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The Apprentice 2018

Started by Malcy, September 17, 2018, 04:24:40 PM

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The bit where the team brainstormed what the character should look like was straight out of the Poochie the Dog episode of The Simpsons. Add sunglasses! Rastify him by 10%!

Blue Jam

Why are so many of the candidates dressed like Donald Trump?

I like the fact that the actor one looks like Stephen Toast.

Utter Shit

This week's episode was fantastic. So many absolutely mad decisions. That chilli sauce stuff was just bonkers, they literally tasted it themselves and couldn't eat it...then send it to the buyers unchanged. Mad mad mad.

im barry bethel

Developing a hard soft spot for the blonde that sometimes does sometimes doesn't wear glasses

Emma Raducanu

People in London were paying £5 for a doughnut? Up here, you'd get change from a meal for four plus drinks and a tip for that.

QDRPHNC

I'm always saying they get thicker every year, and I'm always right.

EOLAN

Quote from: im barry bethel on October 18, 2018, 11:20:43 PM
Developing a hard soft spot for the blonde that sometimes does sometimes doesn't wear glasses

Oh yes, the one who was trying to highlight issues at the start; was being talked over and dismissed and when she raised them again everyone said - why didn't you tell us that before. Well when I say everyone; the guy sitting on one side of her.

Am loving that the not at all successful actor guy is abominable at anything which you think his even most basic acting training would cover. Him just very slowly and boringly swaying his head for the character animation was hilarious. Missed the first episode and there has been some allusions; but I trust he is just a background extra rather than a trained actor.

Utter Shit

Quote from: EOLAN on October 19, 2018, 09:31:27 AM
Oh yes, the one who was trying to highlight issues at the start; was being talked over and dismissed and when she raised them again everyone said - why didn't you tell us that before. Well when I say everyone; the guy sitting on one side of her.

The annoying thing is, regardless of how clearly in the right she is on every issue, it will still be framed as her being too weak, too unauthoritative to force her correct POV on the group...and the reality (even if we accept that this show has no basis on the real business world at all) is that in real life that would probably be a good reason not to hire/promote/generally value someone; I imagine the business world has plenty of capable, potentially even brilliant people who get talked over by less competent but more confident and aggressive people.

The number of people who look like potential winners this year has been whittled away so quickly. I had the young lad who captained the losing side (Tom?) as having all the tools needed to go far - confident without being arrogant, authoritative without being aggressive, calm when everyone else is going mad - but he seemed completely indifferent to the pitches going badly and didn't push for bigger sales at all. Granted he probably agreed with the buyers because the doughnuts were shit, but you still expect a bit of a push.

At the moment it feels like the only potential winners are the handful of contestants who haven't had enough screentime to make dicks of themselves yet. Daniel, Rick and Sarah in particular, none of them have done anything of note positive or negative, which puts them at the head of the pack because all of the rest of them look like dimwits.

kngen

Quote from: EOLAN on October 19, 2018, 09:31:27 AM
Am loving that the not at all successful actor guy is abominable at anything which you think his even most basic acting training would cover. Him just very slowly and boringly swaying his head for the character animation was hilarious. Missed the first episode and there has been some allusions; but I trust he is just a background extra rather than a trained actor.

Then you missed a delightful moment with him:

He said he wanted to be the first actor of Indian descent to win a Best Actor Oscar (which, in a welcome moment of subtlety on the part of The Apprentice producers, was left hanging, allowing the audience to go: 'Hang abaaht, is Ben Kingsley (born Krishna Pandit Bhanji) not Indian enough for you then, geez?'

If nothing else, I'll enjoy watching him come to the slow realisation that he's absolutely fucking shit at everything other than sitting with a really weird, upright posture, and he should fall to his knees and thank the gods he has a trust fund lest he starve to death through his own stupidity. That's only if he has an ounce of self-awareness, which I'm expecting the fear, clearly evident in his eyes as his mouth goes dry during another pitching cock-up - to kick start at some point.

Crisps?

Interesting that the chirpy naive-acting blonde with the big blue eyes and whiny little girl voice is so popular with some people, drooling over how she's absolutely right about absolutely everything absolutely all the time, with the not at all cynical low-effort ploy of getting on record her criticism of what other people are doing while offering nothing better herself.

Meanwhile the determined, no-nonsense woman who (easily) won her task, by having a good concept and controlling a band of typically unruly idiots who'd otherwise be undermining her and wasting time "brainstorming" 100 different useless ideas, is "aggressive" and even compared to Adolf Hitler by a determined, no-nonsense man who I didn't realise operated Amstrad as a workers' collective.


EOLAN

The little blonde tennis coach definitely doesn't deserve to win on performance. Her management of task was fairly poor apart from securing the top product, yet they couldn't shift any. Went on stage without a plan to promote their products and state where they can be found. Just had enough worthless people on her team to keep her in.

Think I starting to like Kurran too. Is starting to display his vulnerability and pretty much admitting he is out of his depth.

Alberon

Just watched the latest one. It's a shame Sugar fired Morrissey, The Consumer Monkey, but we had him marked down to be fired just twenty minutes into the episode.

