Fucking mad stuff you've done

[popcorn]

Turned my washing machine on - with no laundry inside. Just went round and round with nothing in it. Wasting its fucking time. Had no idea. Just an idiot machine. Can't know. I was howling.

[kittens]

once you've flushed the toilet once you can move the handle and pretend to flush it again five or six times while it's flushing from the first flush and pretend that your toilet isn't already flushing and it's broken and be like great now i have to call the plumber but you don't actually need to call the plumber it's just a bit of fun.

[Ferris]

Done a really big wee in the morning.

[popcorn]

Done a really big wee in the morning.

Really ??

[Ferris]

no i was lying to be cool :( sorry

yeh it was massive

[Glebe]

Opened a macaque sanctuary.

[Hecate]

Put a rotten fish in the freezer

"Yes sir, sorry sir, I'll keep this fresh for you!"
"I don't pay you to think, FUCKER!"

Whole room full of obsequious, toadying little morons. They make me sick. What's with the all white garb as well? They look like they're in a fucking cult.

"Yes sir, sorry sir, shall I call the police now?"
"Why do you keep saying that? Why are you sorry? What have you done?"

You know what, I might just brick that room up, let them fend for themselves for a while, see if they've got the nous to see the week out on their own.

"Oh dear, pots and pans, pots and pans, oh me, oh my, what a todo. MASTER! Oh do come quick!"

Take the pizza from the freezer, put it in the oven, they've seen me do it a thousand times. They're fucking idiots!

Here, Popcorn, next time, put some clean washing in your washing machine, odds are the soppy sod'll start washing them!

[grassbath]

Retained a dirty coin in my foreskin for approx 1 min.

[grassbath]

Put a burqa on a mannequin in Debenhams.

[grassbath]

Heard the couple next door having a tearful argument and screamed 'shut up, cunts!'

[Stoneage Dinosaurs]

Threw a dentist off a bridge

[grassbath]

Trimmed my pubes with a pair of scissors in the Topman changing room.

[Pingers]

Heard the couple next door having a tearful argument and screamed 'shut up, cunts!'

Did they then keep arguing? "You're the cunt", "No, you're the cunt!"

[Maurice Yeatman]

Threw a dentist off a bridge

"Fucking hell, I can't afford £400 for a bridge. I'll just chew on the other side."

[Ferris]

Threw a dentist off a bridge

Tossed a dentist off, for a bridge.