOREVER.

An immensely frustrating game (for a Spurs fan, obvs). De Gea did very well. People are saying his saves were easy, but constantly being in exactly the right place is an incredible skill. We look a lot poorer without Sissoko, which isn't something I ever thought I'd be saying a couple of years ago. Lamela seemed a weird choice to bring on to replace him.

Can people stop pretending we're in the title race now? TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR! CARABAO CUP! TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR! CARABAO CUP!

(I do hope I am spelling Carabao correctly. I'm booked in to get it tattooed on my back on Monday.)
It's not a great system - and it worked against United the other week when Shelvey did Pogba from behind and got away with it because the ref blew for a foul.

Spurs seemed a little out-of-sorts, and I thought perhaps the best chances in the second half actually fell to Pogba.