Author Topic: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing  (Read 15586 times)

Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #30 on: September 01, 2018, 09:28:00 PM »
paul mccartney goes all round his friends telling them the plot of some time-travel sitcom he's come up with in a dream, convinced that it already exists & that therefore he can't use the idea himself. no-one recognises it, & so he approaches the then-new BBC2 with his show, "yesterday I had scrambled eggs".


Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #31 on: September 01, 2018, 09:41:50 PM »

Paul McCartney goes back in time to fetch Otis Redding so they can go forward in time to save John Lennon from being shot? Will they arrive in time to save John before he goes forward in time to stop Kurt Cobain killing himself so they can go back in time to stop Janis Joplin dying so they can go forward in time to save Keith Moon from overdosing?

BlodwynPig

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Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #32 on: September 01, 2018, 09:58:16 PM »
Paul McCartney goes back in time to fetch Otis Redding so they can go forward in time to save John Lennon from being shot? Will they arrive in time to save John before he goes forward in time to stop Kurt Cobain killing himself so they can go back in time to stop Janis Joplin dying so they can go forward in time to save Keith Moon from overdosing?

All are saved and together they travel forward in time to slaughter an infant Ed Sheeran.

Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #33 on: September 01, 2018, 10:07:16 PM »
All are saved and together they travel forward in time to slaughter an infant Ed Sheeran.

the movie is called "go 'ed"

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #34 on: September 02, 2018, 05:13:08 AM »
If we’re lucky, a meteor strike (or nuclear war) will make earth uninhabitable before this is released. Fingers crossed!

BlodwynPig

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Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #35 on: September 02, 2018, 11:46:49 AM »
A meteor strike and nuclear war leaves the entire planet deserted except for a time travelling Ed McCartney mutant who brings Uncle Albert back from the past to be his audience for a concert featuring purloined Reef songs

BlodwynPig

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Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #36 on: September 02, 2018, 11:48:10 AM »
Bilbo Baggins flies to Mars on a maroon mobility scooter and forgets the words to I am the Walrus

Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #37 on: September 02, 2018, 11:57:07 AM »
Paul McCartney provides the voice of Eddie Yates as he, Stan Ogden, Len Fairclough and Albert Tatlock climb aboard a purple zeppelin and fly to Brown Sauce Land to revive Col. Mustard's Singletons Swing Band and save them from the Ketchup Kunts.

BlodwynPig

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Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #38 on: September 02, 2018, 12:08:45 PM »
Barry Chuckle is resurrected by Ed Sheeran but only sees in monochrome. They travel back in time and record Sgt. Peppers Lonely Heart Club Band in 1965 with elastic bands and vinegar. It’s universally panned by Bilbo Baggins.

Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #39 on: September 02, 2018, 01:00:31 PM »
Paul McCartney goes back in time to fetch Otis Redding so they can go forward in time to save John Lennon from being shot? Will they arrive in time to save John before he goes forward in time to stop Kurt Cobain killing himself so they can go back in time to stop Janis Joplin dying so they can go forward in time to save Keith Moon from overdosing?

That's Bill and Ted. (better than Wayne's world)

icehaven

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Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #40 on: September 02, 2018, 02:15:02 PM »
A while ago I put the tv on just as a film called About Time was starting, and the guide said it was about a young man who discovers he can go back in time within his own lifetime. I'm a big Quantum Leap fan, and it sounded a bit Twilight Zoney too so I gave it go. By the time it got to the Kate Moss exhibition I was thinking "what the actual fuck am I watching here?!" and Googled it. Imagine my horror on discovering it had fallen from the anus of none other than Richard Curtis. He's obviously got some mad cob on for applying mild scifi concepts to his shitty posho romcom formula hasn't he? Bloody mindboggling to think what he'll come up with next, maybe 4 Weddings and an Alien Invasion but the aliens are affable upper middle class folks only distinguishable from the human characters by the fact they can only eat food from one particular Bistro in North London.

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #41 on: September 02, 2018, 02:41:29 PM »
A while ago I put the tv on just as a film called About Time was starting, and the guide said it was about a young man who discovers he can go back in time within his own lifetime. I'm a big Quantum Leap fan, and it sounded a bit Twilight Zoney too so I gave it go. By the time it got to the Kate Moss exhibition I was thinking "what the actual fuck am I watching here?!" and Googled it. Imagine my horror on discovering it had fallen from the anus of none other than Richard Curtis.

I just read the wikipedia page for About Time - I am so sorry you had to watch that. It reads like a shit, lazy satire of Richard Curtis with a load of posho cutesy diminutive names for characters who “decide” to go to London and be lawyers etc. Mr Brightside by the Killers is on the soundtrack.

I feel violated for having learned about it. Ugh ugh ugh.

BlodwynPig

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Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #42 on: September 02, 2018, 04:46:57 PM »
It was panned by everyone including all involved (in between cocaine binges)

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #43 on: September 02, 2018, 05:15:36 PM »
It was panned by everyone including all involved (in between cocaine binges)

700% box office return on the budget allocated. There will be more.

mothman

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Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #44 on: September 02, 2018, 05:18:55 PM »
Four Weddings and an Alien Invasion.

Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #45 on: September 02, 2018, 08:22:16 PM »
A while ago I put the tv on just as a film called About Time was starting, and the guide said it was about a young man who discovers he can go back in time within his own lifetime. I'm a big Quantum Leap fan, and it sounded a bit Twilight Zoney too so I gave it go. By the time it got to the Kate Moss exhibition I was thinking "what the actual fuck am I watching here?!" and Googled it. Imagine my horror on discovering it had fallen from the anus of none other than Richard Curtis. He's obviously got some mad cob on for applying mild scifi concepts to his shitty posho romcom formula hasn't he? Bloody mindboggling to think what he'll come up with next, maybe 4 Weddings and an Alien Invasion but the aliens are affable upper middle class folks only distinguishable from the human characters by the fact they can only eat food from one particular Bistro in North London.

I was going to follow this up with an angry rant about An Education but it turns out that bucket of shit is Nick Hornby's whimsy.

icehaven

  • I will be in the bar, with my head on the bar
Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #46 on: September 02, 2018, 09:46:23 PM »
I was going to follow this up with an angry rant about An Education but it turns out that bucket of shit is Nick Hornby's whimsy.

Based on a biographical essay by Lynn Barber, though I've no idea how much is her story and how much was Hornby generated.

falafel

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Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #47 on: September 02, 2018, 09:48:45 PM »
They'll have to address the Paul and Ringo issue. Are they alive within the world of this film? Will they turn up at the end, regaining their own memories of The Beatles?

McCARTNEY: 'Oh, alright there, Ed. You're that singer, aren't you. I forgot we existed for about 90 minutes, there. Who's this chap been making money off our tunes? What do you think to all this, Ringo? And we all thought you were only famous for Thomas the Tank Engine.'
STARR: 'What's Thomas the Tank Engine, Paul? You don't half talk some shite, y'know.'
SHEERAN: 'Yeah, Paul, what's Thomas the Tank Engine? And yes I am that singer.'

Thus paving the way for a sequel in which Paul McCartney, played by himself, is the only man on Earth who can remember Thomas the Tank Engine. I've spoken to Brosnan's people, he'll do a cameo (voice only).

Ringo Starr is the only person alive who can remember Paul McCartney's solo career. Then Ed Sheeran is the only person alive who can remember the film about the man who is the only person alive who can remember the Beatles

the midnight watch baboon

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Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #48 on: September 02, 2018, 10:24:48 PM »
The linked piece on this states the high concept four times in a row at the outset!

Can all journos and writers stop repeating and or abusing the arrow of time please now lads.

Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #49 on: September 02, 2018, 10:27:40 PM »
Based on a biographical essay by Lynn Barber, though I've no idea how much is her story and how much was Hornby generated.

It's just whimsical bollocks cloaking something rather grim and sordid. I really didn't like it.

Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #50 on: September 02, 2018, 10:44:55 PM »
It's just whimsical bollocks cloaking something rather grim and sordid. I really didn't like it.

Which is my feeling about The Boat That Rocked, oddly enough.

Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #51 on: September 02, 2018, 10:52:54 PM »
Can't argue with that.

Ballad of Ballard Berkley

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Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #52 on: September 03, 2018, 12:55:52 AM »
Just watched About Time for research purposes. It makes no sense whatsoever. An absolute fucking shambles of a film.

Noel Edmonds could probably write and direct a more coherent film than that.

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #53 on: September 03, 2018, 01:18:15 AM »
Just watched About Time for research purposes. It makes no sense whatsoever. An absolute fucking shambles of a film.

Noel Edmonds could probably write and direct a more coherent film than that.

Would the CEO of Lloyd’s Banking Group going back in time and stopping himself from cheating Neol Edmunds out of his lucre capture the hearts of the public in the same way though? Probably not. Stick to the radio show, Neol.

Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #54 on: September 03, 2018, 01:33:31 AM »
Boyhood

Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #55 on: September 03, 2018, 03:23:36 AM »
Richard Curtis goes back in time to the 1450's but is unable to return, triggering worldwide jubilation in the present day

Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #56 on: September 03, 2018, 04:30:17 AM »
It would be funnier if the person who wakes up to discover he's the only one in the world who can remember the Beatles was Mark David Chapman.

Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #57 on: September 03, 2018, 06:35:34 AM »
Has no one wondered exactly how long you would go before even realising the Beatles didnt exist? I love the Beatles but think weeks could pass potentially without me having cause to mention them or certainly to listen to any of their stuff. "Wakes one morning to find that no one remember the Beatles" implies he wakes up in his room of beatles memorbilia to find its all changed, and tgen spends an hour listening to the radio and starts panicking when not one Beatles track is played.

Whats the logic of this occurence going to be? As mentioned is it a result of some weird and over specific mass mental breakdown or is gonna be an altered timeline kind of thing where they never actually happened? Eitherway it sounds really stoopid.

Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #58 on: September 03, 2018, 12:56:13 PM »
The ending will be "It was all a dream" Nailed on.

turnstyle

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Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #59 on: September 03, 2018, 01:25:24 PM »
The ending will be "It was all a dream" Nailed on.

'Wait a minute, is this a dream? Perhaps...I'M ONLY SLEEPING.'

BAM.

Credits.