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Most hated human behaviours.

Started by bgmnts, July 23, 2018, 07:24:43 AM

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bgmnts

I am sure this has been done to death but some ABSOLUTE CUNT in the office is slurping his coffee as if he is some coked up pornstar slobbering all over a ludicrously sized member.

So I am putting that near the top of my list of most hated human behaviours.

It joins the following:

- Walking at a speed too fast to overtake but too slow to get anywhere.
- Jumping in the queue
- Putting your bag next to your seat on a busy bus/train.


I fucking hate them all.

biggytitbo

Yes slow walkers blocking public paths and stairways is a major gripe, as are people who sit on the outside seat to you on a train then fall asleep. But nothing will ever top CUNTS who wield massive oversized golfing umbrellas on busy public thoroughfares when its raining without any consideration at all for any other human being in existence.

Shoulders?-Stomach!


doppelkorn

Honking your horn as if that will magically dissolve a complex traffic jam.

"Oop, best drive on lads, this bloke twelve cars back is in a bit of a hurry."

paruses

#4
Lack of consideration - in particular I am going to reference the use of wheeled suitcases. Mondays and Fridays working in London is a nightmare on these days with articulated gits eager to get to their super-important jobs and acting as moving trip hazards. Special circumstances exist for those (which is all of them) stopping dead at the top or bottom of escalators to carefully lower the handle and carefully step onto the stairs then repeating the opposite at the top lest they should have to carry the thing for more than two feet.

"Don't let the earth carry your luggage, man" - Super Hans


EOLAN

Quote from: bgmnts on July 23, 2018, 07:24:43 AM

- Jumping in the queue


I trust this behaviour is different to skipping/jumping the queue and involves people in their rightful position just leaping up and down, perhaps to get a better view of what's happening up ahead or just to keep themselves limber.


popcorn

The tendency to believe things on absolutely no evidence.

Everyone is guilty of this; it's more forgivable on complex issues, and understanding reality is difficult (so far I don't think anyone's completely cracked it). But when it's on completely trivial, easily debunked shite, it makes me strangulous.

In Japan, there's a widely held belief that bottles of water deter animals from pissing on your petunias. There is absolutely no fucking evidence whatsoever for this. Of course there isn't. It's an obviously moronic notion. They even busted the myth on Japanese TV.

But it persists, at least in Tokyo. Here are photos I took in my neighbourhood:





Check out this impenetrable fortress:





I suggested to a neighbour that she didn't need the bottles as they didn't work. She said "oh, thank you, but it definitely works for me".

Japan is hot on being community-minded and not bothering others, and there are passive-aggressive signs everywhere reminding you of this. There should be some sort of awareness campaign. Leaflets stuffed through doors. Stop littering the fucking neighbourhood with your dark-ages psuedoscience, for the love of God, it makes the place look like shit.

It should be good news, shouldn't it? "Guess what - you don't have to litter your beautifully manicured flowerpatches with yellowing plastic bottles any more!" But the response is inevitably either "it definitely works" or "it doesn't hurt, just in case". The same goes for people who tap cans before opening them.

This is my most hated human behaviour. It is worse than racism or murder or anything. It is thick.

I was inclined to start a new thread about a new housemate who exhibits one of mine. And that is that he both bullshits and seems to think everyone else is in competition with him. What's worse is that it is all quite easily disproven.

So far we have had:
- That he won gold in the commonwealth games (not true)
- That he is training to be a doctor (not true)
- That he is having a photo shoot to showcase his bodybuilding (not quite true. It's actually because he's lost a lot of weight)

He's also managed to set the fire alarm off by leaving pans unattended, and has destroyed the ironing board cover by putting a red hot saucepan on it. There's a fuckload of washing up that he's left since Wednesday or Thursday last week, and he asked to borrow some bedding for a night when he moved in (shops closed and he'd traveled a long way), and it's now been two weeks with no sign of him bothering to buy any.

Funnily, the landlord let himself into his room by mistake last week rather than the empty one he was looking for, and rather than kicking off at him, he found quietest lad in the house and aggressively asked him if he thought he was funny letting himself into his room. From some low level cyber stalking we think we've clocked that he's had a hair transplant too.

