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March 28, 2024, 11:02:05 AM

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Absolutely pisspoor British films

Started by Mark Steels Stockbroker, August 06, 2018, 11:21:11 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Shit Good Nose

Just popping in to say I actually quite like Sex Lives of the Potato Men, and not in an ironic way - I genuinely quite enjoy it.

Don't worry, though, I'm not for one moment suggesting it's some maligned comedy masterpiece.  I totally get why most people think it's bilge.

lebowskibukowski

Quote from: BlodwynPig on August 07, 2018, 12:25:31 PM
why?

Amongst Hitler's top henchmen was Kathy Burke, so he gets a pass from me.

Searching desperately for a Nazi/Kathy Burke crossover gag but my SS knowledge is poor. Anybody up on their Waffen?

neveragain

"I am gassing a fag!"

I'm terribly sorry.

mothman

Lady Godiva is a real film?! Fuck me. I thought that was made up.

Others to consider:

Fanny & Elvis
This Year's Love
Imagine Me And You
I Give It A Year

And all the Nativity films.

St_Eddie

Fat Slags - The appalling adaptation of the Viz strip.

magval

Watched My Name Is Lenny the other night. Some lad spends the entire 90 minutes gurning like he's in a reasonably well-observed impression sketch, only it's a deadly serious film instead. Strangely compelling. Came out of it feeling quite like Alan Partridge, not being able to understand the face-value celebration of these types of people. Lenny McClean commands interest, curiosity even, but reverence? Nah.

Contains every 'hard man' movie cliche going, and borrows liberally from Snatch, Bronson and a few others.

Brundle-Fly

Quote from: lebowskibukowski on August 07, 2018, 10:17:00 AM
Rancid Aluminium. First time I actually got angry watching a film.


For me, I had a cob on ( I said. 'cob on', grow up!) in the Camden Odeon watching A Life Less Ordinary (1997) Very noisy film blasting out nineties indie pop all the way through but I can't remember anything about it other than Deadweight by Beck and that Ewan McGregor was in it. Wasn't there some ghastly animated bit near the end?

Small Man Big Horse

Quote from: Chollis on August 07, 2018, 12:19:48 PM
Been meaning to watch this for some time

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Run_for_Your_Wife_(2012_film)

It's reasonably shocking stuff but I did partially enjoy it, if only for the ridiculous amount of faded celebrity cameos it fits in within the running time.

mothman

Quote from: Brundle-Fly on August 07, 2018, 06:00:30 PM
A Life Less Ordinary (1997)

Easily Boyle's worst film. Never gets mentioned when discussing his now established cimenatic genius. Oh, how silly we'll all feel if his Bond film is of similar quality. "But, Shallow Grave, Slumdog, the Olympics..?" we'll sob, "and The Beach, and Trainspotting, and Sunshine... OK, maybe not Sunshine, but... Trance... oh, fuck, we should have known..."

Bronzy

#39
Quote from: Gulftastic on August 07, 2018, 08:48:42 AM
I watched most of that. It seemed like the scriptwriter was having a bet based on how many 'cunts' he could get in the film. It's a lot, btw.

Shaun Ryder is actually pretty good in his small role.

I'm a bit obsessed with it, to be honest. Think I've seen it three or four times and I still find it side-splittingly awful.

The best part is that I haven't seen the previous two, and I have no plan on doing so. I like having barely any idea of what is going on or who the characters are, and I think watching the other two would take away that enjoyment.

Psmith

The Boys in Blue
C&B murdering a classic.

Ballad of Ballard Berkley

Quote from: Brundle-Fly on August 07, 2018, 01:13:58 PM
This even has a handprint plaque in Leicester Square ffs


The Anna Sher Theatre School mafia make their own movie playing themselves. One of the most nihilistic unpleasant films I've ever sat through. Even Perry Benson can't save it. Or the ever-reliable Ray W.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZ156N9nj_M&frags=pl%2Cwn

Jesus Christ, that looks unbearable.

famethrowa

I reckon Grimsby was piss-poor, but also enjoyable in a Naked Gun/Austin Powers/Little Britain kind of way.

Bogbrainedmurphy

Quote from: imitationleather on August 07, 2018, 10:24:14 AM
That new Festival one with the guy from The Inbetweeners who isn't Jay or Simon Bird. Looks utterly shocking and about a decade out of date. Clearly the producers wanted to do a third Inbetweener film set around a festival but the other two were like "We're pushing forty! We've got Friday Night Dinner and Ladbrokes ads to do!" Desolation in trailer form.

Saw the trailer for this before Mission Possible the other day, as soon as it went off my partner said it's clear which of the Inbetweeners cast is struggling most in the years after it finished.

Desolation, indeed. Deserves to absolutely bomb.

St_Eddie

Quote from: Brundle-Fly on August 07, 2018, 01:13:58 PM
This even has a handprint plaque in Leicester Square ffs


The Anna Sher Theatre School mafia make their own movie playing themselves. One of the most nihilistic unpleasant films I've ever sat through. Even Perry Benson can't save it. Or the ever-reliable Ray W.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZ156N9nj_M&frags=pl%2Cwn

Made by the Operation Goodguys team, no less.

Quote from: St_Eddie on August 07, 2018, 04:38:30 PM
Fat Slags - The appalling adaptation of the Viz strip.

