Help me identify this film...

[Disc_4]

Hi guys. How's it going? I hope you're enjoying your Saturday evening...

I'm trying to identify a european (probably French IIRC) film I saw on channel 4 (i think) in the early to mid- 2000's.
I can't remember much as I was a wee nipper at the time, but i have a few details and I'm hoping you could help identify it for me!! Yey!!!
Judging by the fact that it was on channel 4, i'm guessing it was a fairly well known film, alas, i have had no luck as far as googling is concerned...

So here goes with the few scenes i remember:

1.) A woman is having sex with a man (possibly one of two love interests) on a sofa, during which she repeatedly yells "Oh my God I'm dying! I'm dying!" and he looks at her strangely whilst continue to make love to her. I think this happens twice.
2.)This same woman, at a different portion of the film, is with her child at the local school and has to explain to a concerned teacher that she cannot afford to buy her child new clothes/food/do whatever is requested as she can only afford to buy the child (or children) biscuits and milk. I specifically remember the subtitles reading "..but, no one can live off of that", to which she responds with "we dunk the biscuits in the milk and we live off of that".
3.)Woman A is talking to Woman B (a possible love rival) about her new lover and describes her new lover's penis as "...absolutely humungous. I don't know where he gets it from." to which the rival ripostes with a dry "lucky you.".
4.) Woman A is at the beach and one of the men is naked and asks her to lie down with him on the sand, to which she refuses and walks off. Then, shortly after, either he or both of them fall down a hole in the beach and have a conversation.

I know this is not a lot to go on, but as it was on channel 4 in the 200's i'm HOPING that it's a fairly easy one! I'm slightly drunk and would love to track it down.


And, in the interest of promoting discussion, if you can identify it, is it any good? I remember it being a bit weird, but gripping. Any other works by the director, or similar films that I should check out??

THANKS.

[St_Eddie]

Sorry, but I can't help you to find the title of your wet dream.

[Pearly-Dewdrops Drops]

Sex and Lucia? I can't remember if any of those exact scenes take place, but it sounds vaguely similar.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0254455/

[Bazooka]

You remember the dialogue vividly but not the film? We ain't got a chance in hell of solving this one.

Edit: I tried

[Dex Sawash]

Did anyone solve the men in brown masks of wood or leather one?

[mothman]

The milk and biscuits dialogue seems familiar. But nothing else.

[Disc_4]

Sex and Lucia? I can't remember if any of those exact scenes take place, but it sounds vaguely similar.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0254455/

Yes, i believe it is this! Thank you.

You can see in a trailer on youtube the beginning of the exciting scene i mentioned where they fall down a hole on the beach (she doesn't walk away, he rubs mud on her boobies instead of her doing that) and have a conversation...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HtAvM7Wi68&frags=pl%2Cwn

It doesn't look very good, but hey, i was 12.

You remember the dialogue vividly but not the film? We ain't got a chance in hell of solving this one.

Edit: I tried

I was going to reply to this with a statement on how I remembered the cinematography more, and that it reminded me of Krzysztof Kieślowski in my mind, and that the recent thread discussion of the Three Colours Trilogy prompted me to have more vivid memories of this film - and to begin trying to track it down again. But it's quite clear from watching some scenes and from the trailer, that the only reason it probably stuck in the nascent Disc_4 mind was that it featured a lot of tits and bums, that i wouldn't have had a chance to see elsewhere at the time...

I'm beginning to think I might be confusing the biscuits and milk scene for a different film (the scene i most wanted to see - but one which i still don't know), but i'll have to buy this film and have a good look-see.

Anyway, thanks everyone. Think we got this one.

Disc.

[Pearly-Dewdrops Drops]

Yes, i believe it is this! Thank you.

You can see in a trailer on youtube the beginning of the exciting scene i mentioned where they fall down a hole on the beach (she doesn't walk away, he rubs mud on her boobies instead of her doing that) and have a conversation...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HtAvM7Wi68&frags=pl%2Cwn

It doesn't look very good, but hey, i was 12.