I'm trying as hard as I can to avoid any contact with the guy, but it looks like I might be stuck with him for six months. One part dreadfully insecure bullshitter, one part Legend Gary.

Avril Lavigne

Quote from: popcorn on July 23, 2018, 09:42:56 AM
The tendency to believe things on absolutely no evidence.

Along similar lines, my mother is extremely superstitious and so she complicates her day to day life with completely pointless & unnecessary rules like having to salute a Magpie and ask him how his wife is even while driving, or not being allowed to put shopping bags on a table.  60 years old and she won't save herself the back ache of unpacking the shopping from on the floor because it's bad luck to put bags on a table.  Can't put shoes on a bed either, even if they're freshly purchased & still in the box.

Jumblegraws

#11
Quote from: bgmnts on July 23, 2018, 07:24:43 AM
I am sure this has been done to death but some ABSOLUTE CUNT in the office is slurping his coffee as if he is some coked up pornstar slobbering all over a ludicrously sized member.

So I am putting that near the top of my list of most hated human behaviours.

It joins the following:

- Walking at a speed too fast to overtake but too slow to get anywhere.
- Jumping in the queue
- Putting your bag next to your seat on a busy bus/train.


I fucking hate them all.
Noisy eaters/drinkers should be put to death. I caused screaming and shouting to erupt during my childhood on more than one occasion by wordlessly getting up from the table and leaving a family dinner because I couldn't stand the sound of my father eating. Maybe a neutral observer would call me the prick in those situations but I swear to God that it's easier for someone to just chew with their fucking mouth closed than it is for me to rewire my brain and not be repelled by the grunting mastication  of these animals.

People who walk in groups and take up the whole pavement whilst proceeding at a glacial pace. Is it deliberate? Walk smartly or walk in single file, you inconsiderate buffalos.

popcorn

Quote from: Avril Lavigne on July 23, 2018, 10:06:04 AM
Can't put shoes on a bed either, even if they're freshly purchased & still in the box.

My mum told me and my sister when we were little that putting shoes on tables was bad luck. I asked her recently if she really believed this as I'd never heard it anywhere since. She confessed she had made it up as a way to keep the tables clean.

Utter Shit

It's got to be attention seeking for me, Clive.

Quote from: drummersaredeaf on July 23, 2018, 09:59:40 AM
I was inclined to start a new thread about a new housemate who exhibits one of mine. And that is that he both bullshits and seems to think everyone else is in competition with him. What's worse is that it is all quite easily disproven.

So far we have had:
- That he won gold in the commonwealth games (not true)
- That he is training to be a doctor (not true)
- That he is having a photo shoot to showcase his bodybuilding (not quite true. It's actually because he's lost a lot of weight)


Someone I was at university with told me, and quite a few other people, that he was actually an undercover agent for Mossad.  (And added that he would be grateful if we could keep that information to ourselves, as it could be quite dangerous if people knew).

Jumblegraws

Quote from: popcorn on July 23, 2018, 09:42:56 AM
The tendency to believe things on absolutely no evidence.

Everyone is guilty of this; it's more forgivable on complex issues, and understanding reality is difficult (so far I don't think anyone's completely cracked it). But when it's on completely trivial, easily debunked shite, it makes me strangulous.

In Japan, there's a widely held belief that bottles of water deter animals from pissing on your petunias. There is absolutely no fucking evidence whatsoever for this. Of course there isn't. It's an obviously moronic notion. They even busted the myth on Japanese TV.

But it persists, at least in Tokyo. Here are photos I took in my neighbourhood:





Check out this impenetrable fortress:





I suggested to a neighbour that she didn't need the bottles as they didn't work. She said "oh, thank you, but it definitely works for me".

Japan is hot on being community-minded and not bothering others, and there are passive-aggressive signs everywhere reminding you of this. There should be some sort of awareness campaign. Leaflets stuffed through doors. Stop littering the fucking neighbourhood with your dark-ages psuedoscience, for the love of God, it makes the place look like shit.

It should be good news, shouldn't it? "Guess what - you don't have to litter your beautifully manicured flowerpatches with yellowing plastic bottles any more!" But the response is inevitably either "it definitely works" or "it doesn't hurt, just in case". The same goes for people who tap cans before opening them.