Absolutely dreadful.  It's fair to say that Angus Deayton's most mortifying screen moments weren't anything to do with his HIGNFY sacking but his appearance as 'Maurice the receptionist' in this film.  They had some quite good people in the cast, I wonder what blackmail material they had to use to get them to appear? 

kidsick5000

Quote from: Brundle-Fly on August 07, 2018, 01:13:58 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZ156N9nj_M&frags=pl%2Cwn
Grim. It's part of that weird series of improvised films they did.
I wonder how many watched because they were fans of Operation Good Guys.

Brundle-Fly

Quote from: kidsick5000 on August 08, 2018, 12:52:47 PM
Grim. It's part of that weird series of improvised films they did.
I wonder how many watched because they were fans of Operation Good Guys.

I can just picture Sadie and Ray Burdess writing out the plot on the back of a beermat in some Primrose Hill gastropub as Danny Goffey gets the next round in.

Blue Jam

Quote from: Small Man Big Horse on August 06, 2018, 11:51:07 PM
Mad Cows - So horrendous that I can't even bring myself to talk about it in depth, it's the only film to give me PTSD.

I haven't seen it but I remember Meg Matthews had a cameo and Select magazine described it as "surreally awful". I am mildly intrigued, I must admit...

Sebastian Cobb

Wasn't the whole point of Final Cut that Jude had realised they were all scheming selfish cunts and decided to hold a mirror to them? I thought it was better than Love, Honour, Obey.

Blue Jam

Quote from: imitationleather on August 07, 2018, 10:24:14 AM
That new Festival one with the guy from The Inbetweeners who isn't Jay or Simon Bird. Looks utterly shocking and about a decade out of date. Clearly the producers wanted to do a third Inbetweener film set around a festival but the other two were like "We're pushing forty! We've got Friday Night Dinner and Ladbrokes ads to do!" Desolation in trailer form.

Just saw this advertised on the side of a bus (never a good sign). I was wondering "Hang on, is that CaB's favourite actor Joe Thomas?"

(read the Fresh Meat threads if you're not sure if I'm being sarcastic)

Brundle-Fly

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on August 08, 2018, 06:04:32 PM
Wasn't the whole point of Final Cut that Jude had realised they were all scheming selfish cunts and decided to hold a mirror to them? I thought it was better than Love, Honour, Obey.

That was the point but there was something really gauche and charmless about the whole thing.

Brundle-Fly

Quote from: Blue Jam on August 08, 2018, 05:55:05 PM
I haven't seen it but I remember Meg Matthews had a cameo and Select magazine described it as "surreally awful". I am mildly intrigued, I must admit...

To be filed next to Honest (2000) the same year, the delightful Dead Babies was released. That is an uncomfortable watch. Good cast though.


buzby

Quote from: Blue Jam on August 08, 2018, 06:11:17 PM
Just saw this advertised on the side of a bus (never a good sign). I was wondering "Hang on, is that CaB's favourite actor Joe Thomas?"

(read the Fresh Meat threads if you're not sure if I'm being sarcastic)
Series 2 of White Gold got put on hold after Ed Westwick got #metood (though it's recently been announced the investigation has been dropped due to lack of witness evidence) so I presume Thomas had a lot of time on his hands.

Shit Good Nose

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on August 08, 2018, 06:04:32 PM
Wasn't the whole point of Final Cut that Jude had realised they were all scheming selfish cunts and decided to hold a mirror to them? I thought it was better than Love, Honour, Obey.

I thought they were both dreadful.  Couldn't believe I was watching something created by the Operation Good Guys crew, but, after the shit third series and having seen some of Burdis' other work, I now realise OGG series 1 and 2 were bottled lightning.


Which one out of Final Cut and Love, Honour, Obey had a catering budget larger than was spent on the rest of the film?

BeardFaceMan

Quote from: Shit Good Nose on August 08, 2018, 09:58:52 PM
I thought they were both dreadful.  Couldn't believe I was watching something created by the Operation Good Guys crew, but, after the shit third series and having seen some of Burdis' other work, I now realise OGG series 1 and 2 were bottled lightning.


Which one out of Final Cut and Love, Honour, Obey had a catering budget larger than was spent on the rest of the film?

Was series 3 the one where they added a laughter track? To a fucking documentary?

St_Eddie

Quote from: BeardFaceMan on August 08, 2018, 11:21:44 PM
Was series 3 the one where they added a laughter track? To a fucking documentary?

It was series 2 which added the laughter track.  It was definitely a misstep because as you say, it jarred with the premise of it being a documentary.  The comedy in series 2 was also a lot broader than it was in series 1, which was equally incongruent with the documentary aspect.  However, it was series 3 which really went all out and turned the show into an incredibly broad sitcom.  Series 3 is not without it's moments, in my opinion but by that point, it had absolutely become a show which had forgotten the very core of its concept.

Brundle-Fly

S1 of Operation Good Guys was great. I had a proper run in with one of the Burdis brothers in Crouch End about thirty years ago. Scary bastard.

St_Eddie

Quote from: Brundle-Fly on August 09, 2018, 12:50:20 AM
S1 of Operation Good Guys was great. I had a proper run in with one of the Burdis brothers in Crouch End about thirty years ago. Scary bastard.

Ah, you can't leave it at that!  Pray, do tell.

PowerButchi

The Great Ecstasy of Robert Carmichael

Has precisely no redeeming features.