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The Birdie Song: An Act Of Audioterrorism Visited Upon The Self

Started by Gregory Torso, August 01, 2018, 12:38:34 PM

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Quote from: the on August 01, 2018, 03:04:02 PM
Competition idea: remix/cover The Birdie Song and make it good.

Someone chuck it through this at 800x and it will sound like Brian Eno

http://hypermammut.sourceforge.net/paulstretch/

Gregory Torso

17

In 1989 I was at a school disco and I was wearing a huge Hawaiian shirt, billowing in the cool stream, a flag, flapping banner of depserate cusp-children wanting to be seen as grown ass men by the girls in their school year and their kneesocks and haircuts. I was pretend drunk on cherry coke and asked a girl I had loved for years, asked her out, she said "what?" i said "nothing. sorry". Later being sick into a drain, cherries coming out of me into a drain, I heard her laughing withher friends "og god greg just asked me out!" jokes on her i am now an alcoholic zookeeper with a menagerie of problems imaginary and real time and i bet she never has sex with her phet licking wilted junkshop dick husband so we both win and after death you will be fed into a tube to go back to that moment and do it right.

Gregory Torso

18

Ego death. Exhaustion. Losing basic functions. Can't make a sandwich. Just a little bit of this and a little bit of that and saw of your hands with a nail file. The song is feeding on me. It grows tall on my blood.

Gregory Torso

Nineteen

Starting to tolerate it now. Know the arrangement of performers in their place. It's just fun. Enjoyment. Who would sneer at this? It makes no pretence at being a serious piece of art.
I want that drummer ARRESTED and DEAD IN THE HAGUE


Gregory Torso

Twenty one

round we go again. but i am strong now. i devour the poison of this song and purify it, exhaling pink crumbs of fresh air. Birdie Song you tried to break me but I am so strong. I am so glad my wife has slept through all of this.

Gregory Torso

Listen 22

or is it still 21?

Birdie Song is my grim ferryman stretching out the last exruciating moment of life before brain death.



gilbertharding

No-one's mentioned the words. The words, which were sung by the crowd while dancing:

"With a little bit of this" (mime 'operating imaginary Emu glove puppet' with both hands)
"And a little bit of that"  (mime 'operating imaginary Emu glove puppet' with both hands)
"And shake your bum" (wiggle hips three times in time with music)
"And shake your bum" (wiggle hips three times in time with music)
"With a little bit of this" (mime 'operating imaginary Emu glove puppet' with both hands)
"And a little bit of that"  (mime 'operating imaginary Emu glove puppet' with both hands)
"And shake your bum" (wiggle hips three times in time with music)
"And shake your bum" (clap three times in time with music)
"Ah na-nah naaaah, na naaaa na naa naaa...." (form a wheel with three others and circle round...)

Gregory Torso

23rd
I am a husk, a bee drained of honey in a spiderweb. A broken egg flowing rancid mayonnaise from its fissures. An abandoned horse purging rotten fruit in an orchard of beer death. I am a scrapped person. I will never hear birds singing again

Gregory Torso

Twenty fourth listen of the BIRDIE SONG

This final push, this volley, this last punch in the throat, fist down the gullet, nearly over. I can see the ships come back to save me. The Duck Bus lies in a wreck, rust mites grazing on its hull, thick green fluid oozing from machete gashes on it s flank. music dissolves, velvet waterfall of soft disappearing sound. i have made fear into nothing. i have made god small and put him in my wallet. I wil never hear this song again, even if I hear it, i will not HEAR it. in my soddy wet blankets weeping into the pillow i feel its illness running from me, into the bed, through the floorboards, down into the roots of the house. we will drink its nonsense for weeks. it is a cursed pie i will feed to my wife and child filled with cracked birdsong and bus fumes and they will taste only ginsters goodness.

therre is NO MERIT in the Birdie Song, NOTHING, it is SHIT, qnd people have always been like this.

I am spent. Absoluetly exhaisted. I can;t e anymore.  Sleep.



Gregory Torso

OH WHAT THE FUCK ONE MORE TIME YEAH JUST A LITTLE BIT OF THIS AND A LITTLE BIT OF THAT AND DESTROY YOUR FAMILY LA LA LA

the

I have to take issue with Youtube over the veracity of this title:


     





the

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't slightly concerned for the welfare of Gregory Torso off the back of this thread.

Gregory Torso

Thanks for the concern, the, but apart from an absoute ASBO of a hangover and the residual cheeps still ringing painfully through my inner ear canals, ah'm fine.

I do think I should stop drinking, though.

daf

Do Superman!





btw I think this is a great record - and the live Top of the Pops version is even better (ding dong!)


the

Quote from: the on August 01, 2018, 03:17:04 PM

     


There is definitely something about dance craze instructions that screams 'death cult'

BlodwynPig


daf

Quote from: daf on August 02, 2018, 03:46:32 PM


Desolation as they realise their 'We're havin' a Gang-Bang' live sex-cam tip counter has been stuck on '0' for the last 2 hours.

Chriddof

Can't help but notice they're using Captain Marvel (or Shazam, as he's now known) as an illustration in place of The Man Of Steel.

Small Man Big Horse

To be honest I don't think you did this properly. Having CaB here to vomit your thoughts in to the world changes everything, the woman on the Duck Bus had nothing to do other than listen to the pure horror of the song over and over again without distraction. So I'm afraid you'll have to start again.

Captain Z

This always reminds me of the song from Everfrost Peak in Diddy Kong Racing.

Bhazor

This thread made my day. The fact this thread is the best thing to happen to me today should probably be of concern.

Goldentony

Imagine my shock upon reading that Goblin's Claudio Simonetti had a hand in writing Black Lace's Superman

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: Bhazor on August 04, 2018, 08:38:01 PM
This thread made my day. The fact this thread is the best thing to happen to me today should probably be of concern.

No, it's genuinely one of the best pieces of writing on CaB of the last 2-3 years.