This is my most hated human behaviour. It is worse than racism or murder or anything. It is thick.
Yeah, this one annoys me. I'd say tapping on cans to stop them fizzing over would roughly be the British equivalent of Japanese people with their garden bottles.

More generally people clinging to urban myths in the face of counter-evidence kind of annoys me. Special mention goes to the claim that Santa Claus wasn't depicted wearing red until Coca-Cola practically made him a company mascot. This is easily disproven but is repeated endlessly anyway. I dunno, maybe I'm the one being a killjoy arsehole here.

paruses

Quote from: Jumblegraws on July 23, 2018, 10:11:52 AM
People who walk in groups and take up the whole pavement whilst oroceeding at a glacial pace. Is it deliberate? Walk smartly or walk in single file, you inconsiderate buffalos.

Yes - another one for my nomination of Lack of Consideration. It's also Lack of Awareness.

Maybe it's more Lack of Awareness and it seems to be getting worse. Maybe it's always been the same or maybe social and economic practices have changed in the last thirty years such that people are now forced into the same small areas on the one hand and on the other have become conditioned to only concentrating on one thing at a time - standing to talk in entrances or creating a road block in a supermarket aisle while you chat should carry with it a lifetime ban from that establishment.

Sebastian Cobb

If you overtake me when I'm on my bike and then I have to brake because you've jammed the anchors on to make your turning then you probably didn't need to overtake me.

bgmnts

Spwaking of thick, if I hear another "there are more Muslims here than...." I am going to convert to fucking Islam.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: drummersaredeaf on July 23, 2018, 09:59:40 AM
I was inclined to start a new thread about a new housemate who exhibits one of mine. And that is that he both bullshits and seems to think everyone else is in competition with him. What's worse is that it is all quite easily disproven.

So far we have had:
- That he won gold in the commonwealth games (not true)
- That he is training to be a doctor (not true)
- That he is having a photo shoot to showcase his bodybuilding (not quite true. It's actually because he's lost a lot of weight)

He's also managed to set the fire alarm off by leaving pans unattended, and has destroyed the ironing board cover by putting a red hot saucepan on it. There's a fuckload of washing up that he's left since Wednesday or Thursday last week, and he asked to borrow some bedding for a night when he moved in (shops closed and he'd traveled a long way), and it's now been two weeks with no sign of him bothering to buy any.

Funnily, the landlord let himself into his room by mistake last week rather than the empty one he was looking for, and rather than kicking off at him, he found quietest lad in the house and aggressively asked him if he thought he was funny letting himself into his room. From some low level cyber stalking we think we've clocked that he's had a hair transplant too.

I'm trying as hard as I can to avoid any contact with the guy, but it looks like I might be stuck with him for six months. One part dreadfully insecure bullshitter, one part Legend Gary.

That crazy Dave prick I mentioned never used bed sheets despite me lending him them. He just slept on an exposed mattress and quilt.

When he lived with another friend he shat the bed. Apparently it even had the comedy pooey finger wipe on the sheet after he put his hand in it and wiped it off.

He also did the washing once and just dumped his wet clothes on the bedroom floor. It was a fetid damp mess when we chucked his shit out months later.

Butter wouldn't melt bullshit.

Disingenuousness.

Shooting fish in a barrel.

Inability to admit error or fault.

Coyness.

Hippy bullshit.

People trying to convince you of transparent bullshit by pure repetition.

Tweeness.

All advertising.

Mealy mouthed bullshit.

Black and white puritanical bullshit.

Spinelessness.

Self-pity.

Quote from: rectorofstiffkey on July 23, 2018, 10:18:45 AM
Someone I was at university with told me, and quite a few other people, that he was actually an undercover agent for Mossad.  (And added that he would be grateful if we could keep that information to ourselves, as it could be quite dangerous if people knew).

That's quite a good one in fairness. With this guy they are minor but persistent exaggerations. I believe he did compete for England at commonwealth level (as there is proof of that), but why claim gold in the commonwealth games?

When I mentioned I was also using myfitnesspal to try and count calories to shift a stone he made some comment about how I should be measuring everything I eat, but that depends if I'm bothered about a six pack. It was then I realised everything anyone says to him he'll see as a challenge and want to one up them and I decided I couldn't be arsed with the bloke.

