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What do women want men to be like? (Help a brother out)

Started by The Boston Crab, September 24, 2018, 02:31:42 PM

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QDRPHNC

Quote from: Wet Blanket on September 24, 2018, 04:30:58 PM
If this were the case why do cheating, immature, sex-hounds do so well in life?

Well there's the paradox. I think it possible to have the elements that make cheating, immature, sex-hounds attractive, without actually being one. The equivalent of a rollercoaster, rather than being shoved out of a plane with no parachute.

I guess the general conclusion is that you can't generalise accurately.

pancreas

I thought the general conclusion is that Buelligan is a necrophiliac.

kittens

why do people say 'a necrophiliac' for a necrophile but not 'a paedophiliac' for a paedophile

kittens


Quote from: pancreas on September 24, 2018, 05:04:44 PM
I thought the general conclusion is that Buelligan is a necrophiliac.

Necrophilia: dead boring (© 1974 Jonny Collins)

Lemming

Not a woman, but I'm into men, and the best characteristics I look for in anyone are empathy, humour and intelligence, in that order. If someone completely defeats me in an argument, that's attractive. Luckily for prospective partners, I'm a complete shithead who's routinely wrong about everything, so there's plenty of opportunity there. I also like traditionally feminine-coded traits (cosmetic or personality-wise) in men and masculine-coded ones in women. You'd think that'd be unusual, but a bunch of women I know expressed agreement.

A massive cock that can actually be physically seen through clothing also helps.

If all else fails, try just lying about everything except your name, stuffing a 12 inch dildo down your pants and putting on a quasi-French accent.

bgmnts

Quote from: Lemming on September 24, 2018, 05:25:12 PM
Not a woman, but I'm into men, and the best characteristics I look for in anyone are empathy, humour and intelligence, in that order. If someone completely defeats me in an argument, that's attractive. Luckily for prospective partners, I'm a complete shithead who's routinely wrong about everything, so there's plenty of opportunity there. I also like traditionally feminine-coded traits (cosmetic or personality-wise) in men and masculine-coded ones in women. You'd think that'd be unusual, but a bunch of women I know expressed agreement.

A massive cock that can actually be physically seen through clothing also helps.

If all else fails, try just lying about everything except your name, stuffing a 12 inch dildo down your pants and putting on a quasi-French accent.

That's all genuinely quite intriguing but where the heck is Nina Hagen!?

Lemming

Thought it was time for a change, but I am regretting the change more and more with each post. Might change back.

Pijlstaart

Women are not about the fundamentals, they don't like that. Burrowing, dangling, ambushing, they don't care. Women like flowers and thick cloying parfum, which are both dreadful. They wouldn't last long in the wasteland, whilst I would last for many days, or even a week. They like nagging, but only obscure nagging, reeling off the laundry list of clean clothes, wash behind ear, get out of nook every day is joyless to them. Give them a big Gordon Brown smile and feed them endless mimosas, maybe taking photos of a mimosa in front of a setting sun or a mimosa next to a book.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

QuoteIf someone completely defeats me in an argument, that's attractive.

I'm ex-directory by the way so don't try anything.

Bhazor


From what I understand, they want men to be smaller and in canoes.

Small Man Big Horse

Quote from: maett on September 24, 2018, 02:53:35 PM
Not sure what they want men to be like but it seems being able to identify a Doctor Who episode from the vaguest description and recall it's broadcast date, actors and quite extensive production notes doesn't rate high.

I know one woman who would love you for that, but unfortunately she has a husband with an enormous penis. But if he ever dies (or his penis drops off) I will give you her contact details.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: Small Man Big Horse on September 24, 2018, 07:19:19 PM
I know one woman who would love you for that, but unfortunately she has a husband with an enormous penis. But if he ever dies (or his penis drops off) I will give you her contact details.

In this context is the enormous penis also a form of defensive weapon to deflect male attackers? I am imagining a mighty pork sword being unsheathed from its scrotal scabbard to defend the honour of its fair lady.

Noonling

Quote from: bgmnts on September 24, 2018, 04:21:56 PM
The opposite of whatever I am. Whatever I do or say, do the opposite and you'll be up to your navel in lady parts.

