Strictly Come Dancing

[machotrouts]

R.I.P. Sea. Now you can sit wanking and blubbing alone at home like us x

I know it's an autopilot spiel that isn't worth analysing, but who was Shirley trying to fool with the "ooh it's such an unpredictable year, anything could happen, absolute fuckloads of shocks in this series" shit? Literally the person with the lowest judges' score has gone every week. This is the most unshocking set of Strictly results I can remember. She was going on about how "open" the competition is, as well, like there isn't still a substantial buffer of bottom-of-the-leaderboard hoggers who are basically just competing to get to Blackpool then fuck off. There's not been a big enough disparity in the opinions of judges and voters for shock results so far. Dr Ranj is probably just scraping through on my votes alone, isn't he?



Still would. Even in blueface.

I don't think the Doctor Who dance was as good as they said it was

It's nice to see some fleeting gender non-conformity in the dance roles, though I could've done without the judges going on about Stacey's "man part" and "man frame". Could just say "lead", like. The man I fancy at my tango classes – I mentioned him a few posts ago, just trying to get a running plot going in this thread – did an angry woke tweet about it. After all, we dance together and we both have man parts.

IS IT WEIRD THAT I KIND OF FANCY CRAIG REVEL HORWOOD

Almost entirely yes, but to his credit, my mum wouldn't stop remarking on how good his Halloween make-up and hair was. "He looks good! Like, he looks actually good! Doesn't he look good, Tom? He should come like that every week."

Oh fucking hell you're not my mum are you.

[gilbertharding]

Reports in the tabloids that Seannn angrily said a word beginning with B (I didn't count the asterisks which tabloids habitually insert to protect their readers) after the show on Sunday (Saturday). Amazing scenes.

[kalowski]

Reports in the tabloids that Seannn angrily said a word beginning with B (I didn't count the asterisks which tabloids habitually insert to protect their readers) after the show on Sunday (Saturday). Amazing scenes.

Beann?

[studpuppet]

Katie Piper got eliminated from Strictly the same day the acid lobbing man got released from prison. The circle of justice. Of course, she's the real winner – we all know and like her, and he'll struggle to even get on Dancing on Ice.

He might get a berth on 'Splash!' though, if that ever gets another series. http://instantrimshot.com/index.php?sound=rimshot&play=true

[Rolf Lundgren]

Almost entirely yes, but to his credit, my mum wouldn't stop remarking on how good his Halloween make-up and hair was. "He looks good! Like, he looks actually good! Doesn't he look good, Tom? He should come like that every week."

Laughing out loud at the thought of everyone being in their smartest clothes for the final and Craig sitting there dressed as a vampire.

[machotrouts]

Excellent shaping from Joe Sugg in that paso doble:

[Soup]

Can't wait for next week's remembrance day theme. A Hun and a noble Tommy dance a lindy hop round a christmas football. A shell salsas with a crater. Two enormous poppies blow the judges away with a lively foxtrot.

[machotrouts]

Danny avoiding the dance-off is the first proper shock of the series, I think? Bottom of the leaderboard has gone every week until now, and he's the one to break that trend? I figured he was about due to end up in a "shock" dance-off after a passable mid-table routine, but then he goes and proper bollockses up a quickstep, and gets saved for it? Would never have guessed he'd have a fanbase to swoop to his rescue, especially as he stood a good chance of improving his dance enough to survive anyway. Maybe this was the first of his 9 lives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like cats have.

Poor Dr Ranj. To be fair, even I was wearing a bit of his permanent CBeebies gawp, constantly feigning excitement and gormless awe about everything, gazing slack-jawed at fireworks like an infant he's lobotomised. Turn it off sometimes Ranj. He's 39 years old and I feel like a bit of a paedophile for fancying him. I want to child molest a 39-year-old man.

Anyway, here's a nice Dr Ranj coda – I image-searched him and discovered he'd taken part in a celebrity underpants photoshoot for Loose Women.



I'm sorry if this isn't a very body-positive thing to say but Judge Rinder is fucking terrifying. A charmingly effete cosy daytime TV figure who is just a disrobe away from looking like he snaps necks for meth.

[gilbertharding]

Is it wrong of me to say I really like Stacey Dooley? And yes - in that way too, a bit.

She seems really fun. And yes, in that way too, a bit.

I've no idea what she does apart from be on Strictly Come Dancing and laugh at herself, but the other week, immediately after her dance, and before the judges weigh in, she told Tess that 'you look really nice' and it just made me laugh.

There seem to be too many good dancers this year. I've no investment in them. The youtube streak of piss I couldn't give a shit about, and there's the Pussycat Dolls and S Club 7 women... don't care. Mentally switch off when they're on - there's no jeopardy or drama, just competence.

