The Onion Film Reviews

[Small Man Big Horse]

I only just discovered these thanks to this post:

hey look he's talking about you!

https://entertainment.theonion.com/the-onion-reviews-mamma-mia-here-we-go-again-1827749066

I know they've been mentioned elsewhere recently of late too, but I thought they deserve their own thread as they're quite simply really fucking funny. I've had mixed feelings about The Onion over the years but this is easily one of the best things they've done, and I found myself laughing out loud a great deal.

The Jaws one, which explores Brody's latent homosexuality, is especially good - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPOX2kNAZ6I and I'm also a fan of It's A Wonderful Life, where the critic becomes obsessed with Uncle Billy's stupidity - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGko87FAMPg

I've only just started watching them but am pretty sure I'm going to lose a good few hours to them now as they're so good.

Edit: I also really like the unexpected direction the Citizen Kane one takes - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLPB3SP57ok

[up_the_hampipe]

Haha, that Mamma Mia one is excellent, even if it stings.

[Sin Agog]

I might be missing a layer of the onion here.  Is that Mamma Mia review parodying the type of critics who say pat shit like, 'If you don't like this movie, you are unable to experience joy,' or is it serious about that line of thinking?  'If you are not me, and don't eat sugared cannoli for breakfast, lunch and dinner, you live in an endless cycle of drudgery and pain.' (To be fair this is CAB, but you get my point).

[bgmnts]

I genuinely didn't find that funny at all. Maybe I didn't get it.

[Small Man Big Horse]

I genuinely didn't find that funny at all. Maybe I didn't get it.

Have you watched the Jaws one? I think that's a huge amount of fun, and easily better than the Mamma Mia one.

[Jumblegraws]

I might be missing a layer of the onion here.  Is that Mamma Mia review parodying the type of critics who say pat shit like, 'If you don't like this movie, you are unable to experience joy,' or is it serious about that line of thinking?  'If you are not me, and don't eat sugared cannoli for breakfast, lunch and dinner, you live in an endless cycle of drudgery and pain.' (To be fair this is CAB, but you get my point).

Definitely the former.

[up_the_hampipe]

I might be missing a layer of the onion here.  Is that Mamma Mia review parodying the type of critics who say pat shit like, 'If you don't like this movie, you are unable to experience joy,' or is it serious about that line of thinking?  'If you are not me, and don't eat sugared cannoli for breakfast, lunch and dinner, you live in an endless cycle of drudgery and pain.' (To be fair this is CAB, but you get my point).

I think it's doing both. Obviously people are free to hate things and have opinions, Mamma Mia is a reasonable thing to dislike to a certain degree, but there are people who make it their mission to express their disdain for things in the face of those who enjoy them.

[Sin Agog]

I didn't mind Mamma Mia 1, but there are a thousand reasons why someone might not get on with it.  Reminds me too much of other critic-proof lines, like when Kevin Smith challenged any reviewer who didn't like his movie to 'make a film of their own.'  Or this old chestnut: 'It was never meant to be Citizen Kane!'  They're all sort of threatening you to love their wares, or be branded a persnickety, friendless nerd.  (To be fair this is CAB, but you get my point).

[ASFTSN]

Please watch the Robocop one and the Lord of the Rings one immediately.  I fucking love these.

[chveik]

I like the La La Land one.

[Small Man Big Horse]

Please watch the Robocop one and the Lord of the Rings one immediately.  I fucking love these.

Thanks for the suggestions, I loved the Robocop one, but couldn't find the Lord of the Rings one, did you mean The Hobbit review?

[ASFTSN]

Thanks for the suggestions, I loved the Robocop one, but couldn't find the Lord of the Rings one, did you mean The Hobbit review?

Hmmm I'm not sure which one it is now, I sort of forgot there were 18 Lord of the Rings films and that PJ also divided The Hobbit into 27 parts. The vid I'm thinking of is an extended riff on nerds/fantasy authors that 'respect' Tolkien while at the same time consider their own worldbuilding to be superior and highly original.

