Author Topic: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing  (Read 20509 times)

Thomas

  • well they do all sixteen dances.
This must be a delayed April Fool.

Ed Sheeran to play himself in Danny Boyle's Beatles-inspired movie

Quote
Ed Sheeran will play himself in Danny Boyle’s next film, which is based around a singer-songwriter who wakes up one morning and discovers he’s the only person in the world who remembers the Beatles, The Associated Press reports.

In the film, Sheeran finds Himseh Patel’s character, brings him on tour and watches him turn into a superstar, ostensibly by playing the Beatles’ music.

“It’s very clever,” Sheeran said. “They shot it around loads of my gigs. So it was a very intense two months. Because I would have four days of gigging and then three days of shooting a film. I was playing myself, so I don’t think I was that bad. There wasn’t much to [mess] up.”

Written by Richard Curtis, obviously. Jesus, Danny, just do Bond. It's like a parodic Black Mirror plot by a pissed one of you lot.

black mirror idea

ed sheeran wakes up and he's the only person who can remmeber the beatles


(I'm sure Ed Sheeran is only in it a little bit, and I'm aware that it's Himesh Patel's character whom remembers the Beatles).

Isn't this the plot of 'Goodnight Sweetheart'?

Mister Six

  • Half-masted, bass-boosted, sling-backed
Yeah, sounds like Sheeran will only be in it as a supporting character, at most, and largely as a way to shoot big concert scenes on a budget.

The idea does sound a bit shit, though. It's Boyle, so it'll look good, but he's not really very good at elevating mediocre scripts, I think, so I don't hold out massive hopes for this being a huge success.

Thomas

  • well they do all sixteen dances.
Love Actually is one of the few films I've been happy to sit through on the vaunted 'so bad it's good' factor. Richard Curtis' vision of a functioning community is five painfully posh people standing around a kitchen island. In fact, I'd probably watch it again. But this will have Ed Sheeran in it.

Butchers Blind

  • Porterage where necessary
I like most of Boyle's work but loathe anything Sheeran.  Hopefully there's still time to amend this casting issue.

Curtis hasn't written anything good since The Tall Guy or Blackadder Goes Fourth... whichever came first (I know they were both 1989).

Funcrusher

  • Been shot up more times than Tom Mix
This is a very Gervasian idea.

Curtis hasn't written anything good since The Tall Guy or Blackadder Goes Fourth... whichever came first (I know they were both 1989).

It's the Tall Guy as Blackadder Goes Fourth isn't very good.

Thomas

  • well they do all sixteen dances.
He wrote a good episode of Doctor Who in 2010, to be fair to the lad.

Twed

  • What, prick? That's my child. My Johnson's child
Quote
“It’s very clever,” Sheeran said.

biggytitbo

  • WHAT ABOUT THE GODDAM JAFFA CAKES ASSWIPE
    • theunredacted
Bernard and the Genie, Mr Bean, some early episodes of the Vicar of Dibley and Vincent and the Doctor where all good.

This sounds almost absurdly awful though, like a quickly knocked out comic relief spoof.

a duncandisorderly

  • the rough and tumble of the internet
Jesus, Danny, just do Bond.

no. please no.
the one thing worse than another sam mendes aston-martin wankfest would be that.

BlodwynPig

  • Throwing two dogs at a goblin
The Beatles - tick
Ed Sheeran - tick
Danny Boyle - tick
Richard Curtis - tick

Perfect film for me!

BlodwynPig

  • Throwing two dogs at a goblin
I hope the character played by Patel remembers the Beatles but is tone deaf and all the songs sound like Crunk versions of children's nursery rhymes backed by a confused Sheeran.

Thomas

  • well they do all sixteen dances.
This sounds almost absurdly awful though, like a quickly knocked out comic relief spoof.

They'll have to address the Paul and Ringo issue. Are they alive within the world of this film? Will they turn up at the end, regaining their own memories of The Beatles?

McCARTNEY: 'Oh, alright there, Ed. You're that singer, aren't you. I forgot we existed for about 90 minutes, there. Who's this chap been making money off our tunes? What do you think to all this, Ringo? And we all thought you were only famous for Thomas the Tank Engine.'
STARR: 'What's Thomas the Tank Engine, Paul? You don't half talk some shite, y'know.'
SHEERAN: 'Yeah, Paul, what's Thomas the Tank Engine? And yes I am that singer.'

Thus paving the way for a sequel in which Paul McCartney, played by himself, is the only man on Earth who can remember Thomas the Tank Engine. I've spoken to Brosnan's people, he'll do a cameo (voice only).

Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #15 on: September 01, 2018, 12:54:37 PM »
The sequel is already in production: Pharrell Williams claims he can't remember what a Marvin Gaye is.

mothman

  • I don't know why
Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #16 on: September 01, 2018, 01:37:08 PM »
^ I like the idea of Robin Thicke getting excited at the prospect of a career revival, until he learns he’s being played by, I dunno, Jason Segal.

Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #17 on: September 01, 2018, 02:27:09 PM »
This is a very Gervasian idea.

With a couple of changes, it becomes the most Gervaisian idea possible:

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Ed Sheeran will play himself in Danny Boyle’s next film, which is based around a singer-songwritercomedian who wakes up one morning and discovers he’s the only person in the world who remembers the Beatlesdoesn't believe in God

Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #18 on: September 01, 2018, 03:14:35 PM »
Quote
Ed Sheeran will play himself in Danny Boyle’s next film, which is based around a singer-songwritercomedian who wakes up one morning and discovers he’s the only person in the world who remembers the Beatlesdoesn't believe in GodGarry Shandling

Ja'moke

  • based on the novel Push by Sapphire
    • Inside Survivor
Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #19 on: September 01, 2018, 03:22:26 PM »
Holy shit. I had an idea similar to this years ago which never made it past "jotted into iPhone notes" stage.

It was called Reaching Nirvana - a high school band invent a time machine and go back in time before Nirvana existed and get popular by playing Nirvana songs.

I thought it sounded too shit to actually go any further with it. I should have sent it to Richard Curtis/Danny Boyle obviously.


Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #20 on: September 01, 2018, 04:09:03 PM »
[tag]THIS'LL BE SHIT, I RECKON[/tag]

Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #21 on: September 01, 2018, 04:44:09 PM »
That does sound genuinely shit.

Twed

  • What, prick? That's my child. My Johnson's child
Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #22 on: September 01, 2018, 04:47:56 PM »
Holy shit. I had an idea similar to this years ago which never made it past "jotted into iPhone notes" stage.

It was called Reaching Nirvana - a high school band invent a time machine and go back in time before Nirvana existed and get popular by playing Nirvana songs.
I think that's called Goodnight Sweetheart.

Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #23 on: September 01, 2018, 05:19:00 PM »
This sounds like the kind of film that should somehow include Mike Meyers.

BritishHobo

  • That is a really reductive impression
Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #24 on: September 01, 2018, 05:22:30 PM »
I had a similar similar idea, about a bloke (played by Ed Sheeran) who travels back in time and publishes The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings and all of the other Middle Earth historia, driving JRR Tolkien mad because the expansive world in his head has been somehow stolen by someone else (played by Ed Sheeran).

It's entirely possible that in reality both these ideas are extremely successful films, but Danny Boyle has woken up to find that nobody else remembers them, and so he's ripped them off. Twat.

Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #25 on: September 01, 2018, 05:22:38 PM »
This sounds like the kind of film that should somehow include Mike Meyers.

Even Adam Sandler would go 'pfft' at this premise.

Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #26 on: September 01, 2018, 05:28:57 PM »
Goodnight Butthead

Ja'moke

  • based on the novel Push by Sapphire
    • Inside Survivor
Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #27 on: September 01, 2018, 05:45:52 PM »
I think that's called Goodnight Sweetheart.

I vaguely remember Goodnight Sweetheart from when I was a kid. Could have seeped into my subconcious. Can’t remember the one where Nicholas Lyndhurst sang Smells Like Teen Spirit though, will have to YouTube it.

BlodwynPig

  • Throwing two dogs at a goblin
Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #28 on: September 01, 2018, 07:51:49 PM »
Ed Sheeran goes back in time and convinces Paul McCartney to star in a new sitcom ‘he’s written’ called Goodnight, Sweetheart.

a duncandisorderly

  • the rough and tumble of the internet
Re: The wankest film idea ever conceived? Danny Boyle's Ed Sheeran Beatles thing
« Reply #29 on: September 01, 2018, 09:14:20 PM »
Ed Sheeran goes back in time and convinces Paul McCartney to star in a new sitcom ‘he’s written’ called Goodnight, Sweetheart.

paul mccartney goes all round his friends telling them the plot of some time-travel sitcom he's come up with in a dream, convinced that it already exists & that therefore he can't use the idea himself. no-one recognises it, & so he approaches the then-new BBC2 with his show, "yesterday I had scrambled eggs".