Best public argument you've seen/heard

[Mister Six]

I do quite like a one sided argument.  People screaming down the phone at an unknown enemy.  I remember once walking behind this guy who was clearly a bit ticked off with someone the calm menace in his voice as he told him what he was going to do to him was chilling.

What did he say he was going to do?

[Sebastian Cobb]

I've done that.  It wasn't the 31 from Manchester Piccadilly to Farnworth one week night was it?  Cunt saw me but tried to pull away from the stop.  I went fully Tianamen Square on his bus driver ass.

'This bus is not moving until you let me on!'  He'd open the door then as tried to get on he'd close them and try to drive off.  I was prepared to go under it's wheels to prove a point.

No matter where I've lived I'm always the last person off the bus.

It was tense I can tell you.

Yes but which war did you fight in?

[Icehaven]

No doubt I've recounted this one in one of the many bus driver threads we have every other week, so I'll just say it ended up with a man stood in front of a bus preventing it from departing, loudly declaring to the driver that 'I fought in the war to stop people like you'.

I was sitting upstairs at the front of a bus once when it pulled out from a stop while a car was attempting to pass by, forcing the driver to swerve across to the wrong side of the road where there was a nearly stationary queue of traffic, and he only just squeezed through. He banged his horn about 20 times then stopped right in front of the bus and didn't move for about 10 minutes. I dread to think what the queue building up behind was like but I don't think the bus driver gave two shits, probably just read the paper and enjoyed the break.

[Endicott]

I've done that.  It wasn't the 31 from Manchester Piccadilly to Farnworth one week night was it?  Cunt saw me but tried to pull away from the stop.  I went fully Tianamen Square on his bus driver ass.

Almost. Essex in 1986. Bus driver saw people at the stop and decided not to stop at all. Got caught at the lights that are 20 yards past the stop, by the plucky sexagenarian veteran.

[wosl]

This will come across as a bit soft, mainly because most of the magic resides in the intonation, but one evening sitting in a friend's front room (in Milton, Staffs!) a low-level altercation started up in the street outside.  After a few minutes of muffled back-and-forth, a voice suddenly snapped into focus: "Fucking hell, he's got a blade!"  Something about the choice of 'blade' over 'knife' and the tone of hypnotised awe in the man's voice as he said it.  A lovely bit of urban poetry minted grace-under-pressure in the field.

[Sebastian Cobb]

This will come across as a bit soft, mainly because most of the magic resides in the intonation, but one evening sitting in a friend's front room (in Milton, Staffs!) a low-level altercation started up in the street outside.  After a few minutes of muffled back-and-forth, a voice suddenly snapped into focus: "Fucking hell, he's got a blade!"  Something about the choice of 'blade' over 'knife' and the tone of hypnotised awe in the man's voice as he said it.  A lovely bit of urban poetry minted grace-under-pressure in the field.

One of my mates had a flat above The Pittodrie bar (so the one all the Aberdeen fans went to) and overheard through the window 'Man up, stamp on his heid'.

[Ambient Sheep]

Almost. Essex in 1986. Bus driver saw people at the stop and decided not to stop at all. Got caught at the lights that are 20 yards past the stop, by the plucky sexagenarian veteran.

I was going to link (not for the first time) to my cunt bus driver / air-raid-siren story but oddly Google can't find it now.

Just wondered if was the same guy, as mine was Essex in 1984.

[Endicott]

Just wondered if was the same guy, as mine was Essex in 1984.

Brentwood High Street. I'm afraid I can't recall the bus number :-)

Was he foreign? My plucky sexagenarian veteran, for whom the term gammon might have been invented, was insinuating that he was foreign. I've got no idea, I didn't get to know the drivers that personally.

[Cerys]

Maybe he was suggesting that the driver was a Nazi.

[Endicott]

He did drive the bus very on time.

[Nice Relaxing Poo]

I am currently on holiday somewhere hot, where I have just witnessed a bar fight between two small lizards who were quibbling over the ownership of a straw:



The Mr Lizard on the right won and proceeded to spend half an hour licking his prize. Desperate reptilian pisshead.

Reminds me of this old pic

[Captain Poodle Basher]

I do quite like a one sided argument.  People screaming down the phone at an unknown enemy.  I remember once walking behind this guy who was clearly a bit ticked off with someone the calm menace in his voice as he told him what he was going to do to him was chilling.