[Enrico Palazzo]

I liked the Hunger Games one - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyx1U9QjWVQ

[Small Man Big Horse]

Hmmm I'm not sure which one it is now, I sort of forgot there were 18 Lord of the Rings films and that PJ also divided The Hobbit into 27 parts. The vid I'm thinking of is an extended riff on nerds/fantasy authors that 'respect' Tolkien while at the same time consider their own worldbuilding to be superior and highly original.

Ah, yeah, that's one of the Hobbit ones and I did find it really funny as well, especially when it cut to him being made up as one of his characters.

I liked the Hunger Games one - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyx1U9QjWVQ

Ha, that's a great one, thought it was going to be a bit mean at first but then it became very silly / erotic!

[Shaky]

I didn't mind Mamma Mia 1, but there are a thousand reasons why someone might not get on with it.  Reminds me too much of other critic-proof lines, like when Kevin Smith challenged any reviewer who didn't like his movie to 'make a film of their own.'  Or this old chestnut: 'It was never meant to be Citizen Kane!'  They're all sort of threatening you to love their wares, or be branded a persnickety, friendless nerd.  (To be fair this is CAB, but you get my point).

That's another layer of the joke, surely? Taking the piss out of a) people who really, really hate the film b) people who say. "Lighten up, it's just a bit of fun!" and c) people who overthink and get a bit touchy about what others think of their opinions.

I think it's very well done.

[Shaky]

Jesus, if I'd known the Onion was pumping these out over the last few years I might have paid more attention. This Lynch-esque nightmare is amazing:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8OMMMsONf4

[Small Man Big Horse]

Jesus, if I'd known the Onion was pumping these out over the last few years I might have paid more attention. This Lynch-esque nightmare is amazing:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8OMMMsONf4

Oh wow, that's fantastic, I think it might be my favourite one yet. Though I'm glad I watched a fair few of them first as out of context it wouldn't make much sense.

[Shaky]

The guy playing "Peter K. Rosenthal" is amazing. The little bit at 0:42 in that last one where he snaps back to properly reviewing the film is brilliantly timed.

[popcorn]

I might be missing a layer of the onion here.  Is that Mamma Mia review parodying the type of critics who say pat shit like, 'If you don't like this movie, you are unable to experience joy,' or is it serious about that line of thinking?  'If you are not me, and don't eat sugared cannoli for breakfast, lunch and dinner, you live in an endless cycle of drudgery and pain.' (To be fair this is CAB, but you get my point).

I asked exactly the same thing in the Mama Mia thread. I don't think it really works.

[petercussing]

Enjoyed this one

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8NFLBhIzZ0

[Chriddof]

I used to be all over this sort of thing, but now I would quite like to not see yet another fucking American comedy that goes all weird all of a sudden and the main character vomits and then some blood happens and then there's an industrial music drone and other stuff happens and maybe it's an allegory for Trump's etc etc etc etc etc load of absolute fucking horseshit ever again as long as I live. You can't have multiple people doing this sort of thing repeatedly to the extent it's been done, it's fucking annoying.

[idunnosomename]

"brilliantly portrayed by robert shaw and richard dreyfuss, as two men secure in their own homosexuality, evidenced by the fact that their minds never manifest killer great white sharks"

[Small Man Big Horse]

Just thought I'd bump this as a new episode has finally been posted - https://entertainment.theonion.com/the-onion-reviews-onward-1842150686 - It's of the Pixar film Onward, but other than a brief description of the film's central concept it doesn't contain any spoilers, and it's a bloody great one in general, I really hope they start producing these on a more regular basis again.

[idunnosomename]

yeah i posted that in the Onward thread, didnt realise it was their first in a while, i just love the dedication to one joke which evolves throughout via the totally into-it delivery of the performer

[Ignatius_S]

The It's A Wonderful Life one is spot on.