No, you're doing it wrong. You want to phrase it more like: "Well I am so amazing I'm actually a bit intimidating to the ladies, who just feel they can't match up to my good looks, charm and brilliant humour. So just be sure not to be too magnificent and you'll be up to your navel in lady parts."

Utter Shit

Nowadays a lot of scientists reckon all women are different, with different personalities, different motivations, different characteristics. One offshoot from this train of thought is that women probably don't like men thinking there are catch-all methods of getting them to find you attractive. Probably bollocks but it's worth considering.

Small Man Big Horse

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on September 24, 2018, 07:25:05 PM
In this context is the enormous penis also a form of defensive weapon to deflect male attackers? I am imagining a mighty pork sword being unsheathed from its scrotal scabbard to defend the honour of its fair lady.

I've never seen it used in such a way but it's more than possible, he seems like the type.

flotemysost

Quote from: Lemming on September 24, 2018, 05:25:12 PM
Not a woman, but I'm into men, and the best characteristics I look for in anyone are empathy, humour and intelligence, in that order.

Am a woman, am into men, and the above three are pretty much my priorities in a partner too. I personally find a lack of self-consciousness (not attention-seeking or arrogance, but genuinely being open to making a tit of yourself, and generally not having too many hang-ups about how you come across - especially about typical 'blokey' stuff) attractive too.

Expecting an accurate answer to what ALL women want is a bit of a tall order, though. What one person finds funny or interesting or admirable is obviously going to differ massively from person to person - everyone's a different cocktail of backgrounds and influences and experiences that make them into what they're into.

Goes without saying, but long-term partner criteria most likely isn't going to be the same as casual shag criteria.

I'm also perpetually single, so I'm probably the worst person to give advice on this topic :(

I don't mean some dating bullshit. I mean what's the endgame for men's existence.

Urinal Cake

Having children to pass on genes, world view and succeed where you have failed.

Cuellar

Quote from: The Boston Crab on September 24, 2018, 10:08:00 PM
I don't mean some dating bullshit. I mean what's the endgame for men's existence.

You really must try being yourself, it's simply wonderful!


Utter Shit

Quote from: The Boston Crab on September 24, 2018, 10:08:00 PM
I don't mean some dating bullshit. I mean what's the endgame for men's existence.

I think women just generally want men to stop being such cunts. I could do without the whole "saying MEN ARE CUNTS but then getting all innocent-eyed when men who don't consider themselves cunts think it's unfair to lump all men into together" thing, but their request isn't especially complex or unreasonable.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

QuoteI think women just generally want men to stop being such cunts.

Lol good luck

Oh, shit. That's the one thing men can't do.

Now I understand why they're getting so worked up about the whole thing.

From a medical perspective, all that exasperation will probably shorten their lifespan, unfortunately.

hamfist

They want men to be a bit 'psssshhhhh', and sometimes a bit 'whhhhhhsssssssssss' and every now and again to be a bit 'zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzch'. Some women like men a bit 'iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii', but these are rare.

Hope this helps.


thenoise

Hey Boston Crap, I just been on the phone to all women.  They say they want you to stop starting shitty threads.  'K NOW?


nero

I'm a woman.

I find a lot of men talk at me, assuming that I lack the knowledge they will soon thoughtfully impart.
A lot of my interests are traditionally masculine, so I get guitar salesmen 'teaching' me how to play, or guiding me away to another style than the one I want to buy ("you don't want that one...") or even worse - just playing the guitar I am interested in as I stand and listen.

I have a motorbike and it is a similar thing.
I have done a lot of solo bike trips around the world. I had a bloke get really pissed off at me because people were more interested in my Mongolia trip than his beach ride earlier that day.

Lifting weights at the gym, talking about music, twentieth century politics, sports, surrealist film...I get talked AT and I frustratingly feel conditioned to take a passive role and listen, otherwise be seen as a bitch.
That's why I generally enjoy speaking with women more, although I have some lovely male friends.

I just find it tiresome. I get what women mean by 'mansplaining.'