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March 28, 2024, 10:44:14 PM

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Clarkson's Wanking Anthems

Started by Lemming, September 23, 2018, 05:36:09 PM

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Lemming

Do you guys remember that "Top Gear Driving Anthems" shit they used to give away with whatever right-wing tabloids? Check this out, just saw an ad:

QuoteCLARKSON'S WANKING ANTHEMS

Super-charge YOUR wanking sessions with these hand-picked tracks from Clarkson's own wanking playlist!

Remember any of these unforgettable wanking hooks?

"Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh yeah
It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough,
You know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to cock
Might as well face it, you're addicted to cock
Might as well face it, you're addicted to cock"

ROBERT PALMER - ADDICTED TO COCK

"Jeremy wanked in class today
Jeremy wanked in class today
Clearly I remember
Wankin' on the boy"

PEARL JAM - JEREWANK

"'Cause I'm a wanker
I'm a spanker
I'm a cranker
And I'm a jizzer
I play my music and I cum
I'm a jerker
I'm a joker
I'm a mid-night stroker
I get my wankin' on the run
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh"

STEVE MILLER BAND - THE JERKER

"No language, just sound, that's all we need know, to synchronise
Love to the beat of the show
And we could WAAAAANK
WANK, WANK, WANK, WANK, WANK TO THE RADIO"

JOY DIVISION - EMISSION

And Clarkson's even included some slower, gentler numbers for that post-wank wind-down!

"So let's wank the last wank
Let's wank the last wank
Let's wank the last wank
Let's wank the last wank tonight"

DONNA SUMMER - LAST WANK

Including other hits such as "House of the Rising Cock", "More Than A-Wanking", "Long Train Wankin'", "Wankers on the Storm" and many more!

Free TODAY with every copy of The Express!

I dunno, guys. I don't want to fund the Express, and I hate Clarkson as much as anyone else here does, but there are some good tracks on there and it'd be nice to have them all on one CD.

The ad also mentioned Clarkson's Brexit Anthems, Clarkson's Shitting Anthems and Clarkson's Having A Nervous Breakdown In Tesco At 4 In The Morning And Buying 50 Jars Of Nutella Anthems too, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't wanting to get my hands on them too.

Sebastian Cobb

This is basically radio x or whatever they're calling xfm these days.

non capisco

Bon Jovi - Wanking On A Prayer
Wohhh, I'm halfway there
Wohhh-ohhh, wanking on a prayer!
Wank my cock, I'm naked I swear!
Wohhh-ohhhh, wanking on a prayer!

Survivor - The Eye Of The Wanker
Wanking off, into the street
Take my time, take my chances
It went the distance, landed on someone's feet
Just a man and his willy that writhed

It's the eye of the wanker, it's the thrill of the wank
Risin' up then I chucked it out the window
And the bloke on the corner felt the rain in the night
And it's all arcing out from the eyyyyyyyyye
The eye of the wanker

HALL AND OATES
Oh-oh, here it comes
Watch out boys, I'm spunking up
Oh-oh, here it comes
It's a crowdpleaser

Is this the sort of thing you're after?