Topics for citizenship lessons at school

[pancreas]

How to dispute a parking fine
Acid attacks: giving and receiving
Choosing a good safe word

[Spoon of Ploff]

- Learn the proper way to tut
- Proper identification of the different types of mist and condensation
- The correct way to evaluate bus and train timetables given weather type and temperature
- Successfully translate between a high end Cockney and a base dweller from the Forest of Dean arguing over an eBay transaction gone awry (practical test)

[Sebastian Cobb]

- knowing your place, why the landlord is king.

[greenman]

- Abusing a minimum wage retail worker for decisions taken by higher management, in person or over the phone.

[Huxleys Babkins]

- Just buying it for the Thorpe Park vouchers; newspapers in the 21st century

- Smile and nod; feigning interest during your fourth gym induction in 10 years

- Large cod and chips twice, please; chip shop vernacular for dummies

- Fuck it, just go; hasty automotive manoeuvres for the most important person on the road: YOU

- It's all we had to look at; visually appreciating Barbara Windsor c. 1964-78

[Ferris]

- The Schengen Zone, and how to leave it.
- Afternoon snoozing, and you.
- Mild ales, mile weather, mild times: having your perfect vacation in the West Midlands.

[Pingers]

From arsey to outright hateful violence - Life in Leeds

'Sorry' - when to say it, how to say it, including when it wasn't your fault, or it was but you're not really sorry

Paedos are scum cunts but that 15 year old has lovely tits doesn't she? - How to navigate the confusing world of right wing tabloids in adulthood

[Spoon of Ploff]

English Irony 101

[pancreas]

English Irony (& History) 101 for Zionists

[willpurry]

Pedestrian roleplay - how to get out of each other's way at the same time.

[Jerzy Bondov]

How To Exercise Your God Given Right As A Freeman Of The Land To Travel Upon The Highways Without Hindrance, Let Or Levy In Any Manner You See Fit Using Your Privately Owned Automobile, Or: Driving around with no tax or insurance

[Cuellar]

Geoffreys Boycott and How to Recognise Them

[Pingers]

Tacchini to Lacoste: Tracksuit semiotics on Merseyside

White Lightning vs. 8 Ace: How to calculate pence per alcohol unit. Can you get so drunk you'll shit in a town centre fountain at 3 pm for under £6?

Great things about Lincolnshire: WITHDRAWN FROM SYLLABUS

[Spoon of Ploff]

tonal inflection, pitch, emphasis and visual cues: watch the following recorded word utterances  and determine the correct response

'mate'                   - correct response:  'mate'
'mate'                   - correct response:  'wha-?'
'mate'                   - correct response:  break nearest bottle and wave it in a threatening manner
'mate'                   - correct response: 'ahhh maaaaate...'
'mate'                   - correct response: back away, slowly
'mate'                   - correct response: back away, quickly
'mate'                   - correct response: back away, quicklier
'awwright?'            - correct response: 'awright mate'

[Pingers]

Fingers of Fudge: Public penetrative foreplay and the law.

[Notlob]

Cultural Integration 1: An Introduction to Dogging
Cultural Integration 2: Dogging and the Citizen
Cultural Integration 3: Dogging for Health and Fitness
Cultural Integration 4: Dogging for Mental Health
Cultural Integration 5: Dogging and Shakespeare
Cultural Integration 6: The National Anthem

Assessment: coursework, field-work and written & practical exams

[Spoon of Ploff]

PIFs 1974-1983