I also had a guy at university who this guy reminds me of. He claimed he had played on the Corrs Unplugged album, played rugby for England juniors, and his uncle owned Morrisons. It turned out to be a butchers called Moore & Sons. The others were also debunked quickly and easily.

Emma Raducanu

Lack of humility. Where I work, everyone is the absolute best. It generates a lot of bitching. There's nothing more ugly than someone displaying too much confidence in themselves. I hate it.

People using mobile phones when driving
. Dunno why it gets so under my skin. I wanna jump on their car bonnet and crowbar the windscreen like I'm Terminator or something.

People who swear in front of children I was in Morecambe bay when I overheard a couple of Daaads swearing like the sergeant from Full Metal Jacket, while their children stood by. It's not that I'm against swearing per se, just I strongly believe in the beautiful innocence of childhood.

Neville Chamberlain

Irresponsibility / inability to face the consequences of your actions / spinelessness

People who lack conviction / aren't prepared to stand up for their convictions out of a fear of "upsetting" people

People who live in their fucking "happy bubble" all the time but are actually just spineless twats

People who make excuses for their stupid, selfish and irresponsible behaviours

People who don't change their ways in light of new evidence etc.

Lying and hypocrisy

Woo-woo merchants / anti-vaxxers etc.

Religion

People who clatter forks and spoons against their teeth

Buelligan

Breathing is irritating in most of 'em.  Just saying what everyone's thinking.  :)

Quote from: drummersaredeaf on July 23, 2018, 10:56:46 AM
That's quite a good one in fairness. With this guy they are minor but persistent exaggerations. I believe he did compete for England at commonwealth level (as there is proof of that), but why claim gold in the commonwealth games?

When I mentioned I was also using myfitnesspal to try and count calories to shift a stone he made some comment about how I should be measuring everything I eat, but that depends if I'm bothered about a six pack. It was then I realised everything anyone says to him he'll see as a challenge and want to one up them and I decided I couldn't be arsed with the bloke.

I also had a guy at university who this guy reminds me of. He claimed he had played on the Corrs Unplugged album, played rugby for England juniors, and his uncle owned Morrisons. It turned out to be a butchers called Moore & Sons. The others were also debunked quickly and easily.

I've always put it down to insecurity; they feel that their real selves aren't interesting enough, so add something.  To some people, attention seems to be like a drug; they just have to keep getting the high, and if they're not getting enough then they up the ante.

Or perhaps I'm talking psycho-bullshit and they're just lying tossers.

Buelligan

There is another side of this though, I've had a lot of genuinely bizarre and extraordinary things happen in my little life.  Right from the start, it's all been a bit abnormal.  I don't tell people much about it because, as well as being rather private as an individual, I realised that quite a few people lucky enough to have lived rather more trouble-free existences tend to imagine what you're telling them is bullshit (which is quite offensive and to me, a bit egotistical.  As if they imagine you'd sell your own honesty for their applause.  Jesus christ.).

The other day a close friend asked me to repeat something which I had told her years before (a funny thing that had happened to me years ago at work) to another friend.  I did.  The other friend said, yep, saw that in Working Girl (film - which I have never watched so don't know if it's true or not).  It irritated/hurt me but I couldn't be arsed to say anything.

phes

Quote from: biggytitbo on July 23, 2018, 08:40:50 AM
massive oversized golfing umbrellas on busy public thoroughfares when its raining without any consideration at all for any other human being in existence.

Witness the sight of a busy New York subway entrance, in rush hour, when it's raining: Dozens of humans simultaneously rushing a narrow entrance, all of whom refuse to close their umbrellas until they're inside.

... like tears of laughter, in the rain.

Hate is a strong word, especially in our relatively mundane, peaceful society. I agree with the previous caller Shoulders' choice of violence and bullying. That and drivers who impatiently pull their cars onto crossings in heavy traffic, blocking the path and endangering pedestrians when the lights change and they are free to cross. That makes me mad

Kelvin

People who say "fans only move the hot air around".

We know.  Moving hot air around quickly makes you feel cooler, cunt.

It's funny that you say that, Buelligan. My stance when I meet people is always to assume they can be taken on face value until they reveal otherwise. Generally I think it's best to assume good intentions from people, even though it has meant I'm now short of £15 of Asda's finest linen.