Sam Wollaston finally fucks off [split topic]

[kngen]

Good news though, she's stood in a few times and she was 1000% better.

Was always a relief when we got one of her reviews across our desk, as you could actually do some work on it and make it presentable (and not really have to do that much – and she filed on time and to the word count, so basically a sub's dream) , rather than the Gordian knot that was Sam's copy. Unsubbable, really.

I suppose I won't change anyone's mind about him if I say that he's a lovely bloke who gets his round in, but he is.  He's also very tight with the upper echelons at the Graun and always has been, and was encouraged to write in that style from the get-go, so make of that what you will.

[Utter Shit]

Yeah to be fair I saw some interview with him once and he seemed like a nice guy, which was annoying.

[marquis_de_sad]

Lucy Mangan has replaced him.

Her photo caption:

Lucy Mangan. Byline. Photo: Linda Nylind ** Bylines have already been processed, colour corrected and cut-out by Imaging and are stored in >Editorial 01 >Resources 01 >Permanent Resources >Writers' portraits ** Photograph: Linda Nylind for the Guardian

[Zetetic]

All the Guardian's contributor photos seem to be designed to make their subjects look like they might be CGI'd. Like they're prepping us for actual bot-written articles.

Sam Wollaston was a hero to those with no creative ability and little work ethic - he showed that these things were no impediment to becoming widely published and well-recompensed.

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

Imagine if Sam Wollaston published a thick compendium of his best TV reviews, a la Clive James. Just imagine that. You'd have to admire the gall of the man.

You'd have to admire his balls.

[Uncle TechTip]

Lovely bloke

And there is how you get ahead in any work environment - affability and smarming up to the leaders.

He knows though, doesn't he. See what is presumably his new Twitter bio:

"Guardian feature writer, formally TV critic."

[mothman]

Formally?

[kngen]

And there is how you get ahead in any work environment - affability and smarming up to the leaders.

Being, or at least having the demeanour of being, vaguely aristocratic doesn't hurt either, at least at the Graun.

"Guardian feature writer, formally TV critic."

Hoo-boy. 'When writers are left to their own devices without subs watching over them Part 23434'

[Uncle TechTip]

I thought you'd appreciate that.

[Ambient Sheep]

Being, or at least having the demeanour of being, vaguely aristocratic doesn't hurt either, at least at the Graun.

Wow, the irony, although these days I can't say that I'm surprised.


Funnily enough, for reasons to boring to go into, earlier today I was reading this rather fun 2014 interview with Jason Bateman conducted by the hideous Hadley Freeman, and one of the comments was this:

It is a mystery as baffling as what Dorian Grey-like bargain Bateman, 45, struck to maintain such lustrous hair (seriously, it puts Kate Middleton's to shame) that a man who has been acting since the age of 13 (in US sitcoms Silver Spoons and Valerie), who was, by his own admission, a "cut-up" in his 20s with a taste for alcohol and drugs, but is now, via some classy supporting roles (Juno, Up in the Air), a bona-fide comedy leading man (Horrible Bosses, Identity Thief) can be so darned nice

What kind of sub-editor let this train-wreck of a sentence get published?

(And yes I'm well-aware of the irony that it reads like one of my posts from fifteen years ago, before I discovered full-stops and cut down on the parentheses.  Just needed a semicolon and a dash or two to be complete, although IIRC semicolons are against the Graun's style guide.)


^{_{please don't be the sub (if any) concerned kngen please don't be the sub (if any) concerned kngen please don't be the sub (if any) concerned kngen please don't be the sub (if any) concerned kngen}}

[Funcrusher]

For unintelligible rambling gibberish Zoe Williams was always the worst. She may have improved slightly in recent years.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

" hideous Hadley Freeman " ? Not having that. Herself and Marina Hyde ( and possibly Stuart Jeffries ) are the last remaining half- decent writers on The Guardian.

[Funcrusher]

There are no remaining half decent writers at The Guardian. Certainly not those three.

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

" hideous Hadley Freeman " ? Not having that. Herself and Marina Hyde ( and possibly Stuart Jeffries ) are the last remaining half- decent writers on The Guardian.

That Freeman quote from Ambient Sheep's post above is an absolutely atrocious piece of writing. No clarity, flow or rhythm, it's incoherent.

Hyde is an excellent writer, she's very funny and sharp. Great turn of phrase. Unlike most journalists who write about celebrity culture with a waspish sideways glance, she comes across as someone who genuinely despairs of the stupidity and hypocrisy of these people. There's never an arse-saving "Oh but we love them really!" caveat at the end of her articles.

Marina Hyde: one of the last remaining good ones.

[Uncle TechTip]

Thank you, I was about to say if anyone tears a strip off Marina Hyde, I would post furiously about it.

[Bronzy]

His sister is a Tory MP.

What a shock.

[Funcrusher]

Marina Hyde is the daughter of Sir Alastair Edgcumbe James Dudley-Williams, 2nd Baronet of Exeter.

