Author Topic: Words Teenagers use these days when buying contraception.  (Read 976 times)

Words Teenagers use these days when buying contraception.
« on: August 10, 2018, 10:26:08 AM »
You are probably like me and like to eaves drop on the slang used by today's teenagers when buying condoms etc; the obvious ones:

"A box of shuttle cocks please barman"

"Half a pound of your best potato skins please shopkeeper"

" *Nervous voice* Hello bossman, got any of Colin's finest in the back there? I'll need the heavy duty sort please."

"11 Pythons revenge , cheers,  do you accept cheques?"

New Jack

  • Biggy laughed at my family deaths; won't say sorry
Re: Words Teenagers use these days when buying contraception.
« Reply #1 on: August 10, 2018, 10:56:38 AM »
A bung for my clunge so there's no gunge

Cuellar

  • Push off my wire
Re: Words Teenagers use these days when buying contraception.
« Reply #2 on: August 10, 2018, 12:24:09 PM »
"Alright sir, eight for the Gaffney? No? How about ten then hahaha only kidding"

Hobo With A Shit Pun

  • Fuck. You've confused the goat.
Re: Words Teenagers use these days when buying contraception.
« Reply #3 on: August 10, 2018, 01:17:37 PM »
"Doggybags".

New Jack

  • Biggy laughed at my family deaths; won't say sorry
Re: Words Teenagers use these days when buying contraception.
« Reply #4 on: August 10, 2018, 01:50:08 PM »
Packet of cockwallets plz mate

Extra super duper baggy

Re: Words Teenagers use these days when buying contraception.
« Reply #5 on: August 10, 2018, 05:30:08 PM »
Crenners

Rodleys

Tapas

Safety Rapers

AIDS Beanies

Pingers

  • With the ill behaviour
Re: Words Teenagers use these days when buying contraception.
« Reply #6 on: August 10, 2018, 05:31:48 PM »
Plum Thwarters

Bhazor

  • Are you rolling your own jelly babies in there?
Re: Words Teenagers use these days when buying contraception.
« Reply #7 on: August 10, 2018, 05:33:43 PM »
Playing their Switch on the bus.

Re: Words Teenagers use these days when buying contraception.
« Reply #8 on: August 10, 2018, 05:39:15 PM »
Sunburn peelings

New Jack

  • Biggy laughed at my family deaths; won't say sorry
Re: Words Teenagers use these days when buying contraception.
« Reply #9 on: August 10, 2018, 05:45:24 PM »
Cumcatchers
Sprogstoppers

Bhazor

  • Are you rolling your own jelly babies in there?
Re: Words Teenagers use these days when buying contraception.
« Reply #10 on: August 10, 2018, 06:38:56 PM »
"Pump hot cum into my minge.... NAWWWWWWT!!!!!!" sold in 6 packs with a pack of dib dabs on the side.
« Last Edit: August 10, 2018, 06:49:04 PM by Bhazor »

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Got to be getting his head on that for me Gary
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Words Teenagers use these days when buying contraception.
« Reply #11 on: August 10, 2018, 06:42:44 PM »
Shit-Ons, eight of them

We don't have them in packets of 8, sir

ERR EXCUSE ME WHO IS THE CUSTOMER

QDRPHNC

  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • "A soupçon of pizzazz."
Re: Words Teenagers use these days when buying contraception.
« Reply #12 on: August 10, 2018, 07:39:15 PM »
Ham-bags.

Gregory Torso

  • sun of the vermin wind
Re: Words Teenagers use these days when buying contraception.
« Reply #13 on: August 10, 2018, 10:09:27 PM »
Herons Socks
Bummers
Grodins
Clingfilm


buttgammon

  • You can't trust a man what's made of gas
Re: Words Teenagers use these days when buying contraception.
« Reply #14 on: August 10, 2018, 10:16:41 PM »
"Fifteen pepperami wrappers please. That's a pack of sixteen and keep one for yourself - call it a tip."

FerriswheelBueller

  • Floaters gonna float.
Re: Words Teenagers use these days when buying contraception.
« Reply #15 on: August 10, 2018, 10:27:39 PM »
Neruda’s Revenge

Gregory Torso

  • sun of the vermin wind
Re: Words Teenagers use these days when buying contraception.
« Reply #16 on: August 11, 2018, 05:09:18 AM »
Snake wellies
Cock macs
Nan's gloves

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Got to be getting his head on that for me Gary
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Words Teenagers use these days when buying contraception.
« Reply #17 on: August 11, 2018, 07:48:12 AM »
Crinkle-Cranks

Re: Words Teenagers use these days when buying contraception.
« Reply #18 on: August 11, 2018, 07:51:26 AM »
Bell-end Endz.

Re: Words Teenagers use these days when buying contraception.
« Reply #19 on: August 11, 2018, 12:46:27 PM »
Bitch Kilts

Summer Solstice Socks

Gregory Torso

  • sun of the vermin wind
Re: Words Teenagers use these days when buying contraception.
« Reply #20 on: August 11, 2018, 12:53:35 PM »
Cum Stoppers UK
Sinners Raincoats
Mrs Mangel's Ear Muffs

Clownbaby

  • Megabytes per second must be in the billions
Re: Words Teenagers use these days when buying contraception.
« Reply #21 on: August 11, 2018, 01:04:06 PM »
Shrims.

"...and some shrims please"

"Some what?"

Re: Words Teenagers use these days when buying contraception.
« Reply #22 on: August 11, 2018, 01:50:23 PM »
NODDERS

FerriswheelBueller

  • Floaters gonna float.
Re: Words Teenagers use these days when buying contraception.
« Reply #23 on: August 11, 2018, 02:38:15 PM »
Whizzers

Chap-Holders

One-Fingered Gloves

Re: Words Teenagers use these days when buying contraception.
« Reply #24 on: August 11, 2018, 03:50:29 PM »
Bastard Blockers

Blank Rounds

Re: Words Teenagers use these days when buying contraception.
« Reply #25 on: August 11, 2018, 11:30:12 PM »
Koala Thimbles

Sunday Saviours

rue the polywhirl

  • eight lives left
Re: Words Teenagers use these days when buying contraception.
« Reply #26 on: August 11, 2018, 11:54:45 PM »
A packet of condos, please.

Some miniature bin liners?

A see-through burka for my lad?

I need some Anti-Kanes to stop my striker from scoring all over the pitch.
 

Re: Words Teenagers use these days when buying contraception.
« Reply #27 on: August 12, 2018, 12:14:37 AM »
Gamete Guzzlers

Brand slogan: Meatuses Before Foetuses


Re: Words Teenagers use these days when buying contraception.
« Reply #28 on: August 12, 2018, 12:49:33 AM »
Gamete Guzzlers

Brand slogan: Meatuses Before Foetuses

Those are both beautiful and should be used, though I did have to google:

Quote
meatus
mɪˈeɪtəs/
nounAnatomy
plural noun: meatuses

    a passage or opening leading to the interior of the body.
    "the urethral meatus"


Pingers

  • With the ill behaviour
Re: Words Teenagers use these days when buying contraception.
« Reply #29 on: August 12, 2018, 09:28:48 AM »
"Some Japs eye patches please mate. Hang on, is that racist?"