The whole thing is too much by the numbers now to be enjoyable. Even Sugar's laboured delivery of a really bad joke failed to be amusing. Plus they're ramping up the 'amusing' reactions of Claude and Karrren which seems to be a clear sign the end is near.

QDRPHNC

So far Kayode seems like the only one with a shred of gumption.

hummingofevil

Daniel is just awful. How do people work with these types?

Malcy

Never noticed the MGM logo at the end of the credits before. I can't wait for that yank/Canadian/whothefuckknows to fuck up and have that smug look wiped off her face.

The Roofdog

Laughed my absolute tits off at useless bastard Rick thinking he'd got away with it two weeks in a row and then being brought back in by Sugar. A really weird mistake by Jackie, that.

QDRPHNC

Glad to see the back of Rick, insufferable useless person. Mind you, there's quite a few of those to choose from.

Highlight for me was the woman introducing her shoe as "vibing one point uheh"

Blue Jam

Surely Stephen Toast is going home this week with Legend Gary Air?

Custard

Genuinely great episode this week. Was in hysterics throughout

JETPOP

Crisps?

Yeah, plenty of insane decisions and ideas - Straw Pedo Air, was it? - and I guess the businessman in the Manage-Air ad was flying "PopJet" initially.

I thought Daniel's idea of passengers boarding a plane depicted as a party on a Mediterranean beach sounded great, so it's a pity budget realities turned it into sitting in a deckchair in Southend.

I was also glad and impressed that Camilla and Jackie stood by their outfit to the end, because despite everyone else weirdly going full Taliban and acting like it was a something from porn peddler Karren Brady's Sunday Sport, it looked good, was not just a boring replica of other airlines and was completely appropriate for their party concept.

Alberon

Well it was a crap outfit, but better than the 80s sofa the other team came up with.

The Roofdog

The backlash towards Highway To Hell from Sugar and his cronies was a load of shite. It was obvious what they were trying to do with that, adverts do it all the time, it was just a badly edited ad.

Pangaea actually would have been a clever name for an airline.

EOLAN

Another safe extremely plagiarised choice vs extremely risque out of the box and more original. To be honest the Jet Pop outfit was probably a bit too far. Also, I know there were issues with the name Jet Pop for explosive reasons, but also for a party airline it would suggest that there was only non alcoholic fizzy drinks on board. Safe vs business was likely to be the case with choices of Party and Business type airlines. Not sure if other options on table like family.

Kayode seems to be very underwhelming as well. Especially whenever challenged on any point will totally sell the product down the river, if the brief clips are of course truly representative.

My favorite moment was a brief second where I believe Khadija was doing a ' We're so good at television' seated dance at the end of a brainstorming session.

im barry bethel

Quote from: EOLAN on November 09, 2018, 08:18:34 AM
To be honest the Jet Pop outfit was probably a bit too far.

and as for the male version

Utter Shit

This has been a cracker of a series so far. At times it annoys me because every episode is exactly the same, with the winning team simply being slightly less shit than the losing team (when was the last time we had an episode where the winning team actually did well, let alone both teams?)...but the contestants are so entertaining.

-Tom seems uninterested in the entire process to the extent that you get the feeling he could just wander off during one of the tasks and never come back.
-Kayode is just a general grinning dimwit who could be replaced with one of those arms-open model men designed to entice you into a butchers without anyone realising.
-Sabrina seems to be the only competent one there, but is such a soggy towel of a human being she'll get bullied out at some point and no one will even feel bad for her.
-Kurran is so detached from the entire process that he's almost unknowable; when he stares off into the distance in the boardroom I can never tell whether he's presenting himself as casually superior or is just so thick he can't speak and focus his gaze at the same time.
-Daniel is such a div I can only picture him with his mouth open, even though I don't think he actually does have his mouth open very often. It just seems right in my head that he's the sort of person who always has his mouth open.
-Jackie is superficially intelligent, efficient and confident, but her entire business career must be composed of meetings that last no longer than three minutes, because she's never far from coming up with an idea that is just completely, blatantly obviously insane. "Hey guys, why don't we name our airline after an explosion then dress like strippers".
-Jasmine could star in her own badly-produced advert promoting the concept of entitlement.
-Khadija is clearly an aggressive lunatic and yet is still my favourite one simply because she seems the most likely of the bunch to eventually snap and batter the rest of them.
-Sian is so dull the only interesting thing I have noticed about her is that she looks like a mixed-race version of Vicky Pattison.
-Camilla could potentially win by continuing to do and say nothing of interest, cleverly realising that quietly being a 5/10 every week is probably going to be enough to win given the competition.

Love it.

im barry bethel

Freddie Laker started Laker Air
Nikki Lauda started Lauda Air
Tony Ryan started Ryan Air

Why didn't Sabrina show a little hubris and call it Sabrin Air

Hello Jasmine can I live in your Angus

im barry bethel

Decided that Khadija has a lovely bum in tight strides

Utter Shit

Nowhere near as good now Kurran has gone. Loved that woman who broke tradition and was openly, aggressively unhappy with the work they did. "You've basically just pushed the dirt around a bit, to be honest I just want you gone from my shop" - superb.

Oh also Kayode's doughnuts line was good.