Items of clothing that no one has ever worn with style or panache

[Jockice]

Trilbies. Admittedly they can look cool on mature men but the likes of Pete Doherty or The Kooks wearing them makes me want to scream.

[Howj Begg]

https://www.topman.com/?geoip=home

[Clatty McCutcheon]

Those frilly shirts favoured by the nicotine-stained sleazemeisters of the 1970s comedy scene- not even when paired with an outsized bow-tie.

[Buelligan]

https://www.topman.com/?geoip=home

All those men look as if they're remembering a poo they did in your mum's airing cupboard.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Blazer and jeans is a dangerous game. Steve McQueen could pull it off alright, but most people end up looking like a top gear presenter. And worse still are the ones who wear that with a tshirt. They need graving.

[a duncandisorderly]

Tracey Pew out of t'Birthday Party?

ah, tracey pew. cool as. saw them in brixton in late 1982, & thank fuck.

this very gig:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=at4sG8YWcO8

also this- I post this on FB every few weeks.
there are instructions that if I ever stop posting it (this & roxy music with john wetton, & EBN's 'comply', couple of other things) then I am to be euthanised.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CgNymWt5_I

[Psmith]

just about everything from the seventies.

[nero]

Those Palestinian scarf things. Unless you're Palestinian.

Oh no! I have one of those. But I wear mine because I am anti the jews. I also have a refined, tasteful and dignified aura because I'm anti the Australians.

[Spoon of Ploff]

Unless you appear in one of those really old photographs (and are therefore long dead) this kind of head gear is just an additional visual confirmation that you are entirely beyond the pale.








_{I make no exceptions for goth bands or glam rockers}

[bgmnts]

Unless you appear in one of those really old photographs (and are therefore long dead) this kind of head gear is just an additional visual confirmation that you are entirely beyond the pale.








_{I make no exceptions for goth bands or glam rockers}

Look at the absolute fucking state of that cunt.

[Spoon of Ploff]

Look at the absolute fucking state of that cunt.

Yes. but have you noticed that stupid hat he's wearing?

[bgmnts]

Yes. but have you noticed that stupid hat he's wearing?

Surely though seriously even the toffiest of toff cunts must look at that and think "fuck me you inbred hapsburg jaw cunt".

[Icehaven]

Good booze smuggling hat though. You could easily get one of those bags of wine under there and red would be just about OK at head temperature.

[Dr Rock]

Those clothes that Manchester-type bands wear/wore, such as Oasis, Happy Mondays, Charlatans*..



What Liam is wearing there. Ffs. Then you find out it cost £600 rather from coming from down the market.

_{*not a Manchester band, I know. But they dressed like one.}

[Icehaven]

....Charlatans*..



_{*not a Manchester band, I know.}

Wait what?? *Googles* They're from Birmingham, well that's my musical hat-fucking sorted for today.

[Jockice]

Those clothes that Manchester-type bands wear/wore, such as Oasis, Happy Mondays, Charlatans*..



What Liam is wearing there. Ffs. Then you find out it cost £600 rather from coming from down the market.

_{*not a Manchester band, I know. But they dressed like one.}

I put the word 'trilby' into Google on my phone last night. The first one that came up was six grand. The second was 19.99. They looked identical to me.

[Brian Freeze]

Speaking of Madchester. I rode past someone the other day and very nearly started a thread on here about Joe Bloggs making a comeback.

[Blue Jam]

Those frilly shirts favoured by the nicotine-stained sleazemeisters of the 1970s comedy scene- not even when paired with an outsized bow-tie.

Nope:

[bgmnts]

Yeah nah he looks like a bit of a tit wearing that.

[Icehaven]

Nope:

Also;

[Sebastian Cobb]

Speaking of Madchester. I rode past someone the other day and very nearly started a thread on here about Joe Bloggs making a comeback.

The other weekend I saw several young people cutting about that looked like they'd come straight from a levellers gig.

[Icehaven]

There's two models in that Topman link above that are basically Evan Dando and Mani circa the mid 90s.

[Janie Jones]

.

... the atrocious bum-bag/fanny pack.

You're going to be noticing a lot more of these. They are back.

Attila and I have bemoaned on these boards the horror of the 'cold shoulder' top, the fashion for sleeves with cut-outs or slits in them, exposing the upper arms. Due to the 'Lincolnshire effect' of fashion half-life with the provinces hanging on to trends that the cities have moved on from, these style atrocities are still very visible on our high streets.

[Blue Jam]

Attila and I have bemoaned on these boards the horror of the 'cold shoulder' top, the fashion for sleeves with cut-outs or slits in them, exposing the upper arms.

I think Brian Molko pulled it off:



Otherwise... yes, it's one of those really ugly fashion trends that refuses to die and keeps popping back up every few years, like pussy-blow blouses (which look frowsy on anyone) and midi skirts (an unflattering length even on models).

Cold-shoulder tops just make a woman's arms look chubby. They're even worse than cap sleeves, which end at the thickest part of the arm and make it look like a steamed ham, and even on very slim, toned women they look a bit little girl-ish.

If I'm buying a t-shirt and have the choice of a men's or ladies' version, I'll go for the men's one every time. Cap sleeves just make me feel exposed.

[holyzombiejesus]

Those t-shirts that the soft-goth bands' followers used to wear. The sleeves may have been shredded and tied in to tassels or even removed and then the shirt ripped from armpit to half way down the side.

And, obviously, socks'n'sandals.

[Neville Chamberlain]

My wife wears cold-shoulder tops pretty much all the time and I reckon she looks pretty damned good in them. I had no idea it was such a fashion no-no :-(

[Icehaven]

All this talk of returning trends is reminding me of the brief moment when the atrocity of wearing jeans under a skirt was somehow deemed acceptable (although tbf the one on the right could just about pass as a long top.)  It looks like you were just trying one of them on and forgot halfway through.



(There are plenty of more egregious examples when you GIS but mostly from what appear to be individual's social media accounts so it'd feel a bit wrong posting them here.)

[Neville Chamberlain]

My wife does that a lot, too :-(

Should I just divorce her now?

[Icehaven]

My wife does that a lot, too :-(

Should I just divorce her now?

Fair play if she can pull them off (fnar), in fact I think they're both specifically designed to only look good on the kind of people who'd still look good wearing a potato sack so well done you.

[popcorn]

Remember ten years ago when loads of nerds wore these?



I knew a couple of nerds who otherwise never put a moment's thought into their wardrobe, yet for some reason ended up with a pair of these, which can't have been an accident, so what happened? What was it about these awful bondage trousers that penetrated their shield of garment indifference? Perhaps they're like Venom from Spider-Man - they're symbiotic and nerds made easy hosts. Or maybe they really did make the nerds think they were in a nightclub scene from The Matrix.