Early summer last year as I was heading home from work, there was a woman ahead of me screaming and I mean screaming "AAAARFGHFUCKYOUFUCKAAAARGHINGCUUUUUUNTFUCKYOUWAAAAAAAARGH!" into her phone. Then she'd clamp it to her ear for few seconds before holding it about six inches from her face and screaming at it yet again. All I could get was that she was being dumped via a phonecall. This went on the whole length of the street with passers by giving her very wide berth as she barrelled along. At one point she barged into a bunch of schoolgirls, scattering them across the pavement. She went off up another street, still yelling at the top of her lungs - even as she faded out of my hearing, I could see pedestrians reacting to her.

I wondered if the person on the other end was even there by this stage.

To add to the pathos, she was dressed in a very odd manner, along with her makeup, which was like what an 8 year old thinks is "Mummy dressed up for a night out." All unflattering clothes with far too much lipstick and eye shadow.

[DangledTeeth]

I remember seeing a couple of women standing on the curb (I think they'd just crossed over).

They both appeared to be in their mid 30s, each with the appearance of a hill climber.

I'm not sure why, the woman facing my direction - who had frizzy hair - twice leaned forward and made an exaggerated spitting sound. ''TTTTEGH!'' Then the other woman did kicked Frizzy in her thigh. There was a brief exchange of glares before the pair of them simultaneously bowed and gripped each other's hair. One of them threw a couple of limp right hooks and Frizzy softly blurted ''Uuuurgh! You cunt!''

[Cuntbeaks]

I lived in a shithole called Gibshill in Greenock for a few years and in that time I saw some explosive arguments and physic fights.

6am, beautiful Summer's morning, coming down off acid, i hear screaming and shouting coming from up the street. I just lay there, this stuff is old hat. However, it continues until my curiosity can take no more.

I open the window and right up the street, in the middle of the road, beside the phone box, about 150 metres away is a local mum and daughter screaming and grappling with one another. Punches, kicks, screaming and hair pulling continued for a few more minutes until the daughter, judo like, throws the mother a fair few feet in the air, straight onto the road.

The sound of her slapping onto the concrete in the still morning air was nothing short of hilarious. She bounced back up and they went at it again before running off behind some houses.

[Butchers Blind]

In a pub about six months ago and two fellas at the other end were having quite a heated argument about what I couldn't make out. Then one of them raises his voice and shouts, "The mouth is more intimate, its where you put food!!"
Didn't get to hear the rest of the conversation but that was enough.

[yesitsme]

What did he say he was going to do?

He was telling the callee to come and meet him to 'sort it out like a man'.  It wasn't what he was saying it was the way he was saying it.  Like a Mafia henchman who'd done some seriously terrible things to people and not lost a wink of sleep over it.

Probably talking to the speaking clock.

[Shaky]

At some music festival or other I once woke up to the soothing sounds of a couple arguing in the next tent about the man having shat over her clothes during the night.

"You got shit in my shoe. SHIT IN MY SHOE!"

[garbed_attic]

When I saw The National a few months back at All Points East a couple were having a raging argument while they played 'Terrible Love', which was quite something.

[QDRPHNC]

Don't know if it counts as a public argument, but not five minutes ago I shouted at a strange man who looked like he was about to take a shit in my back garden. Saw his cock and everything.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Don't know if it counts as a public argument, but not five minutes ago I shouted at a strange man who looked like he was about to take a shit in my back garden. Saw his cock and everything.

Some bellend started pull onto a roundabout as I was cycling round it with my left arm out to indicate I was planning on leaving the roundabout on the turn after his. Which meant I had to brake hard with my front brake whilst turning my indication into a quizzical palm up (think trying to balance a football on your fingertips) whilst mouthing a rather aggressive 'WHAT THE FUCK‽'. I didn't know I had the co-ordination in me. I'm glad I didn't fall off and look like a tool.

This has reminded me of when we were teenagers my mate Neil had a clio which was lowered to fuck on fat tyres. He used to drive what in hindsight one would call 'like a knob' and used to take great pleasure at turning really tight round islands and getting the back to kick out a bit. One time he was turning right at a mini island and someone drove onto it, presumably assuming by his speed on the lead-up meant he had to be going straight on, anyway, she cut him and stopped in a panic as he slid slowly round the island going sideways into his turning while belming at her.

