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Items of clothing that no one has ever worn with style or panache

Started by Nice Relaxing Poo, September 19, 2018, 04:11:34 PM

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Net shirts, specifically men in net shirts



Velour tracksuit, instant white trash even if you're a model




Shit stopper jogging bottoms/shell suits etc




gilbertharding

Re Mesh Shirts - beg to differ. As a teenager in the 80s I was in the air cadets. During the summer we used to go on camp to RAF bases, where in the Other Ranks Mess we would often see the airfield fire crew whose working uniforms consisted of string mesh shirts and woollen trousers. I presume there was a woollen coat to wear when actually fighting fires.

We all viewed these people in awe. And yes, probably in a gay way.

Exactly the same string shirts were worn by the Submarine crew in Gerry Anderson's UFO.

gilbertharding


Shit Good Nose

Global Hypercolor.  Which I see is making a comeback, and has been changed to Global Hypercolour.

Norton Canes


Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Shit Good Nose on September 19, 2018, 04:34:34 PM
Global Hypercolor.  Which I see is making a comeback, and has been changed to Global Hypercolour.

They'd bring back Fat Willies but toxic masculinity.

paruses

Quote from: Nice Relaxing Poo on September 19, 2018, 04:11:34 PM

Velour tracksuit, instant white trash even if you're a model




I am going to gingerly say that I find velour tracksuits very sexy. I have no idea why as I generally despise leisure-wear

I will offer those frock coats that office women wore in the early 2000s. Awful.

[Edit to say not just on this model but even on us scum ]

kalowski

Quote from: bgmnts on September 19, 2018, 04:14:29 PM
Dungarees.

Crocs.
Not dungarees. I have a thing about very sexy women wearing nothing but a pair of dungarees.



Not painter's dungarees, I must add.

shiftwork2


olliebean

Re "Net Shirts" or "Mesh Shirts" or whatever, please call them by their proper name: String Vests.

Quote from: Nice Relaxing Poo on September 19, 2018, 04:11:34 PM
Net shirts, specifically men in net shirts
Shit stopper jogging bottoms/shell suits etc

Back when shell suits were a new and exciting thing, I remember seeing a proper Volvo-driving moustachioed middle-aged man rocking a particularly garish one whilst smoking his pipe.  That had a proper couldn't-care-less panache about it.  One foot in the past and one in the future.  The pipe spoke of rusticity and tradition, the old ways, a slower pace of life. The shell suit spoke of an open-ness to the future and new ideas, foreshadowing the age of relentless attention-seeking and instant gratification.

Either that or he just wore whatever his wife bought for him.

Lemming

Quote from: Nice Relaxing Poo on September 19, 2018, 04:11:34 PM
Net shirts, specifically men in net shirts

Wrong, Siouxsie:


I was sure there was a picture of Marc Almond circa 1980 in a net-vest-thing too, but it doesn't seem to exist outside my mind, and so the point about no man ever looking cool in a net vest cannot be challenged... for now.



Jumblegraws

This is probably a very personal one, but those puffy cap-beret hybrids always look shit to me:


I think it's the clash of their intended stylishness versus the way they remind me of Wacky Races-era Dick Dasterdly

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Jumblegraws on September 19, 2018, 06:22:17 PM
This is probably a very personal one, but those puffy cap-beret hybrids always look shit to me:


I think it's the clash of their intended stylishness versus the way they remind me of Wacky Races-era Dick Dasterdly


Yeah but to be fair berets are a cunt's hat as well.

Icehaven


Brundle-Fly

Purely, my personal bête noires. One style I have sported myself.












Icehaven


Sebastian Cobb

Those buff pieces of material that make you look an arsehole in any number of different combinations.

Quote from: Lemming on September 19, 2018, 05:41:37 PM
I was sure there was a picture of Marc Almond circa 1980 in a net-vest-thing too, but it doesn't seem to exist outside my mind, and so the point about no man ever looking cool in a net vest cannot be challenged... for now.

Tracey Pew out of t'Birthday Party?


Jockice


Small Man Big Horse

Quote from: Brundle-Fly on September 19, 2018, 06:34:06 PM

Heh, I remember about twenty years ago every one of those tacky tourist shops on Oxford Street would have them in stock, and did for a fair old while. Never saw anyone actually wearing one though.

Blue Jam

Ugg boots. Crocs at least look cute on children. A child wearing Ugg boots just sends out the message "my parents have more money than good taste".

im barry bethel

Every gran knows you can wear virtually anything with panache



Stoneage Dinosaurs

Three quarter length trousers. Smacks of indecision and a chain-Redditing habit.

Bow-ties, and that goes double for young people, even Matt Smith at the apex of 11th Doctor hype.

And finally, the atrocious bum-bag/fanny pack.
On a side note, i've never understood the transatlantic variation on the name of this thing - surely it shold be the other way round? Brits should call it a fanny-pack because it goes over the British fanny, and Americans should call it a bum bag because, like the archetypal 'bum' or vagrant, it is both undignified and tragic.