The big denouement in the film is an unintentionally funny scene in which one of the main characters is having sex and his daughter interrupts and is killed by the family guard dog. I don't remember the biscuits and milk dialogue but there are definitely scenes at a school with a young girl and a suspect mother.

As a young gentleman I was a great, ahem, fan of Elena Anaya's scenes in this movie.

[Norton Canes]

OK, seeing as we're doing films you only remember for the saucy bits... another C4 showing, I think, featuring a scene where a couple have sexy intercourse in an old building while it is demolished around them.

[zomgmouse]

OK, seeing as we're doing films you only remember for the saucy bits... another C4 showing, I think, featuring a scene where a couple have sexy intercourse in an old building while it is demolished around them.

I've not seen it but it could be The Dreamers?

[Bad Ambassador]

I've seen The Dreamers, and I don't remember any buildings being demolished.

[worldsgreatestsinner]

Not thinking of Themroc? A man rebels against society, has sex with his sister and demolishes the apartment they live in, turning it into a sort of cave.

[St_Eddie]

Not thinking of Themroc? A man rebels against society, has sex with his sister and demolishes the apartment they live in, turning it into a sort of cave.

[Norton Canes]

Doesn't sound like The Dreamers or Themroc. I'm guessing it was on TV late 80's/early 90's. European and subtitled, IIRC.

Addendum to my description of the key scene: the woman is already in the building, presumably in an upper floor, because the man climbs in through the window.

[mothman]

... It isn't Delicatessen, is it?

[Pearly-Dewdrops Drops]

Doesn't sound like The Dreamers or Themroc. I'm guessing it was on TV late 80's/early 90's. European and subtitled, IIRC.

Addendum to my description of the key scene: the woman is already in the building, presumably in an upper floor, because the man climbs in through the window.

This one is easier: The Naked Gun

[Norton Canes]

... It isn't Delicatessen, is it?

Don't think so, though it's a while since I saw Delicatessen. This was quite a gritty sort of movie, I think.

[Blumf]

Addendum to my description of the key scene: the woman is already in the building, presumably in an upper floor, because the man climbs in through the window.

This one is easier: The Naked Gun

Don't you mean Carry on Doctor

[Glebe]

From another thread... any help?

Just bumping this because I have an obscure movie TV memory that I can't find anything about via the Google; my fellow not-that-young-anymore folks may remember ITV running foreign films late at night in the late '80s/early 90s, possibly as part of there Night Time schedule... you'd kind of watch them for naughty bits, but then get strangely emotionally caught-up in the continental romance of it all! Anyway, the film I'm thinking of was possibly Italian or French, and was about a group of old men (retired soldiers, I think) in a convalescent home or summit... one of them is a bit younger, a kind of bearded silver fox, and he has a bit of a romance with a younger woman. Any ideas? Thanks in advance, nostalgic TV watchers!

[New Jack]

fuckin hell, your intro is longer than the movie facts for us to recognise...

Er, Cocoon?

[mothman]

The English Patient?

[BlodwynPig]

Did anyone solve the men in brown masks of wood or leather one?

was that fredtitmus' (where is he?) gangster one?

[BlodwynPig]

French - black and white - two mothers meet on a bench in a train station accompanied by their young sons. The children go off to play and the mothers begin a romance. It was only a clip of a film - probably from one of those Channel 4 Best of programmes "I ❤️ the lesbians" or something.

[bgmnts]

Les lezzeurs?

[JesusAndYourBush]

Can anyone remember what film this is.  (It's also possible it's a book, or that it's neither and I dreamt it.)

Scifi.  An alien threat has been detected and everyone in the world puts aside their differences and comes together to fight them.  This involves every country with nuclear weapons pooling them so one vast mega nuke can be fired at the aliens.  They're successful and the aliens are defeated, but afterwards it's suggested there never were any aliens and it was just a ploy to get rid of all the nukes.