[Cuntbeaks]

Don't know if it counts as a public argument, but not five minutes ago I shouted at a strange man who looked like he was about to take a shit in my back garden. Saw his cock and everything.

I thought your Dad was still in prison?

[Bobloblawslawbomb]

Don't know if it counts as a public argument, but not five minutes ago I shouted at a strange man who looked like he was about to take a shit in my back garden. Saw his cock and everything.

Joe Pasquale?

[manticore]

I was walking down a high street in Essex with a Canadian woman once and there were two men squaring up to each other and making threats while a couple of people watched and everyone else just walked by. My Canadian friend said that back home if that kind of thing happened there would be several passers by intervening saying things like 'okay, calm down, what's the problem here', or whatever it is Canadians say, I can't remember.

Probably true of a lot of countries that.

[hummingofevil]

Two arguments I heard in one trip home a few years back stick in my head.

First was a drunk couple in street on way to train station in Leeds. He'd been giving her shit for not giving up the cigs.

"Well you can fuck off cos alcohol gives ya cancer an' all."

---

Second I have no idea of context but coming out of Newcastle train station and walking past Bigg Market on Friday night.

"Not bacon dickhead; 'bakin', like bakin' bread."

[Galeee]

One night in Glastonbury, sleeping in a van on the street. We were parked near a doorway where a homeless woman had also decided to bed down for the night, behind her supermarket trolley.
Then a couple decided to have an all night long argument, at the top of their voices. It was quite remarkable and must have required a lot of stamina, to keep it going for so long. The male half was the noisier, rising and falling, dipping down to hoarse pleas for reconciliation, leading to deep moans of despair when she wasn't having any of it. "Babe, pleeeeeeeeeeeease..aaaaaaah"
The female squeaked in sharp staccato bursts, punctuated by longer exasperated shrieks.
An added element was that this marathon argument was mobile, as they also wandered round the town for the whole night, so their voices would fade into the night, then the volume would build as they returned. We literally didn't get any sleep.
In the morning, blearily exiting the van, saw the homeless woman was also rising. Our eyes met over a large purple bra in the middle of the road. We both tutted and went our separate ways..

[LanceUppercut]

About 20 years ago my dad lives down manningham lane in Bradford(possibly one of the biggest shitholes in a shitholes town).

Anyway there was a takeaway across the road, i heard some commotion then got up to see what was going down, 5 or 6 lads were arguing with all the staff and they were screaming and shouting, next thing all these lads started smashing all the windows up and the takeaway staff jumped over the counter with machetes.

It was honestly like watching something from a movie, blood everywhere, couple of people KO'd on the floor with people stamping on their heads, fucking brutal it was, I was just watching it with my jaw on the floor.

Eventually everyone dissapated and I went back to bed no police or anything though, turned up during the night or the next day!

[mothman]

[H-O-W-L]

This will come across as a bit soft, mainly because most of the magic resides in the intonation, but one evening sitting in a friend's front room (in Milton, Staffs!) a low-level altercation started up in the street outside.  After a few minutes of muffled back-and-forth, a voice suddenly snapped into focus: "Fucking hell, he's got a blade!"  Something about the choice of 'blade' over 'knife' and the tone of hypnotised awe in the man's voice as he said it.  A lovely bit of urban poetry minted grace-under-pressure in the field.

Creased.

[yesitsme]

About 20 years ago my dad lives down manningham lane in Bradford(possibly one of the biggest shitholes in a shitholes town).

Anyway there was a takeaway across the road, i heard some commotion then got up to see what was going down, 5 or 6 lads were arguing with all the staff and they were screaming and shouting, next thing all these lads started smashing all the windows up and the takeaway staff jumped over the counter with machetes.

It was honestly like watching something from a movie, blood everywhere, couple of people KO'd on the floor with people stamping on their heads, fucking brutal it was, I was just watching it with my jaw on the floor.

Eventually everyone dissapated and I went back to bed no police or anything though, turned up during the night or the next day!

My cousin-in-law who's in the police was once called to a disturbance at a chippy.  When he got there the owner told him that someone had come in with a knife and told him to open the till.  He'd filled a jug with scalding fat and thrown it at him.  Sure enough on the wall behind where the robber had stood was a perfect outline of a man but in chip fat.

He checked with A&E but no one had been in.

These things sort themselves out don't they?

[Sebastian Cobb]

Fucking hell that's brutal.