Radio-station cliches you want to fuck the fuck off

[Sebastian Cobb]

On the subject of laughter. When someone (usually the host) makes a standard joke and everyone else sees fit to laugh hysterically into the microphone.

Next up, factoids!

[Phil_A]

Eurgh, I wish they'd bin Lamacq and put R&M in that slot instead. Dunno if the weekend move was mutual decision or not, but it sounds like Radcliffe is just happy not to've got the boot.

I do think a shake up was needed at 6 as the line-up has been stagnating for far too long. Disappointing there's no-one new coming in though.

[Brundle-Fly]

This shake up is going to piss off a lot of listeners. People do like their daily routines. I guess that's the end of The Chain and Teatime Theme Time then? Can't just do it at the weekends. I wonder if they get a paydrop?

[doppelkorn]

I wish the R6 presenters would play less boring white man music on the whole.

[shiftwork2]

The comment about Keaveney was apparent to anyone who's listened in the last few weeks, he had a weird 'fuck this' tone that suggested he thought he was going to be shitcanned.  Literally nobody new in?  Massive refresh there.  Both breakfast shows should be good.  I wish I liked MAH more as the music's good, I just find her delivery exhausting - not everything is the best thing ever.

[Beagle 2]

This shake up all works good for me. I actually punched the air when I found out Keaves was gone.

Also really like Nemone though and would have preferred her in the morning slot.

[Phil_A]

Four months or so into the current 6music line-up and Keaveny is really starting to wear on me. His low effort, "This is all crap isn't it" shtick is just tiring to have to listen to every afternoon. Oh ho ho, he's reading another listener email saying "Keep up the mediocre work," nice one mate.

He's like some kind of energy vampire sucking the tiny amount joy out of my day, completely the wrong person for that kind-of slot.

I wonder what the ratings are like now, I haven't bothered to check to be honest.

It's so frustrating as I've been listening to old Adam & Joe shows when I want a break from live radio, and even when they were (sometimes literally) phoning it in, they still piss all over most of the 6 line-up now.

[JesusAndYourBush]

The commercials with the super-fast disclaimers at the end that go on for far too long.  It's too fast and my brain glazes over and I'm just thinking "fuckofffuckofffuckofffuckofffuckofffuckofffuckofffuckofffuckoff" until it's over.

[Morrison Lard]

Four months or so into the current 6music line-up

It's utter toss now, the only one I listen to is Marc Riley.

If you're after a good radio app/website, you can't go wrong with Radio Garden.
It's got thousands and thousands of radio stations from all around the world.

[Icehaven]

About 20 years ago I temped at an airport loading bay two or three nights a week for maybe 6 months or so, and I dunno which station it was (probably some crappy local one) but they played 'Millennium' by Jobbie Williams every night at near enough exactly the same time, about 22.30. And there were people who worked there every night. I'm sure if I walked in there tonight I'd hear 'We gat staaaaaaaars dah-rectin' ah fate...."

[a duncandisorderly]

telephone-voice effect on random sentences during 5-live promos.

danny #cancelled baker used to complain about this & other such stylistic offences, one of the few areas of his guff that I agreed with.

[Dr Sanchez]

Scripted "banter"  between male and female co presenters boils my balls.

I had to commute to work in my girlfriend's car for an hour a day for months and she would always tune into Magic's morning show with Ronan Keating and a generic mouthy female co host. They would have these little saccharine back and fourths that were devoid of humour but featured constant over the top laughter. The music was shit and they kept featuring a competition to guess the "mystery sound" which no one could guess so they just kept playing it over and over and over again every day for what seemed like forever.

The only solace I got was imagining the cold awkward silences between them during songs or ad breaks.

[a duncandisorderly]

Scripted "banter"  between male and female co presenters boils my balls.

I had to commute to work in my girlfriend's car for an hour a day for months and she would always tune into Magic's morning show with Ronan Keating and a generic mouthy female co host. They would have these little saccharine back and fourths that were devoid of humour but featured constant over the top laughter. The music was shit and they kept featuring a competition to guess the "mystery sound" which no one could guess so they just kept playing it over and over and over again every day for what seemed like forever.

The only solace I got was imagining the cold awkward silences between them during songs or ad breaks.

absolute fucking shit for cunts, isn't it? it's like ipods were never invented.

[mothman]

<Actual good song starts playing>

Us: Ooh, we haven't heard this in ages!

<Suddenly cuts out. Voiceover: WE PLAY THIS... then a brief snippet of another good song plays... AND THIS... and then another snippet... ON RADIO GET IN GRAVE FM>

Us: So why don't you then?! Instead of the seemingly-required daily spinning of Careless fucking Whisper?!

First encountered it on Greek radio stations. Now I've head Absolute doing it too.

[idunnosomename]

the only time I hear local radio is at the end of traffic announcements for up to around 10 seconds and that is more than enough of the insipid inane distilled small talk these cunts deal in day-in-out

OOOH IM FEELING ALL CHRISTMASSY
HOT ENOUGH FOR YOU ALL OUT THERE???
SOME GREAT TUNES COMING UP TO CHEER YOU UP IN THE RAIN

[Huxleys Babkins]

"Has anyone seen what Lewis Hamilton posted on Twitter last night? It's genuinely amazing. We'll tell you more about it after 9."

Yeah mate, can't fucking wait. Couldn't just look at his Twitter could I?

"Have you seen the trailer for the new Terminator film? It looks amazing. Don't worry if you haven't, we've posted it up on our website over at gravefm.com"

Quality radio.

[Camp Tramp]

Every Heart affiliated station seems to play the same jingle.
'Today's best music mix, today's best music variety.
This is so clearly wrong.

Also every Heart charity shop has the following notation on their closed sign.
'Gone Home To Listen To Heart FM'. I'm sure it doesn't happen?

[Raskolnikov]

The "Radio 4" laugh. A faint murmur of a giggle and then a big round of applause for the cleverness.

[Jockice]

This all reminds me of when I went to Miami and the Florida Keys in the late 90s. I hired a car but for some reason the only radio station I could get on it was Lite FM. which is exactly as bad as it sounds. At one point they played Lionel Ritchie's All Night Long and I was practically pogoing in the car and going: "Wahey, punk's not dead."

[gilbertharding]

"The mighty Maida Vale Studio..."

Oh...