[kngen]

^{_{please don't be the sub (if any) concerned kngen please don't be the sub (if any) concerned kngen please don't be the sub (if any) concerned kngen please don't be the sub (if any) concerned kngen}}

Ha! No chance that would have got past me - in fact, given the date, it would have been in the Film & Music section of g2, so the sleepy coterie of g2 subs would have waved that through, while having an attack of the vapours from being asked to do some work.

(The rolling in of F&M into g2 still pisses me off. I used to get to design and chief sub a whole 20-page section, then for some horse-trading that's too dull to detail, g2 got their hands on it, and we were left fiddling about with classical CD reviews like we were fucking interns. Put in for redundancy not long after that.)

His sister is a Tory MP.

What a shock.

For similar shocks, check the family trees of former political editor Patrick Wintour and head of culture and digital media Caspar LLewellyn Smith. The latter, at least, is a decent journalist and person who I owe more than a couple of favours too, but it was an open secret on our desk that he triumphed over a far more qualified candidate for the music editor position due to his familial connections. The Guardian has quite an astounding track record for rewarding the unearned and squandering loyalty and goodwill that would be quite dismaying to those that still buy into the whole 'Cult of Graun' thing.

The most blatant 'out of their depth other than knowing how to kiss arse to quite an extraordinary degree' award goes to Paul MacInnes, however. He only ever got in the door because he was married to Laura Barton, but after floating around the building doing mostly awful work, he found a niche as a squier to the Head of Culture at the time, George Hendry. It was quite a sight to see him literally trotting behind her, trying to keep up while cooing unquestioning encouragement to her ideas as she strode around King's Place. It's rather tragic that, after a towering career in journalism, George's last act before she succumbed to cancer was to appoint MacInnes as editor of The Guide. The immediate plummet in quality was astounding, and resignations and transfers to other departments were swiftly submitted. What a legacy!

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Marina Hyde used to fuck Piers Morgan. Yet she is forgiven .* that's* How good a writer she is.

[holyzombiejesus]

I quite like Simon Hattenstone's interviews. Alexis Petridis seems like an ok sort. Fuck knows why they employ the same  Mancunian writers - Tony Naylor, Luke Bainbridge (how many articles can one man write about I Am Kloot?) - that City Life used to such atrocious affect but at least they don't harbour Laura Barton any more.

[kngen]

I quite like Simon Hattenstone's interviews.

Great interviewer, has that shamelessness that can really winkle out details that celebs would otherwise keep under wraps. Getting Woody Harrelson to finally speak about his dad being the prime example. His copy was always a dog's dinner though. Fuck me, it could be hard work.

Alexis Petridis seems like an ok sort.

Really, really nice bloke, and of the few writers that could still make me laugh even after years of late filings and ballooning word counts. Claims his word processing software doesn't have a word count facility. *shakes head slowly*

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

I quite like the ruggedly handsome Tim Dowling too, but given that his main job is to write about himself and his family for the " Weekend " magazine, he can produce some fucking boring columns occasionally. Last Saturday 's column  was about him going to the shop twice in one day, and was not the most enthralling thing I've ever read. He should sell his fucking car and get a decent new one too, it's given him nothing but fucking grief.

[Cuellar]

I quite like the ruggedly handsome Tim Dowling too, but given that his main job is to write about himself and his family for the " Weekend " magazine, he can produce some fucking boring columns occasionally. Last Saturday 's column  was about him going to the shop twice in one day, and was not the most enthralling thing I've ever read. He should sell his fucking car and get a decent new one too, it's given him nothing but fucking grief.

I remember reading his 'column' one day and suddenly coming to my senses: "What is this pointless shit?" I think it was the day I stopped reading the Guardian.

Just utterly inane rich cunts problems. "Wives eh! Kids eh!"

It made me quite angry. How is there any justice in the world when this rotting hulk of a personality can write mind numbing updates on his boring life and get paid handsomely for it? Reading it is like spending time with my sister-in-law's family.

[poodlefaker]

Yeh, Dowling is awful, as is Zoe Williams, same sort of "I'm bonkers, me" bollocks as Wollaston. Marina Hyde comes of as sneering to me, but I quite like Hadley Freeman on a Saturday.

[mothman]

Hadley Freeman went to Oxford. Just saying.

[Funcrusher]

Hadley Freeman went to Oxford. Just saying.

They all went to Oxford. Apart from the ones who went to Cambridge. For an organ that preaches endlessly about privilege and diversity, they're about as undiverse as it gets.

[The Boston Crab]

I went to Oxford and I'm working class scum.

[Funcrusher]

Hadley Freeman is not working class scum.

[holyzombiejesus]

Can't stand Hadley Freeman; I've often suspected that it is she who does that foul fashion barometer in the Saturday magazine. She's also consistently dissed Corbz. At least Zoe Williams is actually a socialist. I would dearly love to never touch the thing again but it's become such an ingrained part of my weekend that I'd really miss the one or two bits that aren't loathsome. I love Felicity Cloake, Daniel Taylor was quite interesting if you like football and the literature reviews can be quite good. In fact, The Guardian/ Observer are how I find out about the majority of books that I buy. They also had weekly new Chris Ware. I've not even opened that TV guide magazine in several years though.

[Cuellar]

I'm only in it for the crosswords.