Not that I want incompetence, or lOl cHaRaCtErS!!! either. They also got rid of all those (along with the wankers) early doors this year - apart from fucking Swanny who fits into both categories, but who isn't actually as bad as I feared.

[bgmnts]

Apparently you shouldn't be breathing when you're dancing.

Oh someone's relative died. Lets all cry together.

[bgmnts]

What the absolute fuck was that Crunchies gag?

3 4 4 2 Total: shit

[bgmnts]

Graeme cricket man is a very lucket cricket man.

[bgmnts]

It seems they do these odd concept dances now.

I want someone to have a bit of edge and do a Columbine Massacre dance.

[Clownbaby]

What the absolute fuck was that Crunchies gag?

3 4 4 2 Total: shit

That caught with me off guard with its inexplicableness and I actually laughed

[Clownbaby]

After reading about Danny John Jules apparently being a right grumpy cunt in rehearsals I kept scanning for moments where Amy flinches away from him or looks uncomfortable.

[kalowski]

I don't like the shouting down and booing of Craig's comments. The Strictly crowd like the echo chamber, it seems.

[olliebean]

Wrong decision tonight, I thought. That salsa was horrible.

[Norton Canes]

That salsa was the worst Strictly routine ever.

[MuteBanana]

Is it wrong of me to say I really like Stacey Dooley? And yes - in that way too, a bit.

She seems really fun. And yes, in that way too, a bit.

I've no idea what she does apart from be on Strictly Come Dancing

She's a bonny lass. She's like a female Ross Kemp making documentaries about issues. Shes brave. She gets right in there. Shes suffered abuse for her work. She was on BBC Three alot but that channel is now only online.

She's an impressive woman and definitely deserves more mainstream work.

[BlodwynPig]

She's a bonny lass. She's like a female Ross Kemp making documentaries about issues. Shes brave. She gets right in there. Shes suffered abuse for her work. She was on BBC Three alot but that channel is now only online.

She's an impressive woman and definitely deserves more mainstream work.

Yeh, she's decent despite the "framing" of her work.

[MuteBanana]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2XzvBXoNF4

Stacey Dooley - Beaten By My Boyfriend.

[Clownbaby]

I don't like the shouting down and booing of Craig's comments. The Strictly crowd like the echo chamber, it seems.

It always annoys me. And the whole thing of him being "Mr Nasty". He isn't even nasty.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

It always annoys me. And the whole thing of him being "Mr Nasty". He isn't even nasty.

This was one of the main reasons I started this thread (see OP). Feller's just doing his job.

[AsparagusTrevor]

He often marks one lower than everyone else, and he sometimes lets out an unnecessarily nasty comment, stuff like "You dance like a giraffe runs" or "you remind me of a broken swan" but he seems to have cut back on that recently. Other than that his criticism is usually fair and it's probably very irritating to him having to raise his voice over pantomime booing every time he gives an opinion that isn't full-on praise.

[BlodwynPig]

Pantomime isn't it?

[mothman]

... oh, no it isn't..?

[BlodwynPig]

...you're right, just sewage.

[machotrouts]

I'm sure Craig Revel Horwood is gutted that he's unfairly perceived as some kind of pantomime villain.



Danny the Red Dwarf cat man has, uhhh what's a way to make "been eliminated" into a cat pun, been hit by a car and euthanised or something, after two consecutive weeks at the bottom of the leaderboard, and four weeks after he was top of the leaderboard (I believe the week in between is when Shirley Ballas called him "Mr Consistent"). He seemed to dance everything in the same slick pointy T-1000 style, but he seemed like a plausible finalist in a mediocre series, so it's a minor pity. I know Joe Sugg's going to end up in the final, but I don't want him to deserve it. I want to be furious about him taking the place of someone actually good. Come final week, I can't very well sit there going "but what about that cunt nobody liked who came 9th after being shit for two weeks?".

Danny was mired in another tabloid scandal of some sort, I think, something to do with him and his partner Amy, like a bullying scandal or something, I think he set her on fire maybe? Locked her in a freezer and shouted at the freezer to make her cry little snowflakes? Chopped off one of her arms and mailed it to Dan Wootton? I don't know, I'm not looking into it, though I felt sorry enough for her being partnered with Gropey Brian Conley last year so I hope she's alright. Give her someone nice next year, please, like Barry Chuckle or something, he's racist but dead.

[Clownbaby]

Come to think of it Craig's been coasting lately. Doesn't throw half as much shade as he used to. Makes the pantomime booing redundant whe he's just being constructive

[Norton Canes]

Danny the Red Dwarf cat man has, uhhh what's a way to make "been eliminated" into a cat pun

Sacked?